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Original poster

Nursery negligence

81 replies

ohsandy · 11/10/2023 21:39

Okay so my LO started nursery a week ago. She just goes for 1.5 hours whilst I go to cafe next door or gym.

Today when I collected her, she was in her "spare clothes" and the teacher passed me a bag of her soiled clothes explaining that her poo had leaked out of the nappy and gone on her clothes.

Firstly, this hasn't happened since she was about 4 months old. When I checked the soiled clothes at home, it wasn't just around the edge, it was everywhere!!! I can't imagine how it got so messy. Her poos are solid and literally never leak like that.

At this point, I didn't think too much of it.

It wasn't until bath time when I undressed her and I noticed the awful nappy rash which again she NEVER gets usually. Which suggests she was sitting in the poo for quite some time before anyone noticed :(

And worse, her bottom wasn't cleaned properly. Still specks of poo on her skin.

The new nappy was put on awfully - all hanging off.

When I told my partner I burst into tears. I already find it so hard leaving my baby and this just makes me feel like I really can't trust these people.

Am I overreacting? Or is this totally out of order?

What should I do? Should I say something?

OP posts:
kweeble · 12/10/2023 07:09

I’m not sure I believe this; surely you’d have changed her before bath time. Something doesn’t add up on this post.

Hiddenvoice · 12/10/2023 07:11

It’s hard leaving your little one.

Id treat this as a one off and see what happens. My little one is 18 months but every now and then might have a loose nappy, which can cause her to have happy rash.
Your little one might have eaten something that doesn’t fully agree with her. She also wouldn’t have been sitting for hours in it. The one thing that would bother me is not being cleaned properly, however, if she was screaming and upset with nappy rash then it might have been hard for them to do.

How long from when you picked her up to bath time?

Id leave it go this time and see how she is and how the next nursery day goes. You could drop off some nappy rash cream and ask her to be changed more regularly .

BendingSpoons · 12/10/2023 07:16

Is this a normal nursery or one attached to the gym? I was never very keen on the one at my gym, as it felt rushed and chaotic with children coming and going the whole time.

Saying that, it sounds like there was a reason her nappy was so bad and hopefully that won't happen again. DS once had a bad nappy whilst driving on a motorway with no services. By the time we could stop after about 30 mins his bottom was bright red and really sore.

PortalooSunset · 12/10/2023 07:27

How long after getting back from nursery was bath time? How often do you usually change her nappy?
Is she teething?
Unless it happens every time she goes there I wouldn't call it negligence.

PolkaDotStripe · 12/10/2023 07:27

OP I agree with previous posters in that I wouldn’t see this as negligent per se but if you are unhappy then it is definitely worth a conversation or an e-mail. I bet they will be really apologetic and it might make you feel a bit better about leaving her next time if you choose to.

I also had to say that these posts around you shouldn’t be sending your child to nursery to have a life of your own (for 1.5 hours!!) are totally ridiculous and I hope you are not taking them seriously.

Everyone needs a life of their own alongside being a parent otherwise what do you have when they grow up? Presumably you don’t have much and spend your time on forums shaming other people?! You do you. Your DD is obviously very well loved and looked after and you get your time too.

babyproblems · 12/10/2023 07:28

I agree that 1.5hours isn’t long enough for her to get terrible nappy rash from neglect, I expect she’s teething. Put plenty of sudocrem on before she goes and give them a tub aswell to use. X

blanketsmell · 12/10/2023 07:30

She's only there for 1.5 hours so it won't have been too long. Unfortunately these explosive poos happen.

redskytonights · 12/10/2023 07:32

Your baby should have been cleaned properly. But, if this is the first time it's happened, I'd give the nursery the benefit of the doubt and just mention it next time she goes.

The rest is normal. Negligence is an overstatement, especially since you didn't notice yourself until what sounds like it was several hours later. Did you not change her yourself in that time?

BrutusMcDogface · 12/10/2023 07:42

I agree with posters who have said that 1.5 hours is not enough for a baby to settle in properly. How frequently is she going?

It doesn’t sound like negligence to me really; as everyone has said, teething poos can cause this. It’s happened to my kids at nursery and I’ve just made sure to tell them to put on extra cream or whatever. She also probably needed a bath to get it all off.

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 09:58

As I said. Substitute "nursery" for MIL" and "gym" for "hospital appointment" and you'd get entirely different answers.

kirinm · 12/10/2023 10:03

Negligent. Bloody hell. 🙄

kirinm · 12/10/2023 10:04

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 09:58

As I said. Substitute "nursery" for MIL" and "gym" for "hospital appointment" and you'd get entirely different answers.

1-1 care from a grandparent can't be compared to the attention given to a child at nursery. And if that's what the OP wants, she needs a nanny.

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 10:12

@kirinm So if you want your child to have their bottom cleaned and their nappy put on properly, you need to employ a nanny.

God, people are vile. It is absolutely fine for a mother to leave a 13 month old for a couple of hours to go to the gym. Absolutely fine.

KingsleyBorder · 12/10/2023 10:16

1.5 hours a week isn’t nursery it’s a crèche. If this is a nursery that offers full time care then I’m really surprised they agreed to take your DD for such a short time. It would nit make financial or practical sense for them to do so.

Regardless of the definition of the type of care, of course your child should have been cleaned up properly. But these things happen. It’s obviously not their fault that your child had a runny poo.

winterchills · 12/10/2023 10:20

If she was only there for an hour and a
Half and they had changed her its probably not sore because she was in the nappy too long but more cos she wasn't cleaned properly. I would mention it to the nursery manager or room leader as maybe a new member off staff had started and needs more training on how to clean properly and apply a nappy correctly!

InTheRainOnATrain · 12/10/2023 10:28

14 months is the classic time for first molars coming through and that can cause some horrific nappies. Also it’s her first time in a childcare setting so it’s inevitable she’s going to pick up bugs including gastro ones. She clearly wasn’t sat in it for ages if she was only there an hour and a half. Nappies like that can be very difficult to clean with wipes. But if this just a gym creche you use weekly then don’t send her if you don’t want to.

kirinm · 12/10/2023 10:37

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 10:12

@kirinm So if you want your child to have their bottom cleaned and their nappy put on properly, you need to employ a nanny.

God, people are vile. It is absolutely fine for a mother to leave a 13 month old for a couple of hours to go to the gym. Absolutely fine.

I don't care if the OP goes to the gym. But she is suggesting negligence for perhaps not changing a nappy immediately. You've (and she) has no idea how frequently the nappy is being changed but since the child was only there for just over an hour, then it wasn't anywhere near the realms of negligence.

Perhaps OP should choose her words more carefully.

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 10:41

@kirinm No. She was complaining that her baby's bottom wasn't cleaned properly. Which is an absolutely fundamental requirement of care.

gerteddy · 12/10/2023 10:44

I would say you are possibly over reacting.

There were times when my daughter had awful nappy rash that appear out of no where and not because she was left in a dirty nappy. Her worst nappy rashes were around this age and older. I found she had softer poos and nappy rash when she was teething badly.

The same with the cleaning. I know I wiped her bum completely clean but at next nappy change it looked like I had left some behind but there was nothing there when I put the new nappy on.

TravellingT · 12/10/2023 10:51

The nappy rash is probably because of the type of poo it was- it's normal for a child's toileting to change when they're in a new environment, new food etc.

Loose poo is often acidic and can cause irritation even if it's only there for minutes.

Nappies aren't checked every 30 seconds, what probably happened was your LO was sitting/playing with other children, it's not like she would've been sat on a member of staff's lap and the staff ignored the smell. It's not negligence, it's just babies!

You'll know very well that nappies are messy, leaks happen. Perhaps try a bigger size on her if you're worried how far the poo travelled. And next time you're in the nursery just make sure they're aware her tummy is a bit off and provide a nappy rash cream if applicable

MamaToABeautifulBoy · 12/10/2023 10:58

My baby boy has been in nursery for 4 x months, 3 x a week. He has never returned home with any poo residue or a badly applied nappy. And he’s a wriggler. There is no excuse for poor hygiene. I suggest a change of nursery to somewhere with more caring staff. My nursery is honestly amazing.

PurBal · 12/10/2023 11:17

DS has been at his nursery 3 days a week for 16 months now and I’ve had two incidents of “why couldn’t they just clean him properly?!” I know I have to sometimes put him in the bath to properly clean a loose poo so unless this is a regular occurrence I’d let it slide as a one off.

CattingAbout · 12/10/2023 11:22

Negligence is a very strong word OP that should never be used lightly.

Nurseries are never going to get ot a pooey nappy as quickly as you are and nappy rash does sometimes happen. Send in some nappy cream and request it be applied after every poo. You could mention that the nappy didn't seem to be on properly. If this keeps happening then yes it s bit of an issue l, but I do think for one occurrence you are over-reacting.

AfterWeights · 12/10/2023 12:27

Unusual to only go 1.5 hours. Its not long enough for the child to bond with nurseru staff.

Is it a proper full nursery or just a gym creche? Gym creches often have a revolving door of young staff with the bare minimum of training. They are generally not the best childcare.

MerryMarigold · 12/10/2023 15:09

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 09:58

As I said. Substitute "nursery" for MIL" and "gym" for "hospital appointment" and you'd get entirely different answers.

That's like saying: substitute 'mother dying of cancer' for 'missing the bus' and you'd get entirely different answers. Probably because they are entirely different situations. MIL at home, 1:1, with a bath, known carer/ environment. Unavoidable, one-off hospital appointment. They are not comparable.

I made my point from the point of view of someone who works with young children and sees the separation distress they go through - and what helps that and can soothe them. 1.5hr sporadic nursery drops in strange environment with strangers looking after you are likely to be far more upsetting to a baby than a bit of nappy rash. Truthfully, I doubt either will damage them for life.