If you’re mid 40’s

[Lastdaysofsun]

What do you look like? What is your life like? If you’re 40’s

I’m 45, long dark hair, pretty basic style, jeans, converse, denim shorts (am I too old for this?)
Recent signs of ageing, laughter lines and puffy under eyes (hate this!) forehead still quite unlined, it’s my eyes mainly. No Botox yet.
6 or so strands of grey hair that pop up, I cover that with one of those L’Oréal wand
things.
Couple of stone overweight, this and my eyes are my main ageing issues.
I work part time, have a young daughter, see friends for play dates and the occasional drink/dinner out.
Exercise is walking my dog and sea swimming, I need to do more.
Only got more seriously into skin care a few years ago, which I know is terrible. Cleanse & Vitamin C in the morning, cleanse, collagen oil, wrinkle filler, eye cream and Tretinoin at night.
Barely drink these days, smoked socially years ago, still getting periods but only every couple of months, so I’m guessing I’m peri. Not massively happy in marriage, but adore my dc, friends and have a nice job/lifestyle

Curious to know about others of a similar age?

I hardly think anyone could track me down (and do what?) based on my description of myself as a 45 year old blonde woman who has her own business 😄

44. Three kids 6 and under. Work part time Nightshift. Studying part time at uni. Knackered permanently. Always have dark circles under my eyes. Quite a bit of grey hair. Usually colour it but just haven't had time to do it recently. Lines at my eyes. Little chubbier than I would like. Still bf youngest. Don't eat as healthily as I should or could. Usually wear jeans/leggings, t shirt/shirt, hoodies, cons. Starting to feel my age lol

I'm 43 and the happiest I have been. My career is on the up and I'm respected in my role.
I dress for my age but style is nice. Few grey hairs and smile lines but overall not too bad.

I have been going to gym and weightlifting as my weight isn't great but loving it.
Kids and husband cause me stress but do t require the level of care they used to.

I've gone downhill since passing 40 🤗. I've noticed it amongst friends too. In thirties, there wasn't much difference from twenties, but the aging process has defo accelerated post 40. I've decided to embrace my descent. I don't want to be one of those people over 50 who looks like they are fashioned out of candle wax and plastic to retain "youth". I will just be old.

Because it's interesting, and there is literally nothing in what I've posted that could identify me. I name change regularly.

42
Don't drink
Don't smoke
Don't work
Don't exercise because I hate it
Am overweight...face is still young looking, no wrinkles.. the fat pads it out 😂

Delivered a training course this week and learners thought I was late 20’s early 30’s. Work full time covering a large geographical area.

I’m 43. Don’t look bad for my age I don’t think. Sat here in hoodie and tracksuit bottoms lol hair is starting to grey, thank good for a fab hairdresser.

Careers going great, completing a level 5 qualification, kids in or have left university. Only problem is I’m still renting 😫

Nearly 45. Have always dyed my hair blonde but have gone back towards my natural colour and have noticed some greys coming through now. Skin is generally pretty good although I have the start of jowels which I hate. I have very sensitive skin and moved to using cerave last year on a Mumsnet recommendation and it has made a huge difference. I do use some tretonin but only a small amount. I will have a face lift when I can afford it.

I was playing sport at least twice a week but I've injured my ankle. I feel pretty gross at the moment and am about a stone heavier than I'd like to be. I do some weights at home but I generally don't have much time. Tonight is the first (and only) evening that I don't have to go out so I'm sat drinking tea before I clean up after dinner. I am contemplating trying to run later.

I work FT and am really struggling as I was moved to a new office which is totally the wrong direction to my life. I am trying to get another transfer. My job is very stressful and I love it and hate it in equal measure. I was self-employed around DC throughout my late 20's and 30's but restrained and now have a career of sorts. I have 4 DC (10-18). They all play sport to at least a county level so we are constantly running around after them. I also volunteer a lot (around 10 hrs per week at present). I love it but I am permanently knackered and have no time for myself anymore.

Been with DH for 26 years and he's the one for me. Can't imagine being with anyone else. We are financially comfortable although we send 1 dc to private school due to SEN needs and this has put a stretch on our finances.

I name change regularly!

Almost 46 here. I look ok I think. I've lost a stone since Christmas, it was needed. I've only got a few pounds to lose to go back to my pre babies weight (first baby at 37, second at 41).I'm absolutely exhausted all the time. My children are young and I'm a primary school teacher (3 days a week). I don't sleep well m. Periods are regular still. Grey hair on the sides but not really noticeable. Have been thinking about getting highlights to cover the grey. Skin sagging a bit in the middle bottom part of my face. I like quality skincare so spend a bit there (reasonably still though). My partner owns our house, I'm getting very jittery about not having my name on the house. I'm looking at financial advice to help me prepare my financial future, whatever it brings. I want to retrain but that'll cost. I've always wanted to be a writer but finding the time is the biggest hurdle. Life is busy, busy, busy... I try to see my friends. It doesn't happen that often. My partner and I are struggling with our relationship (mostly me though) and it makes me shudder to think how life would work as a single mum with 2 children, one of them autistic. I'm very aware of the fragility of life, especially now I'm on that side of my 40s...

44 and I feel fantastic.
I live alone and I'm in a long term, living apart relationship with a man I adore but absolutely don't depend on. I have a gorgeous little dog.
I love my job, that I've been doing for 24 years (well, it evolved quite a lot obviously). No kids, never been married, by choice. Good enough money to have been able to buy a little flat in Zone 3 SE London in an area that makes people shudder but that I'm very fond of.

Looks wise, I'm pretty happy, I'm 5ft5 and a size 6, long brown hair, layered with short curtain bangs.
My style is quite minimalist parisian (which makes sense since I was born and raised in Paris) and urban / streetwear. My trademark are my glasses, always wear them as I'm shortsighted and never was interested in having lasik.
Never had botox or anything but I've always taken care of my skin, I remember my mum teaching me how to put cream on my face when I was little.

I was most likely prettier when I was younger, but I've never felt so good and "myself".
I'm excited about getting older, and especially about getting older in London, where I feel like women can be middle-aged and "cool".

Also 44 here. Biggest negative is lack of money and cost of living, although I earn more than some of my friends my age I have a lot less to spend as I’m divorced and have 3 kids, 2 are teenagers. I don’t have wrinkles but look my age due to sagging. I’m very pale and am getting jowls and have a saggy belly and boobs, lol. Positives are that my kids are happy and healthy. I also have irregular periods but no other meno symptoms at the moment.

44, size 14, never worn makeup or dyed my hair so not at all bothered about any change of appearance in terms of skin, grey hair etc.
Married, teenage son, work 6-7 days in a manual job, have a mortgage. Generally ok.

46 5 ft 6 size 12/14. I wear light make up and dye my hair. It would be completely grey otherwise. Nails are always done, but a DIY job and dye my eyebrows which I think makes me look younger. I have lines on my forehead but I like them. My face neck and arms are quite skinny so I get away with looking thinner than I am. Two kids one at primary one in secondary. I am quite active. Love my job, WFH mostly. Still fancy the arse off DH. Happy marriage. Good friends. House needs work but we'll get there. Periods still regular but closer together if that makes sense? Gone from a 36 day cycle to a 24 day one....must be the start of something....

46, 5 foot six weigh roughly 9 stone 12. Around 3 stone slimmer than in my twenties and thirties. Exercise 6 ish times a week, weights cardio and spin classes.
used to look young for my age but lost my mum recently which has taken a lot from me. Lost mum quite suddenly and traumatically. I am no where near to feeling normal. Attractive ish, dress quite young, Levi’s, dms etc.
work 3 days a week in admin xx

(Sorry if I’m invading your space)

Weird to read this insight into alternate life.

Im 43, born female, transitioned to male at 20.

Slightly bald, 5’6, stubble as I need to shave. Just under 14stone. Have been slimmer and fitter, but my body does what I need it to do. I can run a bit, swim, walk the dog. I can easily work in the garden all day and grow most of our food.

I know many on mumsnet would stop class me as a woman. But been on testosterone for over half my life. I’ve been treated as a man by society since I was 21. I don’t feel my experiences of life and my body are anything like a woman’s.

The world sees me as a middle aged man. Which is amazing. I get taken seriously without being attractive.

I’m doing well at work and have had a much smoother career than women my age who have had children. My wife was able to give up work last year. We moved when I got promoted, and she could take early retirement.

I never feel scared for my personal safety. I often go walking or jogging at night. I get changed in communal men’s changing rooms and never feel unsafe. I’ve never been sexually harassed, assaulted or catcalled. I’ve never felt physically threatened by a man.

Ive been married 15 years. No children of our own. Obviously. My wife couldn’t conceive either. I wanted to adopt. She didn’t.

At 31 I was hit by an overwhelming pain of childlessness. Nearly managed to ruin my marriage. I even began to think of that day, when I was 23 when I ecstatically had my hysterectomy, and start thinking ‘what if…’.

Fortunately the desire for children was cured by getting a dog.

Looking back? Do I wish I hadn’t transitioned. No… well
not really. I do wish I tried harder to live as female. I wish I’d found a way not to. Would I go back?? No, never.

What would have happened if I hadn’t transitioned? I wouldn’t have married by wife, who is straight, so not into women.

I did seem to get quite a lot of luck with lesbians, so would probably have met someone. Even if single I’d probably have tried to had a baby about 10 years ago.

@InterFactual I can assure you I’m just a regular, normal poster who name changes, been on for years. I’m not looking for anyones information, what would I have got anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ Who has Botox and who doesn’t wear make up?

Nearly 45. Feel decidedly worse than 5 years ago, less energy, less focus, more brain fog, just sort of existentially tired. Hard to know how much that's the Covid years, how much my own life, parental deaths etc, and how much it's ageing.

Interesting to read about the ubiquity of Botox. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. Naturally thin (5'9'' bit under 9 stone) but wonder if I should make some effort to gain weight and muscle now. Quite flabby. Some grey hairs. Cover them irregularly with those temporary sticks or box dye. Not great skin. Don't think in peri quite yet but it's possible: periods still 30 days apart but heavier than they used to be, and worse cramps. Still don't get hangovers unless I drink a lot! But can't drink coffee any more or my sleep is appalling.

I’m 48 and feel great at this age, having teens has allowed me a lot more time to Re engage with my career after working PT and also to focus on staying healthy. I don’t weigh myself but manage to stay at a weight I like by generally eating well, avoiding sugar (it makes me feel like crap) and exercise. I have always been active but got stuck in a rut of thinking I had to run/do cardio to stay healthy which I hated and did very little for my body. Instead I now do yoga and lift weights and have built some muscle and feel much better than I did when I ran. Yoga had also been great for my mental health and keeping me calmer and able to cope with stress.
I also became a morning person in my mid 40s which has made a big difference to me to too, I get up early even on weekends and feel more energized overall if I am up at 6 and in bed early.
I still care about my appearance and love clothes and since I am in the office 4-5 days a week I still dress up a bit even if it is jeans, trainers and a blazer. I work in the beauty industry so have access to a lot of skincare products but really just swear by using vitamin c in the am, sunscreen and a retinol at night. I do get a bit of Botox in my forehead too. I wear makeup but have toned it down a lot, stick to creams over powders and no heavy eye makeup. Thankfully the beauty world has so many makeup lines that cater to middle aged women now so it is east to find a few good products to enhance what you have naturally.

I love being this age because I no longer care what people think, that is very freeing.
letting go of all the expectations and burdens to be a perfect parent, housewife, employee etc has made a world of difference to how I face each day.

47 (nearly). 3 kids, one 30 tomorrow (eek), one 19 at Uni, and youngest 15. I have a good job, earn over 60k a year but still don’t own my own house due to living in the South east and being single. Waiting now for youngest to go to Uni and will move back up north. Fairly happy, lots of friends, mix of old school pals back home, work friends and local friends. I have a good social life now my kids don’t need babysitters. Live near london so love enjoying all the capital has to offer. Lots of grey hair, my neck looks saggy and I’m thinking of having some Botox!! Weight isn’t bad, in a health weight but trying to lose a stone, 6lbs down. Sleep terrible, only sign of being peri so far

I’m a morning person too now, and it does make a massive difference. I couldn’t ever go back to lying in

45. Mid length greying brown hair that I can't afford to get coloured. Live in a humid country so live in shorts and vests. I'm tall but a size 20/22 so am too heavy and have a big belly. Skins ok as have a good skin routine and have been blessed with good skin thankfully but am string to get a few wrinkles around my eyes. When I do go out of the house I wear fitted shirt dresses , linen trousers and a top or cropped trousers and a nice top. I used to be quite glamorous when I was younger , but I just want to be comfortable now

Don't wear make up , don't smoke (anymore ) apart from the very occasional shisha and don't drink much now. I feel I look my age.

Hi there,

I’m 43. 5 ft 9” and 10 stone so quite slim. I get Botox and fillers and profhilo and use tretonin. I’m probably going grey but I’ve silver blonde hair which I dye so I can kid myself I’m not. I wear make-up every day. I do still feel attractive as I age - I think older women grow into your beauty and your face takes on a different character. You also see the positive impact of diet, exercise and sleep on your health in a way you don’t when younger.

I live alone and am childless. I’ve never wanted children but I have questioned myself as I (presumably) near the end of my fertility. My periods are very regular but I do feel more mood instability associated with my cycle and more anxiety now I’m over 40.

I am permanently home-based in a very fulfilling technical role. I’m comfortably off but live very frugally and hoping to semi-retire around 50. I’ve got hobbies that im passionate about and I do charity work and spend time with my elderly parents and nieces and nephews.

Im aware some people would consider my life a bit boring but to me it’s very a peaceful & soothing life. I’m quite solitary by nature and love time alone to self-regulate (part of the reason I don’t think I’d have been a good mother).

I am a bit worried about the menopause in terms of the mental health challenges. But hopefully HRT will help! Great to read about all the other 40-somethings

I'm finding these weirdly fascinating to read!

I'm 41.

Family:
Married with 3xDD (ages 12, 10, 5). Middle daughter is being assessed for autism so that makes home life quite fraught a lot of the time. DH and I are complete opposites but he is my best friend. Some slight clashes (usually over parenting style) but generally very happy with him.
My parents are around and in good health but live 3hrs away. In-laws are lovely but also live 3hrs away (in the opposite direction!) and FIL starts chemo today which is hard for everyone. Difficult knowing how to support them from so far away.
My sister lives near my parents with her DH and 2 DC. We get on really well but she is married to an absolute plonker so that makes things a bit strained.

Home:
Live in a large(ish) house that we extended during lockdown, but it's in a crap area on the outskirts of a city. House backs onto the countryside which is nice but we only have one scabby row of shops nearby and quite a bit of crime. Kids don't go to the local school so we don't really know many people in close vicinity. I would love to move to a pleasant village one day.

Work:
Used to be a primary school teacher but career-changed into accountancy 2yrs ago, for my sanity and for better career progression. I now work for my dad (remotely), helping to run his business. I'm enjoying the new challenge. DH is however very unhappy at work - lots of stress over whether he should leave, what he would do instead (he's worked in a very niche area for the past 15 years)...

Friends:
Struggling with this a bit at the moment. Still very good friends with people I lived with at uni but they're spread out all over the country and don't see them nearly enough. I'm coming to the realisation that lots of local 'friends' see us more as sort-of colleagues than friends (due to DH's weird job) and we often don't get invited to social stuff. I feel like an outsider a lot of the time.

Health:
11st 4lb which is too heavy for me. Ideally I would be 10st but finding it difficult to shift since I switched from teaching to a desk job. I do go to the gym at least once a week. Currently being assessed for ADHD but otherwise my health is good. DH has lots of stomach and eye problems though which makes things hard as we can't really eat out etc. (and he used to love his food)

Money:
We have three clear priorities for our money...Giving to charity (10% of our income), private school for our 12yo (and probably the others too when they get to secondary age), and a house that is large enough to accommodate us comfortably. We go without in other areas to prioritise these... Hardly ever go on holiday, don't send the kids to after-school activities and holiday clubs, very low expenditure on clothes and leisure etc.

Looks:
Apart from wanting to shift a bit of weight, I'm happy with how I look. No grey hair. I look younger than my age. A lot of people are genuinely shocked to discover I have a 12yo. I wear a bit of make-up and moisturise daily but that's it. Terrible at keeping my nails nice. Never really been bothered with it all.