Burnout or "normal" working practise?

[Stressedgiraffe]

I can't figure out if I'm burned out or if this just normal or not?
I have too much work to do, too many meetings then need to find time to do the actions/outputs from the meetings.
Today I got up at 4 and have done 2 hrs work. Just having a coffee before kids get up and get ready for school then they get a bus at 8. Then I have 8-9 to do some more work then 9-430 I have back to back meetings. I'll probably log off at 530 as I refuse to work in the evening.
Then there is dinner, dogs walking, general faffing for tomorrow and then I'm tired so will be in bed by 9 ready to get up at 4.and repeat till Friday.
Work is all critical too many different things all of the same priority. All my colleagues are also working stupid amounts mainly late in the evening. No extra resource available
Is this the new normal at work or am I burning out?

@Cola2023 My contracted hours are also 37.5 but most weeks I work 50-55 hours with no overtime pay.

Big corporation with regular mental health awareness emails etc etc but actually it's all box ticking and no one gives a shit. I only stay because I'm on my own and need a job with a decent salary (for what I do).

Exact same. Weekly emails about mental health.

'Why do you do this job?'

Nobody advertises a job saying you will be working all hours god sends and you will be constantly castigated for not having met unachievable deadlines.

You start a job and put in extra hours because you are new and need to build your knowledge. Then as you get better, quicker, more knowledgeable extra things get added in so you are still working the extra hours. A deadline gets shifted, a priority gets changed and somehow you cope. Now coping with shifting deadlines and priorities is the expected norm.

Classic boiling frog.

No-one at a senior level sees the extra time worked, the extra stress caused because it doesn't cost them anything.

Such companies - I have worked for them - tend to view technical services such as finance and IT as necessary evils, pay the minimum and assume that staff can be easily replaced when they leave.

They get a shock when they find that replacements aren't clammering at the door.

My sibling is an NHS surgeon who has worked 100+ hours per week on 24+ hour shifts for long stretches.

I also work in a role that supports vulnerable people in difficulty.

As much as people are saying 'Don't work long hours!' the reality is the same people tend to complain when services they need can't be accessed.

If those organisations weren't squeezing staff, they would fail to exist.

This is ridiculous - you all need to start working your hours and let things slip, so that the higher ups realise what is happening and then they might think again about the hiring freeze

By all working like this you are allowing it to happen

In my experience you’re partly being paid for long/ odd/ irregular hours.

If you’re paid £200,000 you simply cannot expect to be clocking off at 5 every day. That’s not how the world works. You’re being paid partly for the inconvenience of long or odd hours. And it would be unacceptable to complain about long or odd hours at that level of salary. Ie you’d be “moved on” pretty sharpish.

This does not apply to OP of course as she is on £55k, where she should be working standard hours and her employer sounds exploitative.

My ex (same sector) complained that I worked too much. However, he admitted that if he didn't have children he'd be in the same role as me.

I got paid more than him (still about £20K more after his last promotion) and funnily enough, when he wanted a promotion he started to put in 60 hour weeks.

Burn out is real, but a separate issue is that there's a different attitude to women working long hours. Or getting paid more. Some see it as abnormal or failing.

However, if you have your own money and the house is in your name you don't have to put up with nonsense from men, so it balances out.

Not normal or sustainable. You (and your family by proxy) deserve more of a prioritising of your health. Writing down a list of things and analysing their genuine value works to help me narrow down what really matters. Maybe it can help you too?

It depends how much you’re getting paid.

I burnout from teaching.
I was working all day, coming home and working in the evening, sending and replying to emails from waking up to going to sleep and working on Sundays.

I kept telling myself to stay because of the holidays but I literally had no life during term time and even in the holidays I couldn’t fully switch off.
My to do list was never ending.

I was getting less than £30k though and so it was easier to leave because I knew that I wasn’t giving up a job that was £50k+

So it sort of depends on how much you earn but if it’s not much then I would definitely get a new job.

I cannot tell you what a relief it is just being able to switch off and not be worrying about what I need to do the next day.

I think some workplaces do normalise this culture and work staff to burnout. Replacing burnt out staff that leave can be cheaper than taking on an extra staff member to cover the excess work. What's the turnover like in your department - if it's high, there's a reason.

I hear you OP, and I also think this time of year is the worst. October to right up to Christmas is the hardest time in my job. Unbearably close to burnout constantly.

I don't know what the answer is tbh. Of course it would be lovely to turn down meetings and not work hours outside of usual working hours but usually there is some consequence of not doing the work that is worse than just doing it. It feels like a lot of businesses are pretty much hanging by a thread, things could go to serious shit at any point, and quickly, and so we all buckle up and get things done so we are not out of a job completely.

The only thing that has made my life even slightly easier is that Microsoft at some point in time was monitoring my activity and placed 'focus time' in my diary every other day because of the sheer number of meetings and outside hour working. I didn't even have to do it, it did it for me! It actually does stop people putting meetings in my diary. Desperate measures....and you can blame it on Microsoft !

Have you come across the Japanese concept of Karoshi? I think you are endangering your health through your work commitments. I would advise you to slow down, but it's easier said than done.

It's a new department so we've all been here 2ish years. Only 2 people have left out of 12. We're down to 10.

With the levels of working how soon will it be for the 10 to become 8 or 6? After a couple of years people will be starting to realise that nothing is going to improve. They will be looking elsewhere. Don't be the last out if the door.

I am also in a niche IT/finance role. I had got myself mentally stuck, working stupid hours, always available. Then one day a job popped up and I went for it.

My then director nearly fell off their chair when I handed in my notice.

working in project management we sometimes have weird hours due to meetings with people abroad. but time is then taken in lieu to compensate.
I don't regularly work over time, but it can be necessary just before delivery of an important part of the project. again, time off is planned to compensate (at least somewhat).

That's 11 hours of work per day, so 55 hours a week.

What are they paying you??? If it's not paid brilliantly then I'd at least be checking that they're paying you minimum wage for all those hours.

My first thought was that you were self employed with all those hours!

Minimum wage is £10.42 so 55 x £10.42 x 52 weeks = £29,800.

I'd be wanting £60k a year for having to do that much!!!

I agree it comes down to what you are paid

I used to regularly work those hours
if not more (but later start and finish) but it was a high pay job with prospects of really high pay as you progressed. Plenty of £ to throw at cleaners and other help. And most senior people had a SAHP.

Doesn’t sound like yours is well paid enough to be worth the hours

My last job became like this. 60 hour weeks as the norm. As many as 8-10 meetings a day, then no time to do the actual work out of the meetings. It was awful. I burned out, and had 4 months off sick with stress.
When I went back, my manager decided to use this against me. So I left.
I have a new job, same money (standardised salary scale across the sector), but nowhere near the stress of the last one. I can't tell you the difference to my life.

Just out of one meeting 10 mins till next. I've made another list of priorities for the week and hopefully I'll knock off some tasks.
I'll look for another job in the new year I think just going to keep going till Xmas and try to take sometime off in Nov. I still have 12 days to take between now and end of Nov!

Are you asking if it's normal or if it's OK?

Despite what others are saying it IS normal in many industries (finance, law, education, medicine, academia, business etc).

Does it suck? Yes.

Can we change it? Probably not. I mean, I hope it will, but it will take a generational shift which i think is already beginning in many areas to move away from these types of working practices. You as one person in the context of your one job realistically probably only have the choice of whether to stay or go.

Are you unreasonable to feel exhausted and burned out? No, not unreasonable.

Are you just managing your time badly? Again, probably no.

^^ Hope this helps clarify matters 🙃

If you want to start a squad to smash the patriarchy and capitalism I'll be there with ya x

The problem is this is ‘normal’ for your work. Unfortunately you all get the work done so higher ups won’t care that you are worked to the bone.

Whenever I get asked to do additional I ask what they would like me to stop doing or what is a priority. I already have same work load as full timers so don’t want extra. So I tend to say I’d love to but…

Work isn’t a priority for me so I’d look to move elsewhere so I could have a better work life balance.

Firstly you have too many meetings. Secondly I don't think you are using your time wisely.

Getting up at 4am is killing you, how much do you really get done from 4am - 6am?. How aboit you experiment with working an extra hour in the evening (so to 6.30pm) and start at 8am?

Yes some things won't get done but your employer needs to learn that lesson.

Its normal if you are a teacher

In target driven roles people are let go if they don't meet measurable objectives.

Contrary to others here, this is similar to my life. 5-6 work, then child up and out by 715 (husband takes him to nursery); I walk the dog or I go into london - in either case back working again by 815/30 until 6pm, no lunch break. Then bedtime with son, dinner, a bit more work and bed by 10.