Family member extreme views

80 replies

bitkale · 10/10/2023 01:10

I have a family member who seems to buy into a lot of conspiracy theories/ extreme views. For example is an antivaxxer, follows Andrew Tate, believes we should all be allowed to own guns, all drugs should be legalised, doesn't believe that racism should be challenged (basically thinks it's fine if people are racist).

He is just so extreme about everything that you can't even have a conversation with him.

He recently went to hospital and gave a fake name because he was is so utterly paranoid about anyone having any information about him. He has a huge mistrust of the UK government.

He had some treatment and did give them his real address and he got a letter asking for payment (because the fake name he gave was not a UK resident). He was just laughing about it.

How do I even continue a relationship with someone like this? He is so extreme, I don't know what to do. AIBU to just distance from him even though I care about him? Is there any way to talk to someone who seems to be basically brainwashed?

OP posts:

lavendersbluedillydilly12 · 10/10/2023 23:02

bitkale · 10/10/2023 17:40

@lavendersbluedillydilly12 I'm kind of intrigued on the 'plants are bad for you' thing! Does he mean like vegetables, or houseplants?

Vegetables! They're literally trying to kill us, apparently. (When we eat them - not just from our fridge)

CoffeeMama1 · 11/10/2023 08:15

You can't reason with stupid, personally I'd cut this person out completely, it's disgusting and toxic and they dont deserve your time and energy.

MissTrip82 · 11/10/2023 08:32

Fredflinstoneswife · 10/10/2023 01:27

"He has a huge mistrust of the UK government."

Sounds like he is wiser than you give him credit for.

You saw the part about the racism
right?

The actual overt racism?

Afterschoolrun · 11/10/2023 09:00

bitkale · 10/10/2023 09:57

@Findingmypurposeinlife He's vocal with anyone who will listen, he doesn't care.

Ironically, I am qualified in a mental health field and I know that there is something wrong with him. Of course, I haven't 'armchair diagnosed' him, but I know him well enough to know that there are multiple issues. My view is that I think he woudl benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and a lot of therapy, but he will never have it.

He will not get help and really it's kind of impossible to 'keep an eye' on things because he will not accept any kind of input from anyone, family or not. He basically storms in and we have to take him as he comes or not see him. We could not see him but if we did that he would be even more isolated and vulnerable.

He will always be like this when he has an audience. So at the family gatherings. The only thing you could try is the next time you're at a family gathering try and get him somewhere on his own away from people and then just quietly say 'X, I'm really worried about you and your mental health, are you really OK? Is there anything I can do?'

In such a close space 1 on 1 he's unlikely to suddenly launch into a loud rant about something. He can't avoid the question. See what happens.

Or travel to see him on your own one day and chat to him if you really care.

He sounds lost - does he work? Study? Do anything full time? Have a partner or children? Sounds like he's been sucked into this world because he has nothing better to do. Sad really.

Afterschoolrun · 11/10/2023 09:01

Fredflinstoneswife · 10/10/2023 01:27

"He has a huge mistrust of the UK government."

Sounds like he is wiser than you give him credit for.

Looks like he's joined mumsnet OP 🤣

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