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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's not funny anymore or am I just being uptight?

104 replies

notfunnyy · 12/10/2023 18:25

I fell over when out with a relative, I'm quite badly bruised and burst into tears from the shock and embarrassment after falling. I'm in my 20s so there was no concern about my being seriously injured, but I was still badly bruised and in pain. It happened in front of a huge crowd and was really embarrassing.

My relative found it hilarious watching me fall over, and stood there laughing whilst a stranger came over and helped me stand back up again. I laughed it off as well at the time, and tried to make a joke of it as I didn't want to take myself too seriously and I was embarrassed as a lot of people had seen it happen.

The whole day when I was with my relative they would randomly start laughing to themselves, and say they were thinking about when I fell over. They found it hilarious and kept bringing it up. It's been a few days now and they still laugh, like when they first see me they will start laughing and tell me they're remembering about when I fell over.

I'm finding it really tedious and annoying now, as I don't find it funny anymore and it feels like it's getting to become quite mean in nature to keep laughing about it, but I don't know if I'm just being uptight with no sense of humour?

OP posts:

violetcuriosity · 13/10/2023 07:32

Sorry but I'm in the laughing camp too- during the lockdown when there was mud literally everywhere my friends and I slipped over so many times, it actually made lockdown easier all those falls. So, yes, I guess I am a slapstick, banana skin type of buffoon 🤣. Just tell them it's not funny but that'll probably make it funnier- just saying.

ReturnOfTheRainMac · 13/10/2023 07:38

notfunnyy · 13/10/2023 07:13

Thank you all, it’s my Mum who is the relative in question. It’s the ongoing laughter I find annoying, where it’s constantly brought up days later. She has done this with other things before.

I’m like a lot of you where I don’t find falling over or slapstick comedy funny, if I see someone fall I worry they’ve hurt themselves and I don’t want them to feel embarrassed.

We worry about that and don't want them to feel embarrassed also. We aren't bad people and have a lot of empathy but it's a reaction we don't have a lot of control over initially.

In fact, I'd say we have more empathy than some of the awful responses here claiming we are unintelligent, have no empathy and the like.

Loftytofty · 13/10/2023 07:41

I’m so sorry OP. Your mum should be the one comforting you, not mocking you. Can you talk to her about this? Will explaining how hurt you are by her reaction help?

Couldyounot · 13/10/2023 07:43

Well, she sounds adorable.

Loubelle70 · 13/10/2023 07:46

KookyAndSpooky · 12/10/2023 18:44

I've never found people falling over funny. Just, why?

I would look the relative dead in the eye each time with deep concern and say 'Are you ok?'

When they respond with their bland, slightly baffled response then you can just say 'I understand you might have found it funny in the moment but it really doesn't seem normal to be going on about it still.' Then tilt your head and continue to look concerned.

I love this 🤣

itsgettingweird · 13/10/2023 07:47

Next time you see them burst out laughing first.

When they ask what's funny tell them you're remembering what a right twat they were about you falling over!

Yanbu. Yes, it can be funny when someone falls. You should always check they are alright first and it was a funny situation.

Then it's over.

determinedtomakethiswork · 13/10/2023 07:58

Well, if it's your mum, there's going to come a day when she falls over and she breaks her hip or her shoulder or wrist. She ought to be very careful about laughing about other people.

KimberleyClark · 13/10/2023 08:02

Certain kinds of fall are funny. People tottering on absurdly high heels, being knocked over by a wave as they pose for a photo in the surf, going to sit down and missing the seat. But if I actually saw someone fall over in the street my first thought would be are they OK.

billyt · 13/10/2023 08:40

I love slapstick, but I realise it's fake and no-one is actually hurt.

I have never laughed at anyone falling over in real life, you have to be a sick bastard to find that amusing. And I certainly wouldn't find it the slightest bit funny if it was someone I (supposedly) cared about.

And as for your mother? Is she thick or just a bitch?

junebirthdaygirl · 13/10/2023 08:41

I certainly didn't find it funny first time l met my friend after she fell over face down. All her face was badly bruised and her teeth were permanently damaged. Totally beats me why people find it funny. Also my dsis tripped over a manhole cover and had horrendous bruising. She felt such an idiot she never got checked out and tried to act like all was fine. Weeks later after some violent headaches it was discovered she had concussion. Others laughing and making us feel like fools stops people looking for possible injuries.
Anyone who would laugh there is a total idiot.

OhDoSitDownAndShutUp · 13/10/2023 08:43

Your relative is a moron.

Wouldyouguess · 13/10/2023 08:56

LakeTiticaca · 12/10/2023 18:50

Over the past half a century I have fallen over on numerous occasions and I can't remember at any time did my friends not piss themselves laughing.
Lighten up a bit

Are you doing it on purpose to make people laugh or do you have a toxic friendship group?

OP is your relative 5 yo or under?

Iknowthis1 · 13/10/2023 09:02

I've never understood what people think is funny about other people getting hurt.

I don't have much time for adults with so little empathy.

Annoyingfly · 13/10/2023 09:06

LakeTiticaca · 12/10/2023 18:50

Over the past half a century I have fallen over on numerous occasions and I can't remember at any time did my friends not piss themselves laughing.
Lighten up a bit

OR you could stop associating with callous cunts.
Just a thought.

TheOccupier · 13/10/2023 09:12

Ugh this is sad. Have you actually sad "Mum, I laughed it off at the time because I was so embarrassed, but I actually really hurt myself, it's not funny"? Is she usually so unkind?

TammyJones · 13/10/2023 09:14

My ex was a bit like this - slap stick humour.
I'd be the one picking you up.
I fell over a bit back - the couple behind me were lovely- checking I was ok. - my dh caught me just in time- he's not that into slap in reality ( only on tv like a pp)
Is your dm cruel in other ways?

herownworstenemy · 13/10/2023 09:18

Tell your mum its getting tedious and she's behaving like a dick. Tell her laughing at others in pain is unkind and a parent laughing when their child is in pain is never OK at any age. Tell her she has done it before and as a consequence you're becoming wary of spending time with her. She's an adult, speak to her like a fellow adult. Take all your feelings and emotion out of it, be assertive, factual, and hold her accountable.

From your first post it sounds like you're conditioned to think that if you react she'll tell you that you lack a sense of humour, or that you're 'over-reacting'. And she'll do it again and again. Fuck that DARVO shit. It doesn't stop unless you stop her, you can't change her only yourself so its all about how you react. So if you want to shut it down, shut it down. Perhaps read 'a woman in your own right', decide boundaries that are acceptable to you and develop your voice in this adult relationship.

nadine90 · 13/10/2023 09:23

I don’t know what comes over me when I see people fall but sometimes I can’t help but laugh. I think it’s the unexpected, slapstick is not my humour generally. I also often can’t stop myself laughing when I know I shouldn’t. Like in assemblies at school, at work, even at funerals! It’s not something I want to do and can be extremely inappropriate and embarrassing!
My point is, people can’t always help what they laugh at. If it’s upsetting you, just say so. If you were laughing along initially then they prob thought you’d found it funny too.

billy1966 · 13/10/2023 09:27

Your mum sounds really awful.

Has she something wrong with her?

I cannot imagine laughing when someone falls and is hurt and crying.

That strikes me as really FXXKED UP.

Is your mother normally so unpleasant?

If so, see a lot less of her.

I don't think her reaction is normal.

Funkyslippers · 13/10/2023 09:30

Gosh I fell over and hurt myself whilst running a few weeks ago. At the time my running partner and friend was really concerned and couldn't have been more helpful. I had my back to her so couldn't see or hear if she laughed or not but she probably didn't. I was really embarrassed at the time and would have been mortified if she'd laughed out loud. If I hadn't been hurt it wouldn't have bother me so much but to laugh about it days later when you had been hurt and showing no concern for you is shit of her

RainbowUtensils · 13/10/2023 09:35

notfunnyy · 13/10/2023 07:13

Thank you all, it’s my Mum who is the relative in question. It’s the ongoing laughter I find annoying, where it’s constantly brought up days later. She has done this with other things before.

I’m like a lot of you where I don’t find falling over or slapstick comedy funny, if I see someone fall I worry they’ve hurt themselves and I don’t want them to feel embarrassed.

Push her over. Only half joking.

Autumntimeagain · 13/10/2023 10:04

Sorry for your pain and discomfort OP, but I just wanted to say, to all the people saying that laughing at someone falling down is very 'abnormal' behaviour, that actually, it's not abnormal in any way at all ?

It's simply having 'slapstick' sense of humor I'm afraid.
And it's very common indeed for people to find 'slapstick comedy' amusing/funny.

That's what made/makes comedy like Laurel & Hardy, The Three Stooges, Charlie Chaplin etc etc hugely popular for heavens sake.

I'm not saying that it's nice for your relative to be constantly reminding you of the fall, because it's not, but it IS perfectly normal to find 'slapstick' funny.

NC4Obvs · 13/10/2023 10:06

I'd have snapped by now.

What a bitch.

"Yeah it's so funny how you saw your daughter fall and hurt herself and instead of helping stood their laughing while a stranger checked I was ok.

I wonder if the stranger is laughing about how funny it is you didn't give a shit."

NC4Obvs · 13/10/2023 10:09

And to add. I do find falling over funny and will sometimes laugh if friends/family fall over in a funny way.

But that doesn't mean you also don't check they're Ok and certainly if the person was hurt/upset then I'd turn the laugh off pretty damn quickly.

I also wouldn't laugh about it after unless that person brought it up. That's just cruel and frankly pretty strange behaviour from an adult.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 13/10/2023 10:44

There is a difference between types of falls surely? I have fallen at times when my friends have laughed - although they definitely did not keep going on and on about it. But when I had a really bad fall (front tooth knocked out, tooth went through my lip, broke my nose) no one laughed. Nor should they. If you are badly bruised and shaken, then there is no way anyone should be laughing and those who do are twats.

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