I’m 28 with a long-term partner and we have a 4 year old son who is autistic, non verbal, with quite complex needs.
I have been independent since the age of 18 when I moved out as soon as I could due to how unhappy I was with my family. We have our own business so do not rely on them for anything financially, and they do not do anything childcare wise either.
After giving birth I developed quite severe postpartum depression and OCD. I was told for months by my mum not to tell the doctors because I would have my son taken away. I dealt with a lot of hurtful comments throughout this time about being a failure of a mum, my weight, attention seeking etc. I did end up seeing a psychiatrist, started seeing a CBT therapist and found a medication that worked for me and have therefore actually been able to enjoy life as a mum. The doctors were understanding and knew it wasn’t my fault.
We ended up moving house to a bigger house in a nice area, when I told my mum (as I was living close to her at the time) her and my dad screamed in my face telling me moving would ruin DS’ life and that we were failing his needs as parents.
We still decided to move because post partum has given us so many unhappy memories we just needed a fresh start. It was also only 30 minutes away from my parents.
A year ago, my mum guilted my partner and I into moving back under the guise that she would be more supportive and help with all we need. I just had this guilty feeling and I went with it trying to please her. But it’s been awful ever since.
She’s been so consistently spiteful, and when I want space bombards my phone saying I’m taking my DS away from her. I always end up feeling bad and apologising to her even if I’ve not said anything wrong. Just to keep the peace.
But it has been so toxic and last week both of my parents became threatening, screaming in both mine and my partners faces because we hadn’t seen them in a week.
She threatened to take me to court for custody of my son.
I just want to say we have always done everything right by our little boy, we are in frequent contact with his paediatrician, his Portage worker, his 1:1, went through the EHCP process etc.
He is a happy little boy and we adore him - but I can tell their behaviour is upsetting him as he’s become more clingy and getting more upset.
We have secretly been to view a house today. We currently live in a small 2 bed with extortionate rent and council tax just because it’s a posh area (her area).
We love the house we viewed, it’s a bigger 3 bed with a bigger garden and in our price range, it’s 10 minutes from his school, and 25 minutes from my parents.
I am stuck on what to do. We desperately want to move but I don’t know if I can handle the backlash or what she will do or threaten if we do move. I just feel lost and want to get out of this situation.