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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery negligence

81 replies

ohsandy · 11/10/2023 21:39

Okay so my LO started nursery a week ago. She just goes for 1.5 hours whilst I go to cafe next door or gym.

Today when I collected her, she was in her "spare clothes" and the teacher passed me a bag of her soiled clothes explaining that her poo had leaked out of the nappy and gone on her clothes.

Firstly, this hasn't happened since she was about 4 months old. When I checked the soiled clothes at home, it wasn't just around the edge, it was everywhere!!! I can't imagine how it got so messy. Her poos are solid and literally never leak like that.

At this point, I didn't think too much of it.

It wasn't until bath time when I undressed her and I noticed the awful nappy rash which again she NEVER gets usually. Which suggests she was sitting in the poo for quite some time before anyone noticed :(

And worse, her bottom wasn't cleaned properly. Still specks of poo on her skin.

The new nappy was put on awfully - all hanging off.

When I told my partner I burst into tears. I already find it so hard leaving my baby and this just makes me feel like I really can't trust these people.

Am I overreacting? Or is this totally out of order?

What should I do? Should I say something?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 11/10/2023 21:42

Could she have had some diarrhoea, or a sloppy poo due to the anxiety of nursery ?

luckysonofagun · 11/10/2023 21:47

Nursery are never going to be as on it as a parent. I would mention she wasn't properly cleaned. And I would keep a close eye on how dc is, are they happy settled etc

90yomakeuproom · 11/10/2023 21:49

I agree it could have been a loose poo.

I completely understand your feelings but maybe see what happens next time. How old is she?

Worriedmum86 · 11/10/2023 21:51

She only goes for 1.5 hours so hasn't been sitting in a soiled nappy for hours (unless she was dropped off with it soiled)

Is she teething? This can account for runny poo and causing terrible nappy rash.

As for not been cleaned properly and specks of poo left.... could DC have been creating and screaming and wriggling so much the nursery worker has done the best they could? Or possibly that horrible bitty poo that they get sometimes which is impossible to clean every speck?

Maybe mention to the nursery that she has bad nappy rash and give them cream to apply. If you want to then mention that she didn't appear to have been cleaned fully as there were specks of poo in her nappy still.

Mummyboy1 · 11/10/2023 21:52

If she's only there for 1.5 hours then it sounds like a diarrhoea/ explosive poo nappy.

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/10/2023 21:53

I would by all means mention she wasn't cleaned properly.

But she genuinely could of had a bad poo, went to sit down and it went all over.
Nursery workers don't see the second they have a poo.

Worriedmum86 · 11/10/2023 21:54

How old is DC?? I assumed baby but you say teacher?

If this is a school nursery then yabu. I worked in a school nursery and we had to change nappies in pairs for safeguarding reasons. So either the child would have to clean themselves up or 2 people off the floor....so we couldn't always drop everything to go do it straight away we'd have to wait for someone else to come into the room before we could.

Motomum23 · 11/10/2023 22:09

I've been a childminder for 15 years. A normal poo does not give nappy rash in that period of time. Sounds like she's teething - a teething poo is very nasty and full of acid and can literally leave the bum looking red even if you watch the child fill their nappy and change it straight away.

ohsandy · 11/10/2023 22:09

Sorry, she's 13 months !

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 11/10/2023 22:14

How long was it between you collecting her and then undressing her for her bath?

MissHoollie · 11/10/2023 22:17

I think you are over reacting a bit
Even having diarrhea on your skin for a short period can cause a rash due to the increased acid.
In a busy nursery it may not have been noticed immediately.

OnlyBoobsandBabies · 11/10/2023 22:20

Yeah I think you're overreacting a little bit.

ruthonfire · 11/10/2023 22:20

MissHoollie · 11/10/2023 22:17

I think you are over reacting a bit
Even having diarrhea on your skin for a short period can cause a rash due to the increased acid.
In a busy nursery it may not have been noticed immediately.

Basically this.

If she only goes for 1.5 hours per week then she won't have been like that for ages.

Nursery workers have lots of kids to look after so it may not have been noticed immediately.

If you are that concerned you may have to drop your cafe/gym and look after her yourself.

I know when dd goes to nursery she won't be getting the same one on one care she gets at home, unfortunately I don't have a choice as I have to work.

Namenamchange · 11/10/2023 22:22

If you don’t trust them don’t take her. but she can’t have been sitting in it for long if she was only there 1.5 hours. Nursery aren’t able to offer the care that you like at home.

was she in a fresh nappy when you left her?

Namenamchange · 11/10/2023 22:24

It wasn't until bath time when I undressed her and I noticed the awful nappy rash which again she NEVER gets usually. Which suggests she was sitting in the poo for quite some time before anyone noticed :(

has you my changed her in-between picking her up from the gym and bathtime?

Housefullofcatsandkids · 11/10/2023 22:26

Sounds like it was acidic diarrhoea which could cause a rash straight away. If she was in a big mess and wriggling then it might have been hard to get all the bits, especially with diarrhoea. With mine there have been some explosive nappies that I just couldn't clean with wipes and they needed to be bathed. I would send her with nappy cream in case it happens again.

HMW1906 · 11/10/2023 22:32

Is she teething? My son always gets really sloppy, messy poos when he’s teething which leak everywhere and make his bottom really sore. He’s nearly 3 now and it’s still happens, his back molars are just coming through so we’re having the same problem again.

Something like that may explain the messy clothing and sore bottom. It doesn’t explain why her bottom wasn’t cleaned though unless she was wriggling all over the place which my son also does when this happens.

Warmsocks1983 · 11/10/2023 22:33

You mentioned your little one has been attending nursery for a week now. It's quite possible they have picked up a gastro bug causing loose bowels. I don't think the nursery sound like they were negligent. They maybe didn't notice until there was some leaking, and if your child only goes for 1.5 hours I'm not sure if they would even schedule a routine nappy change in that time unless requested. I was just mention the nappy rash so they are aware for the future.

Lilacdressinggown · 11/10/2023 22:36

It’s not negligence.
In a nursery they are busy with entertaining and caring for lots of children and they are probably not going to notice the second a child does a poo.
At home it’s just you and your child. You know her ways and routines. You can’t expect a nursery that she goes to occasionally to know her as well as you do.

SD1978 · 11/10/2023 22:37

Agree with others- it was less than an hour and a half- so your your child wasn't left in it for that long. If you don't like the service, maybe try a different gym crèche?

lillylovely1993 · 11/10/2023 22:39

What time of day did you pick her up ? I really think you have over reacted. If only there for 1.5 hrs then she really wasn’t in an unchanged nappy for long . Did you leave her for ages before checking her nappy once home? You do sound very unreasonable TBH !

ruthonfire · 11/10/2023 22:41

You are also sending her for luxury rather than necessity by the sounds of it, which shouldn't matter when it comes to the quality of care of course. However one may argue that if you are so upset by this 'negligence' you might be best keeping her at home with you since you are lucky enough to have the choice.

EggyandBread · 11/10/2023 22:42

It sounds like she did a massive poo and they rushed the cleanup.

Really not the end of the world. I've had a few botched nappies where it's not put on right or they could have given another wipe.

This alone wouldn't make me think anything of it. Are the nursery staff friendly and caring to your dd? Is the setting nice? Are there screaming children or is it peaceful mostly?

FlowerPower12345 · 11/10/2023 22:43

Hi op, I work in a nursery with children of your dd's age.

I wouldn't worry or find it strange that her nappy leaked. This is happens to them all at one stage or another, they get up to all sorts of physical activities at nursery. Your dd's nappy could have been really full, or as a pp said it could have been a runny poo, and yes diarrhoea can sting delicate skin in a short amount of time, especially if teething.

I would expect her to be reasonably cleaned, though. I know sometimes poo can be gritty and hard to clean, especially if there's been a leak, or if the child is upset and wriggling around during nappy changes. In that case I either ask another staff member to help me clean the children or distract the child so I can clean them. If I really can't get it all, I am sure to let the parent know so they don't think I have just done a sloppy job on purpose.

I'd send nappy cream in with her and let the nursery staff know dd has a bad nappy rash and could they keep on top of changing her as her bottom is very sore.

Give them a chance to rectify it. If it doesn't improve, I'd then speak to the room leader and say you aren't happy.

FawnFrenchieMum · 11/10/2023 22:45

Definitely sounds like the acid sort of runny poo. It’s really hard to clean off when the rash is sore and open too which may explain why some parts were still on.