To think any parent would do the same? Or am I bonkers

[Doritosandsourcream]

On holiday in the buffet eating dinner all I could hear was my son crying walking from the bar with his juice in his hand. I thought oh maybe he fell over so DH went over to him. Turns out that this little girl that has been picking on him for the past 2 days her dad has grabbed DS and twisted arm so tight he broke his skin and dug his nails into him. (German family)

DS has been coming to me about her saying she keeps pushing him and sticking her fingers up since they arrived. DS finally got annoyed and pushed her back earlier on in the day and she told her dad. So dad got his own back on DS.

I ran over to DH as he was shouting at the dad and the dad was just smirking and something just came over me and I punched him in the face.

Never in my life have I punched anyone and I didn’t think about the consequences at the time I just kept looking at my son he was in flood of tears.

It was the weirdest feeling I have never felt adrenaline like it.

aibu? How would you have handled it? The hotel did absolutely nothing.

Exactly this - and if the hotel were reluctant I'd call the police myself

If the child was assaulted by the (German) man - OP has not clarified whether she actually witnessed this. All we know is that the German child and her child appeared not to get on (she is blaming the German girl, again we don't know who started it, who was actually worse in the scenario), and that the parents (eventually) got involved, one definitely physically (her). Had she been more hands on with a 6 year old (or someone else in her family had also been more involved) and intervened earlier most/all of this could have been avoided. As someone back there said, it's almost like a new plot for Benidorm, the way it currently reads, although I expect we couldn't be that openly anti-any other European nation these days, and rightly so.

They all sound as bad as each other. On holiday at a place where all the roughnecks go. What do you expect

Best mumsnet response!

Honestly we all know that punching him is probably not the best way to handle things… but yes I absolutely would have lamped him one too.

And I disagree that teaching your kids to stick up for themselves is wrong. I slapped a girl at school who had been relentlessly picking on me when I was a kid, and when my parents found out they took me out for pizza to celebrate. Am I now a hardened criminal with a string of GBH convictions behind me? No, I’m a sensible law abiding professional who will not be bullied.

Can’t believe there are actually parents who are more worried about looking “classy” than protecting their child.

I'm sorry op, but no I would not have punched someone in the face who did this to my child. I would have got myself and the child away from the situation and looked after the child.

And furthermore, I would not allow a 6yo to go to a buffet without an adult anyway. Not particularly for the reason of scrapping with other children, more for hygiene/appropriate food/general supervision and care of child in a foreign country.

Good on you!

Read again, please. I said the man, if he did this, 'needed dealing with, non-physically, by the hotel staff'. Had I found myself in this rather unlikely situation, I would have involved the hotel staff, and spoken (spoken! Using words, not fists!) calmly to the man myself if required. Then, depending on how that conversation went, possibly taken it further (police, for example). That doesn't sound like 'allow[ing] [my] child to be assaulted' to me. Or is only physical retaliation not 'allow[ing]' it?

Has he been arrested?

Where were you and DH when this was happening and when the bullying was going on for 2 days?

I voted YABU becuase you should have done soemthing about it at this point:

DS has been coming to me about her saying she keeps pushing him and sticking her fingers up since they arrived.

@Doritosandsourcream

Frankly I don't blame you!!

i don't think I'd be able to do it, because even with the adrenalin running I know I'm ineffective at punching.

try to ignore the shitty posts! Of course a 6 year old can go & get his own juice in a hotel buffet.

it's a shame you didn't try to talk to them in the days before, but it is what it is.

in the U.K. (so not right before a flight home & somewhere I don't speak the language) I'd have taken his photo & called the police.

ex DP would have picked DS up & walked away.

Current DP would have floored him before he'd drawn breath.

I cannot believe there are people taking this story, with all it's gaps and assertions, as remotely accurate regarding what really happened.

For all we know the other family hadn’t seen their daughter’s (alleged) bad behaviour and their first encounter with your son was seeing him push their daughter. German Dad then tries to restrain your son, probahly using slightly too much force (and with nails that presumably needed cutting).
You then starting screaming in his face - which he can’t understand - because the whole world isn’t fluent in English especially when it’s being shouted angrily - and so he just looks bemused and embarrassed but the whole thing “smug face”). And then you wallop him the face.

So that may well be their version of events.

Obviiuslt an adult hurting a child, even accidentally isn’t right. And of course smacking someone in the face isn’t right. So yes your behaviour was totally out of line.

My husband would currently be in a foreign jail cell because there would have been no need to exchange words. If anyone ever dared to do that to my child they would be very, very sorry.

@AutumnWellyBootsandScarf 'ignore the shitty posts'.....ok then. 🤔

I'm shocked that 54% of voters think YANBU. Jesus, what a world we live in where violence is the answer.

From a PP:

'Current DP would have floored him before he'd drawn breath.'

This pride of women in their thuggish husbands and partners is quite disconcerting to see.

Correct - most people don't attack children. Such behaviour is very rare.

But given the occurrence of such an attack, the vast majority of decent parents would have their child's back.

Virtue-signalling mumsnetters are not representative.

'Chinese Burn'........ Care to expand on this OP?

I agree.
I also wouldn't base my parenting on trying to gain the "respect" of some random MNer (who doesn't sound like they'd earn my respect either).
Maybe some of the people advocating thumping someone in these circumstances are keen to be seen as "hard" without necessarily thinking about what's the best thing in the circumstances.

It’s abysmal. Some real tramps out there

So, even if you hadn't witnessed over 75% of what happened, and done nothing earlier on to intervene/supervise your child, you still think it's ok to randomly thump a person (of a nationality you don't like)?

OMG! No one said it was. Talk about having a chip on your shoulder!

@Ahjaysus23

& what do you suppose the police are going to do about an Englishwoman hitting a bloke in a hotel & since having returned to the U.K.?

@Doritosandsourcream I presume you took photos of DS's arm??