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Original poster

Nursery negligence

81 replies

ohsandy · 11/10/2023 21:39

Okay so my LO started nursery a week ago. She just goes for 1.5 hours whilst I go to cafe next door or gym.

Today when I collected her, she was in her "spare clothes" and the teacher passed me a bag of her soiled clothes explaining that her poo had leaked out of the nappy and gone on her clothes.

Firstly, this hasn't happened since she was about 4 months old. When I checked the soiled clothes at home, it wasn't just around the edge, it was everywhere!!! I can't imagine how it got so messy. Her poos are solid and literally never leak like that.

At this point, I didn't think too much of it.

It wasn't until bath time when I undressed her and I noticed the awful nappy rash which again she NEVER gets usually. Which suggests she was sitting in the poo for quite some time before anyone noticed :(

And worse, her bottom wasn't cleaned properly. Still specks of poo on her skin.

The new nappy was put on awfully - all hanging off.

When I told my partner I burst into tears. I already find it so hard leaving my baby and this just makes me feel like I really can't trust these people.

Am I overreacting? Or is this totally out of order?

What should I do? Should I say something?

OP posts:
Mumof2teens79 · 11/10/2023 22:51

Definitely not negligence. If it made such a mess it sounds like it was really difficult to clean her. DDs used to stick horribly and the extra wiping itself made her more sore. I just had to wipe the worst off till I could get her in a bath to soak.....which I would have done quite quickly if I knew she needed to change her clothes

Daisymae55 · 11/10/2023 22:59

Ive had issues with our nursery not cleaning my daughter properly and her coming home with awful nappy rash that had her screaming when wiped. She was still covered in poo so definitely not been cleaned properly. I did raise this with the nursery and they were so apologetic and it hasn’t happened since (dd is a wiggler so they’ve started using methods to distract her).

Id definitely have a polite discussion with them. But If she’s only there for an hour and a half she wouldn’t have been left in a poorly nappy for long. I think negligence is a stretch but it’s worth having a discussion to make sure they’re doing what they can

ColleenDonaghy · 11/10/2023 23:04

My dd got horrendous nappy rash at nursery, it was like a burn, she needed a prescription cream to clear it. Teething nappy that wasn't changed straight away as two babies pooed at once and they only noticed one! Just one of those things, no one at fault and not negligence. Could well be something similar here.

Fruitandclottedcream · 11/10/2023 23:14

It doesn't sound like negligence. It sounds like your daughter had a surprise runny poo that leaked everywhere. As others have said teething can trigger it. It's also stomach virus season. The loose and missed poo on wiping is likely just because staff were rushing due to being busy. Unfortunately the risk of things like this happening are higher in a nursery because it's not an environment with 1:1 staffing.

If you're very unhappy I would probably just pop a note on tapestry/your nurseries parent communication app (or if you don't have that, an email) and say something like
"Hello,
I'm just writing to make you aware (name)'s nappy wasn't secured properly and was loose upon pickup. She also had a nappy rash when I picked her up and there was old stool on her bottom. I understand accidents happen, but in future please could you make sure her bottom is completely clean and her nappy is secured properly to prevent future rashes and leaks
Thank you (your name)"

QueenofTerrasen · 11/10/2023 23:15

Warmsocks1983 · 11/10/2023 22:33

You mentioned your little one has been attending nursery for a week now. It's quite possible they have picked up a gastro bug causing loose bowels. I don't think the nursery sound like they were negligent. They maybe didn't notice until there was some leaking, and if your child only goes for 1.5 hours I'm not sure if they would even schedule a routine nappy change in that time unless requested. I was just mention the nappy rash so they are aware for the future.

This. She was there 90 mins, so she wouldn't have been left in it. Babies get upset tummies, especially at nursery! It's a breeding ground for germs. She's had an explosive nappy, and they rushed the clean up. That's the extent, you're over doing it a tad. Honestly if you're that uncomfortable sending her, don't. It's obviously not a necessity and you're clearly not happy doing so.

converseandjeans · 11/10/2023 23:56

How long was it from nursery until you bathed her? It sounds like she was hardly at nursery if she only does 90 mins.

You probably need a childminder - they have less children around & might notice quicker.

Nevermind31 · 11/10/2023 23:58

Sounds like teething… nasty poos that give an immediate nappy rash…

junbean · 12/10/2023 00:02

The rash makes it obvious what happened. I would report it to someone above. In my experience if something like that happens it's a sign of neglect in other areas as well. Never hesitate to insist on better care. After a life threatening experience I went with in home 1 on 1 care, will never use a daycare ever again.

Tempone · 12/10/2023 00:09

I'm sorry for whatever your experience was, but I think it's clouding your advice. The rash is most likely teething rash, which also causes horrific poos which can only be properly cleaned by a bath. Running straight to negligence is very, very unfair and possibly damaging in this case. But op if you are unhappy you are of course not obliged to send her back.

The rash makes it obvious what happened. I would report it to someone above. In my experience if something like that happens it's a sign of neglect in other areas as well. Never hesitate to insist on better care. After a life threatening experience I went with in home 1 on 1 care, will never use a daycare eve

jenpil · 12/10/2023 01:24

Do you really need to take a 13 month old to nursery just for 1.5 hours a day?

Especially if you're only going to the shops or a cafe next door.

Take you daughter to nursery when she's older and just enjoy your time with her now. It's time you'll never get back.

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 04:57

I'm amazed at the attitudes on here. Of course you have the right to expect a baby to be cleaned up properly at a nursery regardless if the reason you're using the nursery- rushing because they're busy is a ridiculous excuse. And to be told if she appeared to have diarrhoea-in fact I'd expect to be called-surely they'd want her out of there ASAP. If the OP had left the baby in the charge of her DP or, god forbid, her MIL (🤣) she would have had a very different response!

LadybirdLover · 12/10/2023 05:03

QueenofTerrasen · 11/10/2023 23:15

This. She was there 90 mins, so she wouldn't have been left in it. Babies get upset tummies, especially at nursery! It's a breeding ground for germs. She's had an explosive nappy, and they rushed the clean up. That's the extent, you're over doing it a tad. Honestly if you're that uncomfortable sending her, don't. It's obviously not a necessity and you're clearly not happy doing so.

Show quote history

This.

You’re clearly feeling guilty about unnecessarily offloading your child for a coffee.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/10/2023 05:34

Tempone · 12/10/2023 00:09

I'm sorry for whatever your experience was, but I think it's clouding your advice. The rash is most likely teething rash, which also causes horrific poos which can only be properly cleaned by a bath. Running straight to negligence is very, very unfair and possibly damaging in this case. But op if you are unhappy you are of course not obliged to send her back.

The rash makes it obvious what happened. I would report it to someone above. In my experience if something like that happens it's a sign of neglect in other areas as well. Never hesitate to insist on better care. After a life threatening experience I went with in home 1 on 1 care, will never use a daycare eve

Edited

I agree with the first paragraph in this post. I would give them another chance personally.

Flatandhappy · 12/10/2023 05:35

Total overreaction.

MerryMarigold · 12/10/2023 05:55

Why would you put your child through this for 1.5 hours gym/coffee break? It's so hard for children to separate from their caregiver. It takes time, they actually need to bond with an adult, learn routines, learn to feel safe. Tiny 1.5 hr slots are likely to just really upset her, she hasn't got time to get used to what's going, get to know people (unless it's every day) or learn any routines.

I think the nappy is nothing compared to this weird decision on your part.

The only thing they did wrong was not to tell you it was explosive and went everywhere. I've cleaned up these kind of poos and you use a whole pack of wipes when you just want to put them into a nice bath.

Lastchancechica · 12/10/2023 06:01

If you don’t trust then dont use them again and work out at home? It’s hardly negligence!

Wouldyouguess · 12/10/2023 06:21

A bit of an overreaction to burst in tears because of a nappy rash... But also you yourself didnt notice that the whole day until bathtime= would you not call that negligence using the same train of thought?

HoppingPavlova · 12/10/2023 06:30

A solid poo for less than 1.5hr (as must have been less allowing for the fact, even if done the minute you left had been cleaned up/changed before you returned), will not have gotten all over clothes as you have described or caused the nappy rash you describe.

That’s diarrhoea. And seemingly explosive diarrhoea. That’s not nursery’s fault! Probably caused by an upset tummy due to initial settling in stress, if not a routine thing with teething.

And to be told if she appeared to have diarrhoea-in fact I'd expect to be called-surely they'd want her out of there ASAP

That’s ridiculous. Most of my kids had terrible diarrhoea from teething with each and every tooth. If they had of been in nursery you would have wanted them excluded! Lots of reasons for diarrhoea that are not related to gastro. One of mine would get it so bad with teething that even though at home and being super vigilant with nappy to change at first sign and constantly checking their bum and testicles were red raw and literally had strips of skin coming off (yes, had prescription treatment as well as inch thick barrier creams etc). Obviously poor kid was more uncomfortable with the bottom end than the top when teething. Others had it but not to the same extent if needing medical assistance, but was still very sore and uncomfortable despite us staying completely on top of it.

Castleview6 · 12/10/2023 06:32

You are completely overreacting. She was only there for 1.5 hours so couldn’t have been sitting in it for ages.

if you’re that worried don’t send her - especially as your only going to the gym.

AlltheFs · 12/10/2023 06:38

This is not negligence.

Using a nursery for only 1.5 hours though is bloody weird. What sort of nursery even offers that and what sort of parent thinks that is a good idea? Batshit.

Fairydustandsparklylights · 12/10/2023 06:47

It sounds like an explosion. Plus if it’s just for 1.5 hours then you’re most probably leaving her at a crèche and not a nursery. It must be unsettling for her not knowing anyone so I’m not surprised she had a loose poo.

justlonelystars · 12/10/2023 06:57

My son is about 2.5 and has been going to nursery for 1.5 years. He does occasionally have an explosive poo (often when teething) and these poos often result in a rash. Could just be one of those things.
if it was a solid poo, it wouldn’t have gone on her clothes whether she’d sat in it for 2 minutes or 2 hours. Just sounds like a bad poo.

Bunnycat101 · 12/10/2023 07:02

It happens especially if they’re teething. My first used to get some truly horrible nappies and she’d get a rash in seconds not even minutes.

I am however surprised they’d take a child for 1h30. My nursery had minimum days as they didn’t think a child would settle well for anything less than 2 days a week. Is it more of a gym crèche than a nursery?

Seasidesusy · 12/10/2023 07:04

All of these comments saying it was just a bad poo, runny tummy etc - this would be fine if the issue was just that the nappy had leaked but the OP has said that her child’s bum was still dirty! That is negligent OP and something I’d be bringing up if you keep your child in the nursery.
I wouldn’t raise the issue of her nappy leaking as these things do happen and as others have said, they often don’t notice a poo immediately in a busy nursery.
I also agree with others that 1.5 hours is not enough time for your LO to get to know the setting/staff and it’s probably the same for the staff getting to know her. Could you consider a couple of mornings a week instead maybe?

Fergie51 · 12/10/2023 07:09

Why didn’t you change your baby’s nappy before bath time?
Surely you would want to give her a proper wash when you got home after her having such a messy nappy?
Seems a long time between handover from nursery and giving a bath.