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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pamper party for 5 year olds

83 replies

Ontheclifftop · 09/10/2023 11:12

My 5 year old niece has just received an invitation to a 'pamper party' from a school friend. Apparently there will be mocktails, manicures and a make up session. My SIL thinks it's bloody ridiculous and I'm inclined to agree with her.

Are these really a thing now for very small children.

OP posts:
PreschoolMum4 · 09/10/2023 14:26

I think it depends. I’ve hosted a similar party with my daughters a few years older. I paid for a company to host. They had edible chocolate face masks, foot spas, manicures and pedicures, games etc. The children loved it and the parents were really grateful for such a lovely experience. I do think they’re too young for makeup though.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 09/10/2023 14:26

Mine got invited to a pamper party at the same age. I agree with you OP It made me feel uncomfortable as felt too 'adult'.. which maybe makes me a hypocrite as I'm fine letting them mess about with nail varnish and stuff like that at home. I felt like I couldn't decline as it was her best friend and they'd been discussing it. In the end it wasn't as bad as I thought, they did the usual party tea and party games and the pamper bit of it was short- na varnish eye shadow and lip gloss which we had to scrub off when we got home as she was allergic to it. Not a gan of mocktails etc for similar reasons.

ReadyForPumpkins · 09/10/2023 14:29

There's nothing wrong with it. DC1 asked for one but when about 8 or 9. They had manicure, cucumber on face, foot spa.

She didn't turn out to be a fashion obsessed teen. Quite tomboy in fact.

ReadyForPumpkins · 09/10/2023 14:30

It's not a full two hour of make up and facials. There was a party host and games and food. It's just a little bit of pamper theme.

TheGoogleMum · 09/10/2023 14:31

I wouldn't throw this party, but if DD was invited to one I think she would enjoy having her nails done. She never keeps still for me to do her hair though and doesn't like things on her face so I'm not sure about the rest of it. She's in reception so same age group

bakewellbride · 09/10/2023 14:32

I could kind of understand it for preteens or young teens but 5 is just ridiculous. Far too young.

Chickychoccyegg · 09/10/2023 14:46

My dds have been invited to loads of parties like this over the years , you and your sil are massively overthinking this, you really are.
Make over is just a little bit of face glitter and lip gloss , usually a foot spa and some nail painting, make hair Braiding/curling, still party games and party tea .
Lots of science there with making face masks and mixing cocktails, so it doesn't seem quite so "vapid" 🙄
None of my dds are interested in make up, all quite enjoy skin care routines though , 2 of them are now away to uni, and youngest dd is still at school, so don't worry, it doesn't kill brain cells or make you obsessed with make up.

Parker231 · 09/10/2023 16:38

Wishingwell57 · 09/10/2023 13:11

This. What happened to pass the parcel?

Agree - pass the parcel, musical statues, pin the tail on the donkey, birthday tea, blow the candles out on the cake and all go home!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/10/2023 10:39

I can’t get worked up about some child-friendly nail polish. Gdd1 loved it from when she was about 3, sometimes with sessions at birthday parties if she’d been given any, but there’d still be plenty of the usual running around and games. She also loved messing with makeup, still does, but also at now 8 is a fearless swimmer, jumper into deep sea, tree climber, avid climber of walls, etc.
So hardly ‘girlified’ beyond redemption.

Stompythedinosaur · 11/10/2023 10:44

It isn't my thing, but ultimately it's young girls playing at being adult women, which isn't that unusual. No real difference to my memories of dressing up in my mum's high heels when I was a kid many years ago.

Floralnomad · 11/10/2023 10:47

It’s not something that my daughter would have been interested in at 5 and I wouldn’t have been encouraging her to go. There are plenty of different party ideas without resorting to this .

PrudeyTwoShoes · 11/10/2023 11:12

I think it's fine. Maybe the birthday girl asked for a pamper party. Even if it's her mother's idea, it's just a bit of fun IMO. I don't think it needs a to be made into a massive issue and just politely decline the invite if you really have a problem with it.

CoffeeCantata · 11/10/2023 15:09

Yuk - what a horrible idea.

Probablygreen · 11/10/2023 15:42

Meh, I can’t get worked up about it. My DD had one for her 6th birthday party last year (although I asked that they just do juice in cups rather than making it look like mocktails). I have no idea where she got the idea because I don’t really go in for make up at all, but they all had a great time (including her 7 year old brother by the way, who absolutely did not want to be left out).
This year she joined a football team and wants a football party, which again she will get because it’s her birthday and her choice, nothing to do with me. Next year it will be something else entirely.
I have no problem with her wanting to make herself look pretty, as long as it’s for her and no-one else, which at 6, it is. I also have no problem with her getting all muddy or wearing whatever the heck she likes. She’s developing her own personality nicely.

Hbh17 · 11/10/2023 15:47

What's wrong with pass the parcel, jelly and cake when they are 5? They do not need to be "pampered", or even indoctrinated with the idea that the so-called pampering is something girls should aspire to, tbh.

Cowlover89 · 11/10/2023 15:48

Yabu

Katiesaidthat · 11/10/2023 15:50

I don´t see any problem with it. Some girls like playing with make-up, kids nail varnish, dressing up and being super girly. My girl does. Much more than I did at the same age. So what? It won´t make them grow up a kitchen slave.

Millybob · 11/10/2023 15:51

Horrible, I agree - but they'll love it.

Growingouttogether · 11/10/2023 15:52

I wouldn’t throw the party but my football playing, spider-man obsessed DD the same age would really enjoy going to one (as long as some running around permitted as well). She likes playing with make up, loves nail varnish and fake tattoos and digging mud holes in the garden. Personally I don’t think it ‘sends a message’ other than it being a bit of fun and at 5 many children of both sexes enjoy sparkles and painted nails.

MidnightOnceMore · 11/10/2023 16:01

That isn't a party I'd want my young daughter to go to, I'd just be busy that day.

Parker231 · 11/10/2023 16:26

Were any boys invited? We also had boys and girls invited to DC’s parties and this isn’t something I would be encouraging in such young children.

LittleMonks11 · 11/10/2023 16:30

5 is way too young for this kind of shit IMHO. That's just me though. My DD is 12 and still doesn't like this kind of shit.

Menopausalmum48 · 11/10/2023 16:32

My daughter would have loved a party like that when she was that age.

I suppose it's not much different to when they get to dress up as Disney Princesses and have their hair and make-up done.

I don't see any harm in it.
I remember raiding my mum's make-up back as a 5 year old.
It never did me any harm or made me view certain things in certain ways.

MeganSupervision · 11/10/2023 16:36

At this age it’s gross. Whether the kids enjoy it or not, it’s an unnecessary message to send girls. Unless boys are having these parties too?

CurlewKate · 11/10/2023 16:38

@Bluetrue "plenty of parents like to be offended about everything."

I don't think that's true. I think plenty of parents are worried about the way girls are socialised into stereotypical
femininity ridiculously early. Which isn't quite the same thing.