Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to understand and get something to be done about the school toilet issue.

370 replies

Rasell · 12/10/2023 12:39

Until a couple of days ago I was blissfully unaware of the fact that lots of children are unable to go to the toilet all day at school on a daily basis, because lots of schools countrywide lock their toilets during lesson time and then are either too understaffed to open them or there are just too many children trying to use them, there's not enough time to eat and queue up for the toilet so these children are forced to hold it in all day, every day.
This seems to be because of appalling antisocial behaviour, destroying the facilities, bullying and worse but I'm not clear as to whether that's always the reason why.
I very much sympathise with schools having to deal with this and am horrified by the utter lack of values, respect, care, integrity and common decency that some people are raising their children to have. I don't know how to solve that problem but it definitely can't be blamed on schools or government, in my opinion; if you have children, raise them to be decent human beings. That's your job.
Denying children the right to use the toilet is unacceptable, though.
No-one can expect older children to just swan off at any given moment for a wee when they're busy doing a task in a lesson; if I need the loo while I'm busy at work I wait until I finish it then I go. However, if I've got my period and am leaking, or suddenly get a tummy ache or something, then I go immediately. Why should that be different at school? Why should they sit there in a pool of blood or desperately trying to hold their poo? How can they focus or work to their best ability?
This feels like pensioners having to choose between heating their homes or eating, or children coming to school without having breakfast and not being able to concentrate. We can't allow our children to have to choose whether they eat or go to the toilet, or sit in a classroom unable to follow the teacher because they're worried they're going to wet themselves. Boys weeing in bushes and girls holding it in all day...this is madness!!
The thread I was following was a mix of people's experiences from either side of the argument and rants. I really want to understand what's going on because I think we need to do something about it. I'm no-one and don't even have any children going through this but I'm so shocked by it that I want to get some facts and start a petition, I don't know, do something! Please help with useful information and comments. Thank you!

To want to understand and get something to be done about the school toilet issue.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MrsHamlet · 12/10/2023 20:50

@Vitriolinsanity you've just made my day: thank you for saying what a lot of us are thinking!

Vitriolinsanity · 12/10/2023 20:51

@noblegiraffe and all other school staff, I'm happy to take the ban on your behalf. Keep fighting the good fight!

Vitriolinsanity · 12/10/2023 20:53

@MrsHamlet happy to help

MargotBamborough · 12/10/2023 20:59

Vitriolinsanity · 12/10/2023 20:48

MN: prepare to ban me.

@MargotBamborough you are quite simply a prick. A stupid, goady, massively ridiculous prick. If all pricks could type you'd be able to be their leader. You could indeed be the Union Leader of The Pricks.

If you were a real person and not some ridiculous prick troll I'd worry about the state of the world a lot more than I do.

If the things you are saying about the state of schools are true then I imagine I am the very least of your worries.

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:03

@Vitriolinsanity
Thanks for (once again) dealing with the shit so that teachers don't have to.

Vitriolinsanity · 12/10/2023 21:03

@Rasell

Please, get involved.

Write to your MP.

Petition parents to get on board with supporting efforts to curtail terrible behaviour.

Get elected as a Governor, see what schools have to do every day to educate, inspire and protect children.

Schools are crying out for massive parental support. Your kids are in classes with children whose Parents give zero shits.

This is wrong! You know it. We know it. It's effecting your child's right to their education and enjoyment of school. It's effecting their safe place outside their home.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/10/2023 21:04

If the things you are saying about the state of schools are true then I imagine I am the very least of your worries.

It's hard to tell whether your 'well you should all quit then' comments are a genuine suggestion or a bizarre way of trying to call teachers' bluff in order to somehow prove that we're making it all up and wildly exaggerating what it's like in schools.

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:10

Generally teachers keep teaching because they like the kids.

The suggestion that 'if you liked the kids you'd quit' is just batshit. Kids have far more going on than just needing the toilet.

Some of them even need teaching maths. The ones I'm currently teaching who are applying to Oxbridge to do maths wouldn't appreciate me quitting 'because of the toilets'. Not even the toilets in my school, either.

Mum1976Mum · 12/10/2023 21:11

My children attend and I work at a private secondary school. Each form has a separate house which has a common room and about 8 toilets. All children go back to their houses at breaks and lunch. They have a long day (8-5.30) but this allows for an hour lunch and decent breaks. All our toilets are open at all times and we rarely have an incident. The difference…every parent is paying a fortune for this education and most would not be happy if their child was pissing around in the toilet instead of at lessons. Also, we can pretty easily suspend and expel!

MargotBamborough · 12/10/2023 21:12

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:10

Generally teachers keep teaching because they like the kids.

The suggestion that 'if you liked the kids you'd quit' is just batshit. Kids have far more going on than just needing the toilet.

Some of them even need teaching maths. The ones I'm currently teaching who are applying to Oxbridge to do maths wouldn't appreciate me quitting 'because of the toilets'. Not even the toilets in my school, either.

Teachers who liked kids wouldn't treat them worse than animals.

MargotBamborough · 12/10/2023 21:13

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/10/2023 21:04

If the things you are saying about the state of schools are true then I imagine I am the very least of your worries.

It's hard to tell whether your 'well you should all quit then' comments are a genuine suggestion or a bizarre way of trying to call teachers' bluff in order to somehow prove that we're making it all up and wildly exaggerating what it's like in schools.

I haven't accused anyone of exaggerating what it is like in schools.

If it is this bad in schools then something needs to be done and clearly the current "moan but do nothing" approach isn't working.

Except increasing the rate of UTIs and truancy.

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:14

What are you doing about it, Margot?

crumblingschools · 12/10/2023 21:18

@MargotBamborough should it only be teachers who have to do something, what about other school staff?

Rasell · 12/10/2023 21:18

@Vitriolinsanity my kids aren't in schools like this. As I've said before, I work in a primary and my kids are in secondary...never been affected by these issues! The vast majority of parents are completely on board and the issues I hear of get resolved quickly. It's not perfect but I feel extremely lucky! I can't commit to being a governor for personal reasons but I will write to MPs. I started drafting a petition but wanted more info; that's why I started this thread, in the hope of getting it without the name calling and rants the other thread had descended into! No such luck 😂
If I post the petition can you guys correct any mistakes?
Let's work together and see if we can start improving things!

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:19

What do you want the petition to be about?

Because if it's just 'school toilets to be open at all times' then lots of people have explained why they're shut in the first place and a petition won't solve those problems.

MargotBamborough · 12/10/2023 21:21

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:14

What are you doing about it, Margot?

Making a mental note never to send my children to a state school in the UK.

greenspaces4peace · 12/10/2023 21:24

nine pages in; people are trying to help, people are asking who to write to, how to get things even minor things "fixed" and no one is coughing up names and email addresses.
is it local regional national
saying nothing can't be done isn't a way forward.
and toileting is not a teachers job so do tell who can make a difference?

november 19th is world toilet day, besides the UN there are other organizations that support this could parents in the uk tap into some of the concepts or get funding. if prisons can have indistructable toilets i'm sure a school can get a few.

crumblingschools · 12/10/2023 21:31

@greenspaces4peace it is a national problem, need to write to MPs for more school funding, more funding for SEN and more children’s services

Rasell · 12/10/2023 21:32

@noblegiraffe no. I do want the toilets to be open and think it's appalling that they're not but it really is the tip of the iceberg. I think we need to really fight for funding so that schools can have enough staff, supervised toilets or a system that works in place, better send provisions and the ability to enforce punishments. The essentials to be fit for purpose and safe for all!

OP posts:
Eddyraisins · 12/10/2023 21:39

towriteyoumustlive · 12/10/2023 13:39

The bottom line is teaching children to respect other people's property and respect each other.

My school had £1000s of damage done hence the toilets are only open at break and briefly between lessons to prevent damage.

Solution:

  1. hold parents accountable for any damage so it doesn't have to be taken out of school budget.

  2. severe consequences for children "loitering" in toilets (vaping with their mates) and preventing others from using them as it is too intimidating.

And yet, the children I mention in '2' above are often the same ones that demand to go and pee in lessons (as how can they pee at break with 4 of them in a cubicle vaping...) and then their parents claim we are denying them of their basic rights.

On one occasion I arrived at my break time toilet duty (yes, we actually have to station teachers on the toilets!) and had to remove 22 children from the open plan toilets. There were 10 in the main bit, but as I walked down to the 4 cubicles, another 12 came out of the cubicles!

So what would be a suitable consequence for these kids? 1 day exclusions? Can you imagine the uproar from the parents?? My little darling did nuffin' wrong and got excluded for going to the toilet... Daily Mail front page!

This is us every break time. If you are even 30 seconds held back after class they all pile in and hog the toilets for the 15 minutes with six of them in there vaping with no regard for anyone else.

greenspaces4peace · 12/10/2023 21:40

so @crumblingschools writing to mp's is a good start. do you cc specific school head's do you contact the la to gather data re which schools do and how many toilets are open functioning per student population?
if you narrow down the request, keep it super specific gather your data and present it well little things can happen.
a generic request for "more money" won't yield any resulty.
start small.

CoastersforTea · 12/10/2023 21:42

I have a primary aged DC and think it's disgusting what happens in secondary.

I checked my local secondary schools websites when I read the other thread.

One school has no afternoon break and 2 sittings for lunch, 1 starting at 11.30 and ending at 12.10 so in theory the children could be going over 3 hours without using the toilet if they're in the first sitting for lunch, the other was slightly better starting at 12.20 and ending at 1pm but even thats 2.5 hours and pushing it imo.

This school also says that pupils can't go to the toilet between lessons as they have 5 minutes at lesson change over and it's a huge school (over 2k pupils) so that's huge.

The other one is slightly better and has lunch for all 12.20-12.50pm but that's still short to eat and go to the toilet.

My DC has urgency issues related to a muscle condition so can't feel when they need to go, we're working on it but we're only 2 years away from secondary and the thought of these rules terrifies me.

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:43

If your school is restricting your children's access to the toilet then email your MP using https://www.writetothem.com/ and ask that your concern be forwarded to Gillian Keegan, Secretary of State for Education and you'll get a response from the DfE.

WriteToThem

WriteToThem is a website which provides an easy way to contact MPs, councillors and other elected representatives.

https://www.writetothem.com/

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2023 21:44

@CoastersforTea if your child has a medical condition which requires unrestricted access to the toilet you just ask the school for a toilet pass and they can use it to go in lessons.

DanglingMod · 12/10/2023 21:45

People who do not work in schools, once again for the hard of hearing, have ZERO idea what it is currently like.

Toilets open with unlimited access equals toilets soon all closed because they are vandalised. Or equals a child seriously self-harming. Or a child taking drugs. Listen to the fucking school staff telling you actual facts. We are not treating them like animals; we are trying to keep them as safe as we can!