If you’re mid 40’s

[Lastdaysofsun]

What do you look like? What is your life like? If you’re 40’s

I’m 45, long dark hair, pretty basic style, jeans, converse, denim shorts (am I too old for this?)
Recent signs of ageing, laughter lines and puffy under eyes (hate this!) forehead still quite unlined, it’s my eyes mainly. No Botox yet.
6 or so strands of grey hair that pop up, I cover that with one of those L’Oréal wand
things.
Couple of stone overweight, this and my eyes are my main ageing issues.
I work part time, have a young daughter, see friends for play dates and the occasional drink/dinner out.
Exercise is walking my dog and sea swimming, I need to do more.
Only got more seriously into skin care a few years ago, which I know is terrible. Cleanse & Vitamin C in the morning, cleanse, collagen oil, wrinkle filler, eye cream and Tretinoin at night.
Barely drink these days, smoked socially years ago, still getting periods but only every couple of months, so I’m guessing I’m peri. Not massively happy in marriage, but adore my dc, friends and have a nice job/lifestyle

Curious to know about others of a similar age?

I'm 45. Married 15 years, two kids, one at secondary school, one primary. 1 part time job and 2 freelance, all very flexible and quite creative.

I have lots of dark curly hair, which just a few strands of grey that I leave to do their thing. Good skin and teeth, terrible eyesight which is getting worse. I have 11s and laughter lines round my eyes. My skincare is very basic - moisturise twice a day, use an SPF, remove make up with the Body Shop Camomile cleansing balm and drink at least 4 pints of water a day. I'm generally assumed to be younger than I am - but late 30s, not decades younger!

At 40 I was a couple of stone overweight, made a concerted effort to lose it and have kept it off, so I'm a healthy weight and I like my figure. I love any excuse to dress up, but don't get many, so a typical outfit is jeans and trainers with either a silk shirt or a cashmere jumper (I'm fussy about fabric, tend to buy most of my clothes secondhand though so not too expensive).

I'm peri, and started HRT a couple of months ago, and have noticed a massive improvement in my mood and energy levels. I have quite a lot of friends, but only a couple of close ones, and they're sadly not local.

We live in a small but cosy house and are aiming to have paid off the mortgage before DD starts university, so we can help her more. My mum is local, reasonably young and fit, and a very loving and hands-on grandma (she's a single mum, I've never met my dad). DH's parents are older and starting to have some health issues, but still independent - just as well as they're quite far away.

We have a cat and a dog, enough money to cover the basics plus a few treats, DH and I are happy together, kids are happy, everyone's in good health and we laugh a lot together. I feel very blessed - and on the days when I don't, I give myself a talking to and remind myself of how fortunate I am.

Wow, really surprised at how many people are mentioning botox! I assumed it was only something a tiny minority of women bothered with but now wondering if all my friends and colleagues have had it without me realising.

Mid 40’s.
5ft 8, 60 kg. Dark ( dyed hair, too many greys)
one child at uni one just about to go.
Divorced, living with new partner for past 5 years.
Working 60 hour weeks to sort finances out post divorce but plan to semi retire at 50 and be mortgage free.
Super fit as it’s my sanity saver.
overall very happy but knackered 🤣
dress sense, loving an elasticated waist and a fondness for marks and Spencer’s ( do defo middle aged)

41. Short grey/blonde hair. 5'4 size 10. I like clothes and make up but I don't spend a lot on treatments. No Botox or filler.

Married with two primary aged kids. Work part time in a job I like ( but hard to strike a balance with my working hours). Don't exercise but should.

I'm 45, 5ft2 and I'm 3 stone overweight. It doesn't massively bother me because I've been overweight since having my youngest dd 17 years ago. I've recently lost 3 stone after going gluten free (after my sister was diagnosed with coeliac and my symptoms matched hers) and cutting out bread completely. Still trying to lose weight but I'm not too bothered if I don't.

I probably look early 40s. Have (dyed) dark brown curly hair that's been in terrible condition since I had my youngest. I started going grey in my late 20s, I now dye my roots every 2 weeks. I have a few wrinkles, mainly on my hands. Don't wear makeup very often, and live in jeans and trainers. My only exercise is walking the dog.

Currently going through peri and I started HRT 6 months ago. I take so many vitamins I'd probably rattle if shook. (Think Samantha in SATC 2). Very happily married, 2 dds (20 and 17) and a 31 year old DSD and 1 year old (step) granddaughter. I spend most of my time reading.

Botox/fillers have never interested me, one of the things I loved since turning 40 was how little I now care about how I look or what other people think.

I'm 44.
5ft3, size 12. Half a stone overweight. Long black hair, a few strands of grey. No exercise though I'm active with dcs aged 1 and 5, and walk a lot as I don't drive. Hypothyroid, treated with thyroxine and no other health issues. Rarely drink and have never smoked. Regular periods, no sign of perimenopause.
I don't spend much time or money on beauty treatments and I do look older for it. I don't have much child-free time at the moment but I'll look into getting treatments eg Botox when dc2 starts preschool next year. I wear makeup daily and I cleanse and moisturise in the morning but I've been too lazy to do it at night.

Sahm and wear jeans and long sleeved tops, or a blouse if I want to look smart.
Happily married for 10 years. Life revolves around our family and taking dcs out to fun activities all over London. Don't see friends much. Financially we're fine, we have lots of assets and a high income so I don't plan to return to work.

44

1 child age 3. Work part time - just increased my hours a little actually now DD is in school nursery. Used to teach, fell into a career change after DD which I felt would be temporary but now I’m not sure.

Happy marriage - only married 3.5 years together about 8.

Parents dead. In laws are nice enough. Other than that have a fantastic and close extended family and some really good friends.

5ft 7 Size 16/18 but weight coming off - feel like I’ve finally healed my relationship with food and started enjoying exercise - took my long enough

I know everyone says this but I am fairly regularly told I look younger and people tend to assume around 36/37 - of course they could well just be being kind! I’m sure if I posted a photo the more robust mumsnetters would be lining up to tell me I look 67 at least. I definitely feel I look older since having DD.

No surgery or botox/ aesthetics yet - I toy with the idea of tear trough fillers quite regularly but I’m not sure they’d make much difference to my dark circles really (have always had them, not just an age thing).

Tiny house but mortgage free. We need to move but keep putting it off.

My life is basically nursery runs, bit of exercise where I can (couch to 5k, a yoga class, YouTube videos and some swimming, nothing too intense), work, running round after DD. I’m really loving being a mum after thinking it wasn’t going to happen for me. Have Fridays off with DD and either meet friends for playdates, take her to an activity or class, or visit family.

Try to arrange a night out or even away with friends here and there, the odd ‘date’ with DH and lots of family days out and just the usual park trips etc. Doesn’t sound wildly exciting but I’m fairly content with my lot.

My biggest issue aging wise is that I’m overweight- I’d always been slim but since 2020 I’ve got more and more overweight and I find it depressing - but not enough to lose the weight!

I also don’t get enough sleep due to a skin condition and general problems shutting down which also makes me very unhappy

Actually will say about me - am 48 and just recently did the fastest parkrun I've done since my first one nearly 12 years ago. Am really enjoying my running at the moment (am still not fast but faster than I have been).

Hair is probably totally grey by now - have been dying it for years (around 10 maybe) as I prefer it not being grey.

Have been taking HRT for 2 and a bit years - after my general anxiety ramped up and I started having sleep issues and night sweats I starting using oestrogen gel (have a coil anyway). Has helped a lot.

Had put on weight and during 2020 lost about 15-20kg. Put some back on and have now lost most of that again.

Have a 19 year old and an 18 year old. Older one has just started university which still feels a bit odd but am getting better about it now. Younger one in year 13 so have it all to do again soon.

Marriage is OK; some issues there but this probably isn't unusual.

Parents in their mid 70s and both fine at the moment. My sister lives much nearer them but at the moment they do some babysitting of her two DC and don't need too much helping themselves.

Clothes wise I like bright colourful clothes and wear them happily. Generally dresses although also some jumpsuits. My running clothes also bright and cheerful - there I wear skorts.

No surgery etc. I don't even do makeup although will do some for DSS's wedding in a few weeks time.

Job is fine - pays pretty good amount and I work from home although if I won the lottery I would definitely stop working! Many years left on the mortgage for a combination of factors.

I'm 45, divorced with two secondary aged children. I'm still a healthy BMI, but would like to lose at least a stone and exercise more. I carry all my weight on my belly area, but being tall, this is easier to disguise.

I've had to start again after divorce at 43, so won't be able to retire until my late 60's. I'm single and don't see this changing any time soon.

I do have Botox, and I look so much better for it and often get told I look in my 30's. I have highlights, but am starting to go grey and I do where make-up for work or going out. I love a pedicure, even in the winter when no one sees my feet. It makes me happy. Style wise I go from hippy chick to punk chick to everything in between. I hate jeans, they are so uncomfortable.

45

Married, DD who is 4. Have a horse and a busy job so often stressed and rushed. In midst of house renovations and completely out of cash. Only socialising is things for DD as can’t afford anything else. Don’t mind though, we are homebodies and live in a beautiful rural cottage in a great area. I’m happiest at home.

Definitely a couple of stone heavier than I should be, weight all in the middle. Periods regular and no sign of peri yet. Hormone tests last year said I could probably conceive again if I wanted (we don’t). It’s not that long since I was breastfeeding though. Went grey a long time ago so have had my grey covered up with my natural brown for over a decade.

A few lines but nothing major, still look younger than I am (always have-most people put me at mid-late 30’s). Would never, ever have botox or anything like that. It’s for twats.

Have had issues with long Covid and persistent viruses all year so feel a bit shit overall. I lack energy and motivation. Need to
eat better but we are on a budget and I like wine so….

DH has had bereavement and stress this year, it’s been tough. It’s not been our finest year. But otherwise life is ok. We are luckier than most.

42. 5 feet 9, about 4 stone overweight, don't care because I like my body how it looks now, having lost 3 stone this year. White hair, went grey at 17. Stopped dyeing it a couple of years ago. Wear dresses and leggings. Single and couldn't give less of a fuck about finding another relationship. One daughter. A dog. Live in a council flat, work in care. I love my life, it's very beautiful, and I love being me.

I'm 46. I look OK for my age - small build, fairly slim (but getting a bit more 'solid' as I age), do lots of strength training so I have good definition, apart from around the middle (having 13lb of twins when you're under 8 stone will do that to you, so I try to see it as a badge of honour!).

I dye my hair, which would otherwise be mousy-grey, but otherwise I don't make a lot of effort. WFH, so live in jeans, stripy tops and converse.

Happily married. Four teenage kids, mostly doing OK, though one is either in a full-on teenage hormonal phase or is autistic, or maybe both, and is finding life hard at the moment.

Nice friends, close to siblings and sibling-in-laws, parents mostly doing OK, but definitely starting to slow down.

We inherited some money a couple of years ago, which wasn't giving-up-work-life-changing, but does mean that basically we don't need to worry. We're trying to save it to help set the kids up, but we can do stuff like a new car or a new boiler or expensive school trips without worrying. Will have cleared mortgage by the time first kid starts university next year.

Sad at the moment because our dog has just died, but generally I am happy, and lucky.

I'm 44. I wear a lot of vintage clothes from 50s, 60s and 80s. I also have an executive role so dress quite professionally within the vintage style. I'm naturally blond but I've been dying my hair dark since my early 20s so I have no clue if I have any greys. The age on my face is dark shadows under my eyes.

I don't follow rules about age.

If I like it, I like it. That means clothes, music, and socializing (though I don't do clubs anymore).

Is there supposed to be rules?

Really interesting to read, thanks everyone

Interesting many of a similar age not having irregular periods as I am, I don’t have any other symptoms, no hot flushes etc, so not sure what’s going on there.

I rarely wear make up these days, only if going out/meeting friends and then it’s just tinted moisturiser, mascara and eyebrows done

House wise, we have a small ish mortgage left-£100 grand to pay and are ok ish financially but no big holidays abroad since we had Dd, she has a lovely life though

46, everyone says I look young for my age, I disagree. No skin care routine, I might use a bit of moisturiser if I remember in the winter. My skin is fussy about products so I have to be a bit careful. Sprinkling of grey hairs.

Need to lose weight, but have no time to exercise, and have fallen in the trap of eating unhealthy food because I'm exhausted all the time due to late nights/poor sleep/disturbed sleep.

Peri menopausal, which is not fun.

I do mostly enjoy my job though.

I'm 44, dress like a slob, no skin care routine whatsoever, don't wear makeup. Work full time in a stressful job for not a great deal of money, have 2 grown up DC and a small one. Like wine more than I should. Exercise is walking, sea swimming and as much sex as I can get. Have a couple of chronic health conditions which are not helped by the fact I need to lose 4 stone.

Working on the weight loss/health and job. Quite happy with the rest.

Just turned 50, still got my natural hair colour, a couple of stone overweight but loving life after kids are grown (hence weight!)

44 years old. Never married, partner of 25 ish years and we have two teenagers - aged 19 and almost 16. Happy in our relationship. Not overweight although have to watch what I eat now, I miss my twenties and thirties when I just didn’t carry weight. I should join a gym really. I make sure I walk more than 10k a day. No grey hair.
Hair extensions and botox -yes, fake eyelashes and nails- no. Happy in my career most of the time. Small mortgage due to be paid off early 50’s. Plan to take semi- retire at 60.

I'm mid 30s and have many more greys than you!
I recommend Botox btw x

Im 45, 5ft 4 and about a stone overweight. Tend to carry it in my boobs and legs though so I don’t care outside of swimwear season.

Blonde hair which is a bit grey but I have highlighted so it blends anyway. Have Botox every 3 months in frown lines and forehead but the mild fatness has kept the worst lines at bay. I used to be more “into” my looks but have been shaken this year by a close friend dealing with breast cancer and this has totally changed my outlook to health and how I look.

Happily married for 20 years, two boys of 10 and 13. Work is flexible as DH and I run our own business which is mainly good but can be very stressful and basically means that we always work and never stop thinking about it - BUT we can do that stressing and worrying from anywhere so we do travel regularly and stress from a pretty place.

I’m 44 in a few weeks.

I’m in the best shape of my life having got seriously into yoga and giving up alcohol and smoking about six months ago. I’m short and slim with short hair and skin I really don’t deserve.

Happily married, three dc, 21, 19 and 12. 21 is away at Uni and not planning to come home; has a job lined up for afterwards and rents a flat with his GF. 19 is working full time and mainly stays at her BFs so we see her when she needs her washing done. 12 has just started secondary so I do feel on the cusp of empty nesting and a bit sad about it.

I manage a busy cafe so my job is physically demanding (I love it though). We have an enormous mortgage that won’t be gone until we’re 70 but we won’t stay in this (biggish) house more than a few more years. Plan is to move somewhere coastal and be mortgage free , I’ll teach yoga and DH can teach music and we can potter into old age together.

I think this is my favourite decade so far in a lot of ways.

44, overweight been yoyo dieting for 30 years. I feel like I've only looked my age this last year. My eyes just look smaller and heavier. Long brown hair, no grey hairs yet 🙏
Happily married with children and a dog. Don't like going 'out out' drinking anymore, standing round bars. But will drink on the odd night out, prefer going on nights out with DH for meals, shows and concerts etc.
Feel a confidence and acceptance of myself since turning 40. I am who I am. I like what I like and I don't feel pressured to say "Yes" to things I don't want to do (much)

I'm 43 and fat and scruffy! My dc are tweens, and absolutely delightful. I'm a senior nurse and a trauma therapist, and work is incredibly stressful, to the point it's making me ill. But, it's balanced a bit by having a lovely dp who pulls his weight round the house and the dc being pretty easy going. I do, however, live for my holidays.

Why have there been quite a few threads like this lately where people are encouraged to reveal too much identifying information about themselves? There was one asking for in depth descriptions of what jobs people do and another asking about the area you live in.

Why do people take the bait and do it?

Has everyone lost sight of basic internet security these days?