To think any parent would do the same? Or am I bonkers

[Doritosandsourcream]

On holiday in the buffet eating dinner all I could hear was my son crying walking from the bar with his juice in his hand. I thought oh maybe he fell over so DH went over to him. Turns out that this little girl that has been picking on him for the past 2 days her dad has grabbed DS and twisted arm so tight he broke his skin and dug his nails into him. (German family)

DS has been coming to me about her saying she keeps pushing him and sticking her fingers up since they arrived. DS finally got annoyed and pushed her back earlier on in the day and she told her dad. So dad got his own back on DS.

I ran over to DH as he was shouting at the dad and the dad was just smirking and something just came over me and I punched him in the face.

Never in my life have I punched anyone and I didn’t think about the consequences at the time I just kept looking at my son he was in flood of tears.

It was the weirdest feeling I have never felt adrenaline like it.

aibu? How would you have handled it? The hotel did absolutely nothing.

Imagine, if you can, a book. A character is introduced. Some snippets of information about the character is revealed. Their height, their occupation, perhaps their nationality. No! shrieks the Mumsnetter, I shall read no further! This isn't relevant information!

My German is admittedly fairly "mid" although I've been on Duolingo for a few years. I don't expect to be able to travel to a foreign country and everyone speak my language if that's what you inferred. I am just saying the average Brit and the average German attempting to talk to each other would not go down as well as you seem to expect.
So there's a language barrier. Not that it matters if someone had drawn blood on my six year olds arm my instinct would probably be the same as the ops. F trying to "talk it out"

I work with Germans and Dutch. Everyone pretty much speaks all three languages, English being the third. When tempers flair, no-one understands anyone else terribly well and nothing gets resolved until they've all calmed down.

I do totally agree with your comment about not intervening sooner though. The child is six so I can't see how someone didn't notice what was going on.

This is why I will never go on a package holiday.

Did ye, aye?

My husband would have punched him before i got a chance to. Don’t condone violence but i’ve always told my kids hit back - they can’t in that situation so you do it for them. I’d probably have slapped rather than punched him though or just generally dug my nails into his arm

@Mikimoto

its not really anyone else’s business why they have chosen to take a holiday at this time. Maybe it’s the only time the parents could get off work together.

I've been told German children are not brought up to share, that may have caused friction with your child but that should have been dealt with sooner.

Children in all countries are taught not to share (and also to share - depends on the parents). We've had to stop going for play dates with a friend because she doesn't think there should be an expectation that her child shares (resulting in the child hoarding toys or items and not letting anyone else get a look in), whereas I promote collaborative play and turn taking because I personally think this is more realistic when they're in school. This is entirely based on parental values, not country.

These two things cause upset between the children hence the play dates are on pause.

Not the way you should handle it obviously but ….

I betcha he won’t do it again.

Its not a 'random stranger' though. It's a man who assaulted her child. Of course she did the right thing.

Again. Missing the point.

The reason this information was introduced was to infer that Germans are violent to children because "culture". And it has led to an interesting side issue.

I do think that people who let their DS report to them for 2 days that another kid has been bothering them, and has done nothing to stop or investigate it is being daft.

My thoughts exactly.

"Over here we'd talk to the other parents". Except for this case, when your cultural behaviour actually led you to punching a stranger in the face.

Warum

Why would she be screaming at him though?

Because, I think, on MN you go straight from a standing start to screaming, without, for example, asking in an angry voice what happened or why someone did that and making it plain it's unacceptable.

I think some people think that the more strongly they say they'd react - thumping someone; kicking them in the balls; giving someone a smack; immediately screaming - shows that they love their child more than anyone else loves their children.
I don't agree and know I can be extremely fierce on behalf of my children, but my first language is verbal not physical.

If an adult had assulted my young child I'm afraid my primal instincts would have taken over and I'd have punched the fucker too.

Which country was this (and which hotel)?

@Brefugee
I live in Scotland and had an older German lady speak German to me in Scotland - I was slightly shocked because that doesn't normally happen. She was part of a group of large tourists. I don't know if she thought I was part of the group and/or also German, she just didn't remember to change language or she maybe didn't speak English. She was smiling and what she said was polite, so it was all good. Is it not accurate that some older Germans, especially ones from the DDR, maybe didn't learn so much English as younger Germans or those from 'the West'? This is what I've been told by a few folk.

Well, from everything we've read here, it does give you a good idea of the sort of people who unlawfully remove their children from state eduction during term time.

Yes hubby said he was going to but he said I came out of nowhere before he had the chance! It was the smirking and telling me to sssh that sent me. The man was absolutely vile.

Should you have punched him, probably not.

would I have possibly done the same for an adult physically hurting my child. Absolutely.

Who hurts a child? What a fucking lunatic.

Not really, would you rather pay 3k or 5.5k? Taking kids out of school doesn’t mean your a scruff.

Can I recommend Seedlang as a better app - there's a free and paid version.

Duolingo has it's limitations, and is a bit too focused on bears doing yoga and the like ...

I witness very little Neanderthal behaviour in the real world. I doubt it’s 90%.

haha. No. Not my experience of being in UK at all with my DCs

My DCs are big now but i sometimes have a coffee in the park with my mum. I see argy bargy, kids pushing in to use the swings when others have been waiting etc and the parents do nothing. They don't even make eye contact let alone speak to the other parent.

I just don't think 2 grown men shouting at each other requires another woman to start screaming and another one to start throwing punches. Nobody comes out of this well, tbh.

But all the description of smirking is just - meh.

Well played OP!!

Who gives a fuck about classy when a grown bloke has assaulted your child? Weird, weird comment.

@Brefugee Yes but the OP only said that once she was barracked into giving a response to why she'd mentioned the man was German when saying 'a German man' was a completely normal way to tell this story. No doubt he will be recounting the tale of the mad English woman on Vatinet.