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Original poster

Burnout or "normal" working practise?

126 replies

Stressedgiraffe · 09/10/2023 06:41

I can't figure out if I'm burned out or if this just normal or not?
I have too much work to do, too many meetings then need to find time to do the actions/outputs from the meetings.
Today I got up at 4 and have done 2 hrs work. Just having a coffee before kids get up and get ready for school then they get a bus at 8. Then I have 8-9 to do some more work then 9-430 I have back to back meetings. I'll probably log off at 530 as I refuse to work in the evening.
Then there is dinner, dogs walking, general faffing for tomorrow and then I'm tired so will be in bed by 9 ready to get up at 4.and repeat till Friday.
Work is all critical too many different things all of the same priority. All my colleagues are also working stupid amounts mainly late in the evening. No extra resource available
Is this the new normal at work or am I burning out?

OP posts:
Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 09/10/2023 13:31

4-7 am I get quite a lot done. It's quiet no teams chat and everyone else is asleep.
After 5pm dds are home and need food and I'm knackered. By 8 all I want to do is sleep.

I often have meetings at 8 so no quiet time.

OP posts:
IfYouDontAsk · 09/10/2023 13:33

It will be normal for many people and particular sectors. But that doesn’t make it acceptable or healthy and there are also many, many workplaces where this is so far from the norm. Take care OP

Cola2023 · 09/10/2023 13:44

Stressedgiraffe · 09/10/2023 13:31

4-7 am I get quite a lot done. It's quiet no teams chat and everyone else is asleep.
After 5pm dds are home and need food and I'm knackered. By 8 all I want to do is sleep.

I often have meetings at 8 so no quiet time.

This is why I work at weird times too. No teams messages (can appear offline) and sign out of the phone system so no calls.

Most of the core hours in my week go to admin tasks rather than proper work. I do that outside of it.

ArcticBells · 09/10/2023 13:53

PickledPurplePickle · 09/10/2023 09:10

This is ridiculous - you all need to start working your hours and let things slip, so that the higher ups realise what is happening and then they might think again about the hiring freeze

By all working like this you are allowing it to happen

I take pride in my job and it's one of the few things in life I can honestly say I'm good at. I'm never going to let things "slip" on purpose and that's how I've done well at work. The trouble is that the more efficient you are at your job, the more these aggressive corporations plonk on you. It's a no win hamster wheel

Newestname002 · 09/10/2023 14:05

Stressedgiraffe · 09/10/2023 12:52

Just out of one meeting 10 mins till next. I've made another list of priorities for the week and hopefully I'll knock off some tasks.
I'll look for another job in the new year I think just going to keep going till Xmas and try to take sometime off in Nov. I still have 12 days to take between now and end of Nov!

Very glad to hear you're due some leave before end November. Make sure you take it and log out if everything "company" for that time as well as the time over Christmas to recharge properly. If you become so stressed that your body and/or mind stops functioning it will be more of a long term health problem for you and your family. Your company are very unlikely to reward you for making yourself ill because of the pressures you are trying to cope with. Especially if you don't own a chunk in the business. I learned that to my own detriment in my working life. 🌹

DeMaMaatje · 09/10/2023 14:10

I used to live to work and was thinking of death daily. Now I work to live.

Not very helpful, I know. What I am trying to say is this: if you wrote this post you KNOW something is wrong and your current life/work style is unsustainable. If you are valuable to your company you have bargaining power. If you are replaceable then I would suggest rethinking your job and future. If they fire you you can get DWP help while you find something more reasonable. My hunch is that your skill set is in pretty high demand. Good luck.

PS: thinking about your job and future requires a rested mind and body so maybe set goals per day during days off to plan for a better life. You only have the one...

thecatsthecats · 09/10/2023 14:12

SylvieLaufeydottir · 09/10/2023 07:47

The only answer to this is for you to stop trying to do the impossible and start pushing stuff overboard. Start job hunting too while you're at it, because these cultures are difficult to change.

Ruining your health because this company doesn't know how to prioritise would be utterly stupid and pointless. You are a human being and you can only do what you can do. That is not something you can change by trying. It is a law or the universe.

All that happens if you do those kinds of hours for more than a very short period is that you get slower and stupider due to exhaustion and burnout, and either you don't actually get any more "done" or the quality of your cognitive processes has degraded so much that your work is bad anyway. Research has pretty stably shown that six hours of brainwork is the max that people can do sustainably a day before things start deteriorating.

Very much this.

We dramatically revised our ways of working at one of my previous workplaces to make the most out of the minimum. Plans were made to fit the minimum concentration/participation required, as opposed to some Boxer-the-horse style "I must work harder" mentality.

There was extreme discomfort from some execs about "slackening the pace" - especially a man who took great pride in burning the midnight oil. Except for all his work, his mind was like his laptop - a hundred tabs open and he didn't know which one was playing music. Whereas the rest of us were blitzing quickly through work because we were happy, healthy, and tuned to make good decisions.

I won't ever work hard again, because I know that when primed with good conditions, my brain can make decisions that either make or save my employers £££. So maintaining those good conditions is worth far more than hard work ever can be.

40butfab · 09/10/2023 14:26

I could have written this post (apart from the 4am bit) so completely empathise. It's an impossible situation as you can't step off the hamster wheel to catch your breath, and I think that counts as burnout.
Other than looking for a new job, my only advice would be to speak to your line manager and tell them you're at breaking point, and that your working pattern is not sustainable. Either you need something taking off your plate or some staff to support you and share the load. I've had some (short lived) success with this.

And if you ever can take a few minutes for yourself on one of the quieter days then do it - sit in the garden or have a coffee in the lounge for half an hour and just let yourself stop for a bit. It sounds like your work aren't doing anything to help your wellbeing so you will have to take control over your health.
Good luck xx

Ginmonkeyagain · 09/10/2023 14:26

@Cola2023 and what are her measurable objectives exactly? Attending more meetings than possible during the working day?

This is not a healthy or sustainable situation, the OP knows this.

I am not a strict 9-5 person and will often work to 7pm if I have a lot of admin or am on a roll with writing a report, but the OP sounds overwhelmed.

Katy123456 · 09/10/2023 14:28

You need to start a conversation at work about the culture and prioritisation. It isn't the normal, but neither is it particularly uncommon. Its really up to you and others you work with to start setting some boundaries if you feel the balance in your life isn't right.

HotApplePiePunch · 09/10/2023 14:31

I think it's just the company culture

You may not be able to make any changes then without others doing so as well and leaving may well be best option.

I thought it was normal was put on a lot of badly run IT projects - it was a revelation when I was put on a well run one I suddenly had time and energy to think. I'm not sure it went well for the company because I thought through what was important to me and within in a year I'd changed everything about my life as I never wanted to go back to those hours - all the extra work was never remember come yearly review time either.

Well run project leader did 10 minute daily meetings first thing- anything longer was timetabled after for a separate meeting with strict agenda and limited participation - it stopped a lot of time wasting.

dcsp · 09/10/2023 14:40

A lot of previous posts suggest speaking to your manager. I wouldn't do that - I'd polish up my CV and find another job. You've indicated that your pay isn't unusually high for the role, so you could presumably earn similar elsewhere - not every employer is like this and what you have described is neither normal nor acceptable.

RB68 · 09/10/2023 14:46

Start booking yourself working time before others can get meetings in - so in your diary schedule out time for specific work, call it whatever you like but make it unavailable for booking so e.g. Friday Mornings, Monday afternoons or whatever suits your own working sequence.

Krystos · 09/10/2023 15:26

sounds like burnout to me. i actually quit my LA job this year fr similar issues. getting COVID last year just made it worse.

SequentialAnalyst · 09/10/2023 15:34

I burnt out in August this year. I took on a volunteer job which turned out to be much much more work than I had expected. Then other life stresses relating to family pressed in on me as well.

One morning, I settled down reluctantly to do something to do with the volunteer job. And just sat there. I couldn't have done anything even if someone had held a gun to my head (only a slight exaggeration).

I had burnt out. Luckily I am retired and have enough money, so I've been able to recover by ditching the vol job, and addressing family issues as best I can.

Also tea and MN always helpsBrewBrew

Cheviot37 · 09/10/2023 21:37

I'm a senior nurse in NHS and it's the same expectations seeing patients back to back then admin at home in your own time. Im burnt out too, I'm trying to get out and find another career.

cat1886 · 09/10/2023 21:38

Sounds normal to me….I’m a teacher and that’s pretty much what it’s like! Except I do work most evenings!

Tabitha2721 · 09/10/2023 21:45

Doing this occasionally is pretty normal for corporate working, but not continuously. You need to stop doing it so work recognise there is an issue. Something needs to break before they fix it - don’t let it be you!

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 09/10/2023 22:08

cat1886 · 09/10/2023 21:38

Sounds normal to me….I’m a teacher and that’s pretty much what it’s like! Except I do work most evenings!

It’s not right though, is it? We clearly need more teachers, not least to avoid killing half of those we have.

PinkDaffodil2 · 09/10/2023 22:14

Working 10-12 hour days is normal in a lot of jobs, but doesn’t mean it’s healthy or it’s right for your situation.
The flexibility sounds appealing (I’m a GP and nobody wants to see the doctor before 8 so I can’t do early starts / early finishes) but it sounds like you’re getting burnt out. Your early starts clearly aren’t normal but it sounds like you’re in an industry where most people work into the evening, and you’re choosing not to do that.
The real questions are what impact is this having you, and what are your options?

PinkDaffodil2 · 09/10/2023 22:16

Also I’m planning on moving out of general practice because the 12 hour days don’t suit me either and I can feel the burnout creeping in!
DH works in corporate law where in a bad month 80-100 hour weeks are ‘normal’ but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy!

Focusplease · 09/10/2023 22:42

It's normal to me as a social worker. I work evenings and most weekends too just desperately trying to keep up. And when I'm not working I'm anxious about what I haven't done. But I'm mentally and physically drained and it's affecting my health. Just biding my time until I can get something else, have applied for jobs but not been successful. I'm a single parent which makes it more difficult as there's nobody else to help pay mortgage and bills, and generally less responsibility means less pay.

Cola2023 · 09/10/2023 23:11

I've thought about it today and not to trivialise it, but I had the realisation that a lot of people spend hours every day watching tv around work.

I don't own a tv because I'm always busy. However, health wise, is sitting in front of a different screen really having 'a life' either.

So that made me feel better about it. I do actually enjoy work generally and it keeps me distracted.

I guess just not when I feel under pressure with weekly deadlines.

Onabench · 09/10/2023 23:15

Agree that your work culture is shit. How are you actually doing anything productive if you have back to back meetings? What is the purpose? Start declining meetings and action stuff instead. You will burn out.

Cola2023 · 09/10/2023 23:15

Also, I cope with work by gardening once a week. That's the thing I focus on.

So if I'm having a bad week I think 'Need to keep working to pay the mortgage on this house with the garden' or I reward myself with plants.

Most people who work mad hours have some version of this.

I also go to therapy once every 3 weeks which has helped with goal setting / stress management.

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