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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think husband was rude to me?

55 replies

Pastagate · 08/10/2023 18:25

I made dinner for husband and he ate on his own while I was dealing with something else at the time. C.30 mins after he started eating in the kitchen I went in to put away 3 mugs. Husband asked me to stop as it was annoying, so I did. I then took out a frying pan to make my own food. Husband got up, walked out of the kitchen without saying a word and went upstairs. Food left half eaten on the table. I text him if he had finished and he said yes. Asked him why he didn’t say anything when he left, he says he doesn’t need to and he left because taking the frying pan out annoyed him after having told me already that the noise from putting the dirty dishes away annoyed him. We got into an argument about his rudeness and he’s now asking if he has to tell me every time he goes from one room to another.

Was he rude when he walked off or AIBU?

OP posts:
Switcher · 08/10/2023 18:27

He was absolutely bizarre, yes.

Pastagate · 08/10/2023 18:28

And apparently I am the one with the communication problem.

OP posts:
Cumbrianlife · 08/10/2023 18:30

Why the fuck did you cook for him? He sounds like an entitled dick.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/10/2023 18:32

He sounds like a complete prick. Who was going to tidy up his unfinished dinner?

Malarandras · 08/10/2023 18:34

Yeah he was rude OP. You deserve better. You cooked for him for goodness sake!

50lessfat · 08/10/2023 18:35

I would not cook anything for him all week.

gamerchick · 08/10/2023 18:36

It takes 30 minutes to get half way through a plate of food?

Balloonhearts · 08/10/2023 18:36

Cook your meals for the rest of the week. If he enters the kitchen for food while you're eating, tell him he's annoying and to go away. Leave all washing up for him to deal with.

GodDammitCecil · 08/10/2023 18:37

Stop cooking for him, is job number 1.

Hummingbird233 · 08/10/2023 18:38

YANBU. He's taking you for granted and was really rude. Does he always act like he's king of the castle?

This kind of set up wouldn't work for me. He's ungrateful and nasty. I mean, how much noise does taking a pan out really make?

Hufflepods · 08/10/2023 18:39

The entire dynamic is ridiculous. Why are you cooking for him and then yourself later??

Mylovelygreendress · 08/10/2023 18:41

Do you not eat together ?

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 08/10/2023 18:41

He told you off for unloading the dishwasher whilst he sat there like Lady Muck eating the meal you prepared for him, then kicked off when you tried to feed yourself AND left a half eaten plate of food on the table clearly expecting you'll clean up after him too......

And you're asking who is being unreasonable??

Sounds like you need to grow a back bone instead of being his doormat. No more cooking for him or cleaning up behind him.

YoghurtCoatedMeerkats · 08/10/2023 18:46

I would be so grateful and appreciative if someone cooked for me. He sounds pathetic. I hope you're not going to cook for him again.

ExplodingCarrots · 08/10/2023 18:46

He was spoiling for a fight . I can't even get my head round someone getting annoyed by something like this . He sounds like a massive twat .

CesareBorgia · 08/10/2023 18:55

It's a bit annoying if someone is faffing round while you're trying to eat, but he could have tackled this in a more adult way - taken his food to finish on a tray somewhere else, for example.

WeMustGetOffTheMountain · 08/10/2023 19:00

Even if he has sensory needs which made it difficult for him to be around the noise from the mugs and the frying pan, that doesn't give him the excuse to be rude like that.

As Michelle says in R,S&BT... "Make your own fucking tea!"

Agnorant · 08/10/2023 19:01

A half eaten plate of food after 30 min though..? What did he eat and why does it take him so long to eat? Bizzare.

Tbf I hate when dh starts emptying the dishwasher when I’m eating (5-10 min) breakfast (I have a very stressful and very noisy job) as it’s the only quiet time I’ll have to myself. He doesn’t get it.

Agnorant · 08/10/2023 19:02

Does he have Misophonia?

Booklover40 · 08/10/2023 19:06

Does he have Misophonia?

Honestly, the ways people will twist themselves in knots trying to excuse twattish behaviour on here is just hilarious. Obviously it must be a health problem/mental health and he’s not just being rude and nasty to his partner who had just kindly cooked his dinner for him.

Your relationship sounds utterly shit OP. Does he have any redeeming qualities bc he sounds like an absolute bellend.

Agnorant · 08/10/2023 19:13

Booklover40 · 08/10/2023 19:06

Does he have Misophonia?

Honestly, the ways people will twist themselves in knots trying to excuse twattish behaviour on here is just hilarious. Obviously it must be a health problem/mental health and he’s not just being rude and nasty to his partner who had just kindly cooked his dinner for him.

Your relationship sounds utterly shit OP. Does he have any redeeming qualities bc he sounds like an absolute bellend.

I am not twisting anything, her dh was rude as fuck and if he has Misophonia it would obviously not be an excuse. Nor would anything else. I was curious if he has it. I have it myself and it’s horrible, but I would not behave like him ever.

AmIAutumnalNow · 08/10/2023 19:15

Such a bizarre post OP

What odd behaviour from him. Does he have form?

Prelapsarianhag · 08/10/2023 19:17

Mate, he is just a common or garden cunt. Please, please don't cook this twat food any time soon. Value yourself much much more.

Millybob · 08/10/2023 19:17

What's he making for his own dinner tonight then?

But why are you making two dinners in the first place?

ActDottie · 08/10/2023 19:34

I don’t really get the situation? Why were you not eating with him?

I would never cook for my husband if I wasn’t eating as well.