Not to pay for a funeral until it’s actually happenec

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I lost a close family member recently and the funeral is soon, the funeral directors have been very helpful but I didn’t expect to be billed before there’d actually been a funeral. Is this usual? I feel a bit mean not paying but what if something goes wrong or we aren’t happy with something?

How do they know you'll pay if you don't pay until after the funeral?

It's ripe for people to have the service and then start claiming they're not responsible for paying, X or Y should be.

From my knowledge of funeral directors (I do the accounts for 3 such companies) and of having used them for late-DHs funeral, that's fairly unusual in my area.
Do they anticipate the family not being able to pay?

You'll need to at least pay for disbursements. It wouldn't be unusual for them to cancel if they haven't received at least that. It's basically a deposit.

Sorry to hear of your family members passing. My dm died last year and we paid half and then as the dust settled after her burial they sent the final bill a few weeks later.

I suppose from their point of view, what if they carry out the funeral and then you decide not to pay? I imagine lots of families disagree after the event as to who should pay what. Or order a more expensive funeral than they can really afford.

I had to pay upfront for my father’s funeral recently. I was a bit surprised as everything I read said they’d send the invoice so funds could be released from his bank account / other assets, but perhaps they’ve had people not paying or where the estate couldn’t cover the costs.

Totally normal.

Otherwise surely people would have the funeral and then refuse to send payment.

If something goes wrong then you discuss it with the funeral directors afterwards but paying upfront is very normal in these situations e.g funerals and weddings.

@TheCupboardUnderTheStairsAtTheMojoDojoCasaHouse You must have the longest username of all time!

That surprises me. A family member works in the funeral trade, has worked for three different companies and a deposit would always be required.

When my mother passed away I had to pay up front for the things that the funeral home had to pay for upfront: the makeup artist, the flowers, opening the grave. I had 30 days after the service to pay for things that they didn't have to pay for upfront like the embalming the casket and that sort of thing.

Sorry for your loss 💐

Totally normal. I lost both parents in the last 18 months and both funerals had to be paid up front.

A solicitor would usually agree that it would be coming out of the estate, this can be tricky due to probate. A deposit would be required still.

If they are asking for payment beforehand then you have to pay beforehand surely thats their terms and conditions?

If you're unhappy with anything you can always raise it afterwards.

This isn’t my experience. I paid a small deposit for dm’s funeral. The invoice was sent to the probate solicitor to be dealt with by the estate.

Well, most banks will release funds for funeral expenses before probate is granted (and you don’t necessarily need a solicitor - we didn’t use one). I was expecting to need to pay some kind of deposit, just not the whole thing.

Gosh. We didn't pay a penny for my Dad's funeral until a couple of weeks after the funeral. They must be very trusting there.

I mean more if a house sale is required etc. There maybe no funds to actually release. If there is money available that can be released, that's fine.

Sorry for your loss.

The funeral directors I worked for asked for a deposit when I started there and by the time I finished working there they were asking for payment a few days prior to the service as so many people didn't pay.

There's very few things that you don't have to pay upfront for.

Funeral home employee here.
We charge 50% of the Funeral Directors fees plus all of the third party costs as a deposit. The remainder is invoiced after the funeral and needs to be settled within 21 days.
In some instances, we don’t take a deposit if we’re billing a solicitor, or an insurance policy is covering for example. We just need proof of adequate funds to cover, and then we’re happy to wait after the funeral has taken place and the invoice will be paid in full.

They probably develop an instinct with some families who think they should not have to pay in case there's something they're not happy with.

Funerals are distressing enough without quibbling over paying for it OP. I'm sorry for your loss.

Had to pay up front for my nans, and father in laws, different funeral directors used for each.

This

I've unfortunately been involved with a lot of funerals and it's always been paid after.

I've never heard of anyone having to before.

With an event as highly emotionally charged as a funeral, the chances of 'I'm not happy about something' tantrums is very high and they have to cover their backs (I am sure you are a very reasonable family and wouldn't do this, but many do).

Sorry for your loss. I paid some before and some after. If the deceased is being stored (for want of a better word) on their premises there are costs. If they order items such as a casket there are costs there too. Funeral directors are usually long established businesses so I don't think you need to worry that they'll run off with your money. They are right to be more concerned that customers can't pay.

This idea that you don't need to pay if something goes wrong or you aren't entirely happy.
If they provide the service or item then it really needs to be significantly different to what was promised to warrant not paying.

All funeral directors I have dealt with have been extremely professional but I imagine they get people who quibble over tiny or unreasonable things.