Pamper party for 5 year olds

Ontheclifftop · 2023-10-09T10:12:08+00:00

My 5 year old niece has just received an invitation to a 'pamper party' from a school friend. Apparently there will be mocktails, manicures and a make up session. My SIL thinks it's bloody ridiculous and I'm inclined to agree with her. Are these really a thing now for very small children.

MooFroo · 09/10/2023 11:17

Ridiculous! Silly and pointless and a waste of money
this is the kind of shit that brainwashes little girls and makes things about looks

TeaKitten · 09/10/2023 11:20

It’s daft but it’s just a bit of fun isn’t it. You could argue that all parties are a waste of money, but if the kids wants to celebrate her birthday this way then why not. You don’t have to accept the invite if your child wouldn’t enjoy it.

Catsfrontbum · 09/10/2023 11:21

Socialising girls to be pretty things to be groomed and looked at. VOM!

Bluetrue · 09/10/2023 11:23

I don't find it a problem. The party mum is probably trying to find something different to do ie no soft play etc. I would see this as a bit of fun but plenty of parents like to be offended about everything. Either go or don't but bitching about it is immature imo

Original poster

Ontheclifftop · 09/10/2023 11:23

TeaKitten · 09/10/2023 11:20

It’s daft but it’s just a bit of fun isn’t it. You could argue that all parties are a waste of money, but if the kids wants to celebrate her birthday this way then why not. You don’t have to accept the invite if your child wouldn’t enjoy it.

I suppose. But I just feel 5 year olds should be playing party games and running around the garden, not having their nails and make up done.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ontheclifftop · 09/10/2023 11:24

Bluetrue · 09/10/2023 11:23

I don't find it a problem. The party mum is probably trying to find something different to do ie no soft play etc. I would see this as a bit of fun but plenty of parents like to be offended about everything. Either go or don't but bitching about it is immature imo

Are we not allowed to discuss things on a chat forum?

OP posts:

fearfuloffluff · 09/10/2023 11:25

Kind of gross and I'd definitely draw the line at make up, which to my mind is designed to increase sexual attractiveness and therefore unsuitable to children.

A bit of glitter, watered down juice and kid-friendly nail varnish wouldn't get me that worked up, though.

I loathe, loathe, loathe the word pamper used as a euphemism for 'labour to ensure you meet a socially sanctioned standard of beauty'. I like baths with bubble bath. That's a treat. I don't like having hair plucked out or breathing varnish fumes. That's not a treat.

TeaKitten · 09/10/2023 11:26

Ontheclifftop · 09/10/2023 11:23

I suppose. But I just feel 5 year olds should be playing party games and running around the garden, not having their nails and make up done.

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I imagine if they have a suitable garden and the weathers ok and the kids request it, the mum will probably let them go in it too. Does your child not like the sound of it?

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 09/10/2023 11:27

Agreed OP, it’s grim. Wouldn’t they prefer a bouncy castle?

TeaKitten · 09/10/2023 11:28

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 09/10/2023 11:27

Agreed OP, it’s grim. Wouldn’t they prefer a bouncy castle?

Maybe the parent doesn’t have room for a bouncy castle, or the money to hire a hall and put one in. Maybe the kid has requested a pamper party.

Sugargliderwombat · 09/10/2023 11:28

I would not like this at all, encouraging girls to be teenagers before they need to be. I don't know many 5 year olds that would choose this over a normal party.

RosesAndHellebores · 09/10/2023 11:30

I think it's inappropriate on a variety of levels. Too young for make-up, idolisation of looks, precocious, stereotypes girls and women.

ChekhovsMum · 09/10/2023 11:31

Also, assuming there are no boys invited (bet there aren’t!) this is also the parent pushing their little princess into an all-girl friendship group before she’s had any time to decide for herself. Kids that age should be playing/partying with everyone.

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 09/10/2023 11:33

TeaKitten · 09/10/2023 11:28

Maybe the parent doesn’t have room for a bouncy castle, or the money to hire a hall and put one in. Maybe the kid has requested a pamper party.

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Fair enough regarding space and cost but why does that immediately mean a pamper party? The last time I hired a bouncy castle it cost 50 quid - how much are the make up, manicures, and mocktails going to cost?

You can say no when kids request something.

Whatdidyoudo99 · 09/10/2023 11:35

My daughter went to a pamper party at 5, but they just painted finger nails and styled hair ( no make up etc) they also done lots of crafts like decorate eye masks and hair accessories.
she loved it and still take about it 2 years later.

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 09/10/2023 11:38

Presumably it was the child’s request? Don’t send the child if it goes against your values.

Rainallnight · 09/10/2023 11:43

Absolutely gross. It’s very much bouncy castles, soft play, cake in the park, etc round our way

pizzaHeart · 09/10/2023 11:47

I wouldn’t be in a hurry to judge, there might be a reason behind this and in reality it might be something much more simpler than some people think. It might be different juices in Disney paper cups, a bit of water vanish and sticker tattoos. The devil is in the details.
My DD wouldn’t request a party like this at this age and would prefer soft play but maybe for birthday girl it’s not possible e.g for health reasons ( we were in the situation when DD had a health issue and wasn’t allowed running around/ active party ) or maybe someone at the family has had a similar party e.g older sister and the younger one is really keen on a similar.
Also there is a space issue, not all of us have money and space for a bouncy castle and you can’t just invite children to play on a birthday, you need some sort of idea.

TeaKitten · 09/10/2023 12:14

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 09/10/2023 11:33

Fair enough regarding space and cost but why does that immediately mean a pamper party? The last time I hired a bouncy castle it cost 50 quid - how much are the make up, manicures, and mocktails going to cost?

You can say no when kids request something.

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Kids make up = very cheap, probably already got it if their kids likes it, same for nail varnish. Mocktails = its fruit juice mixed together, £5-10 max including little umbrellas. Manicure = free as the mum will probably do it. Yes you can say no, but cheap fun at home with friends isn’t going to ruin them. If a girl likes being stereotypically ‘girly’ what is actually wrong with that? Some little girls enjoy pretty nails, it doesn’t make them future street walkers or chain them to the kitchen.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/10/2023 12:21

It’s make believe- it’s like playing shop keepers, doesn’t mean my child will skip uni and go straight to work in a shop. My eldest DD is incredibly girly, and keeps asking for make up, given I rarely wear the stuff it’s not from my influence, it’s how they’re wired. I’d stop the judgement and realise every child is different

Tdcp · 09/10/2023 12:23

It depends on the kid I think, DD would hate it with a passion by my niece loves everything pamper even from a very young age. It's a bit ridiculous imo but at the same time it is just a bit of fun for some small kids.

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 09/10/2023 12:44

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 09/10/2023 11:33

Fair enough regarding space and cost but why does that immediately mean a pamper party? The last time I hired a bouncy castle it cost 50 quid - how much are the make up, manicures, and mocktails going to cost?

You can say no when kids request something.

Show quote history

Fair enough regarding space and cost but why does that immediately mean a pamper party? The last time I hired a bouncy castle it cost 50 quid
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have the space for a bouncy castle.

You can say no when kids request something.
What is the need to, in this situation?

SunshineAndFizz · 09/10/2023 12:51

My DD has been invited to one and absolutely can't wait. We've never pushed 'girlie' toys/clothes etc. but by choice she naturally always gravitates towards pink, girlie, princess, makeup, dress up stuff.

And if it's down to me, I'd much prefer taking her to that sort of thing than a soft play party - she goes to them all the time and they're blooming exhausting. Pass me the mocktail!

ginsparkles · 09/10/2023 12:57

At 5 my DD would have loved a pamper party, and went to one or two. Loved coming back with her hair plaited, glitter tattoos and all the rest. They still played party games and all the other birthday staples.

At 11.... she loves make up, but is happiest in black, shuns anything girly, her hair is cut short and she actively complains and chooses to wear clothes from the "boys" section. The notion of a pamper party would fill her with dread these days!

A couple of pamper parties doesn't have to be the lead into a focus on looks and doesn't mean they aren't being active. It's a theme like any other.

londonrach · 09/10/2023 13:05

Yabu. My daughter went to one aged 5...they were greeted with bubbles (Ribera and lemonade ) in plastic wine glasses, had dressings gowns up and had their nails painted after putting their feet in a foot bath. They then had little sandwiches and cakes laid out like a high tea. Every single one of them loved and it's been still talked about. It's fun and they loved it