XL Bully "just wants to play!"

[PumpkinSly]

I was in the local park today with my 4 and 6 year old children. We have a medium sized dog ourselves. She's a bit of an old lady now so just potters about having a sniff. There was a couple with a baby walking their huge XL bully dog around the park. The first time we crossed their path the dog was on a lead but their dog was pulling strongly on the lead to try to investigate either my dog, or my children. The owner was all too willing to "let the dog say hello". I'm not comfortable with huge dogs approaching my kids or my dog so I moved everyone along very quickly and didn't engage with the dog or the owners. The next time we crossed their path the dog was off lead. It wasn't acting aggressively but it bounded up to my DD. My children were playing in a small wooded area of the park where there are felled trees for them to climb. I was helping my 6 yr old DS on one bit of the logs, while my 4 yr old dd was playing a few meters away. The dog bounded up to her and she was visibly scared. The owner was making comments about how much the dog loves kids and how playful he is etc, but to me it was a huge powerful dog that was scaring my child and it shouldn't be approaching kids at all. I told the owner that his dog shouldn't be allowed to approach children and to get it on a lead away from my kids. The owner went absolutely ballistic. Telling me that he just wants to play with them, that he loves kids, that I was prejudice against American bully dogs because of the news, that his dog is friendly, that my children should be better educated in how to handle dogs who approach them in a friendly way, and that I was an irresponsible dog owner because my dog was unsupervised while my children were playing. It's true that my dog wanders around doing her own thing but she is 11, she doesn't go far, I can always see her having a sniff about, and her recall is very good. The XL Bully became very energetic in response to the owners outburst and charged at my DD knocking her the ground. It wasn't aggressive, just boisterous and spurred on by the atmosphere and the owners response to me. The owner then grabbed his dog and left very quickly, while I was left to sort out my distressed DD. AIBU to think the owners of these massive dogs should have better awareness than to let them approach kids? Was I wrong to tell the owner to get his dog away from my children? The dog was at least three times the weight of my 4 year old, if not more, it was at least as tall as her when on all fours, and she was clearly scared by this dog because as soon as she realised it was there she called out for me and backed away.

Absolutely infuriating! The owners of these breeds know exactly what they have. They know that the majority of decent people, don't want anything to do with those dogs and they certainly don't want them approaching them or their children! But, they don't care! And like this dickhead owner, they feel like they can argue and not be challenged. Why? Because they've got a massive, intimidating dog with them!

I’ve voted YANBU but I agree with this.

You THINK nothing would happen with your dog, you don’t know. In a park set up for kids, no one should have their dogs off the lead and you doing so makes it much harder to argue for others not to.

No one actually knows for certain that their dog would never do anything. Your dog is getting quite old now and senility could kick in, for example. I know someone who had a beloved and completely trusted and soppy dog from a non aggressive breed, one night it flipped and tore her face off, literally - she’s being having reconstructive surgery for years.

Not unreasonable. I am getting increasingly pissed off at irresponsible dog owners like this.

We went to the beach this weekend and there were so many dogs with appalling recall off the lead. A spaniel bounded up to my 4yo DD and she was visibly not happy (turning away, trying to get away from the dog). I ended up standing between her and the dog, trying to push it away with my legs and the owner came over saying that it was okay because the dog was friendly and just wanted to play, completely ignoring the fact my daughter did not want to play with the dog.

The reason my daughter is so wary of dogs in the first place is because she was knocked over by one when she was about 18months/2yo (but it's okay! Because it was friendly 🙄) she's gotten better about them from being around well trained dogs but she still prefers a bit of space from them.

Anyway, rant over. YANBA.

They have a baby and an XL?
I fear that alone may not end well, given they clearly have no idea how to manage the the dog or no inclination to.
No dog owner should be saying crap like 'he just wants to play' or 'he's harmless' if their dog is off the lead in public and approaches any adult, child, or any other dog and is either not called back, or is called back and doesn't come. It is quite simply a dog which is not under control. If it won't come when called, it should be on a short lead. Whatever kind of dog it is, if it is not under control the owner is committing an offence. And it is high time the law on this was enforced. Though I'm in favour of the new laws on XLs, even less large dogs can be a problem when not under control.

We had a Rottweiler. I always say, you have to respect the size & power of the dog. If my dog turned on a person /child could I stop it in that situation?! If no then we avoid the situation.

So sorry this happened. This is my worst nightmare. I worry so much as my dogs neck is head height for a bully and I just don't know what I'd do if this happened. I bet you had to pay for that wound closure yourself too?!!

I fear these situations may become more common until the ban cones in- dickhead owners trying to prove that it’s not their dog that’s the problem…. Just look how friendly and how much he wants to play with your children?!? It means they can play the victim when they’ve chosen to own what can, essentially, be a weapon.

Two of my dogs are extremely over friendly- and they do love playing with my friend’s children, and can be extremely boisterous. Guess what? They are on a lead unless I can guarantee there is no-one around. I don’t need to “prove” that they are friendly by them getting in some poor person’s space. Totally unacceptable in any circumstance, regardless of breed- and 100 times more so when there are children involved.

I look like a respectable old lady but my answer to "S/he is just being friendly" is "I didnt sign up to be part of your fucking dog's social life."

Just recently I saw an akito on a long lead knock down a toddler. The toddler's father was furious, took photos and was going to report it. The dog was "just saying hello." 🙄

@1month so my docile, elderly, well behaved dog, wandering around within my eyeline, with great recall, who is trained not to approach others, and is just wandering around our immediate area sniffing trees and minding her own business is the same as this dog? Got to disagree with you on this. If my dog had started to walk toward this dog I could have called her back to me immediately. It's not the same thing.

I'm 💯 with you OP, they should not have allowed their dog to approach your child. Noone should allow their dog to approach a child, or an adult for that matter, if they can't be trained not to, they should be on a lead. The owners response is concerning, if I saw an off lead Bully XL, we'd be leaving the park I think. They seem to often have owners that are complete dick heads like this one, it's not worth the risk when both owner and dog have the potential to be so volatile.

I love dogs but hate large powerful ones being off lead, I think all dogs over a certain size and weight should be muzzled in public. I know a labrador that was put to sleep for biting a child

This is exactly why all dogs off lead is are banned in our local big park. Whether in one of the play areas or not. It's not just children that get distressed it's the ducks swans and geese on the park lake as well. There was a swan killed at another local lake a few weeks ago. By two out of control off lead dog's. One was a staffie the other a XL bully. But that could have been a child.

But you can’t know that your dog would come straight back when called.

Every dog owner knows that off lead dogs have a chance of not coming back straight away, whether it’s because they’ve seen another dog, a person or small furry animal.

You’re judging this person for having their dog off the lead but then admit yours was off the lead wandering around itself.

You can’t have it both ways.

If you hadn’t said it was an XL bully then the other posters would all be saying the same thing.

There’s an utter idiot near me with an XL bully which is always escaping from the garden. Always somebody else’s fault of course! Bloody dog got in the primary school playing field last week and all the children had to go back inside until it was caught. Anyone criticising the idiot on the town Facebook site gets a tirade of abuse.

YABU for engaging with the owners . They have zero interest /ability to understand the danger these dogs pose to children . YANBU to have been scared for your child . The only solution for situations like these is to be hyper aware when out and to leave calmly and immediately when you see an XL bully. In my experience, their owners are to be avoided at all costs too.

This is exactly right!

A large powerful dog can be the most loving creature in the world, but the size and weight are enough to send a child (and often an adult) flying, and seriously injure them even if they don't mean to.

@1month I agree. Had this post been made without referencing the breed of dog then it would have gone another way entirely. I don't think the problem is so much of what the dog did but rather what breed it was.

I was just saying on another post that dog owners really annoy me when they claim their dog is "friendly" or "harmless" as they're charging or barking at you. As the general public WE DONT KNOW THAT. That dog owner was definitely in the wrong and id be fuming but to be fair you left your dog unattended and off the lead too and now trying to justify it by saying shes fine, shes old and listens to your command; again we don't know that. How hard is it to keep your dogs on a lead in public places.

People don’t buy XL Bulldogs as a PR exercise. They do it because they have a need to feel superior to others, to feel more powerful. It helps to cover up (but really exposes) their deep seated inferiority complex.

So no, you can’t educate them, or reason with them, or debate calmly and come to a compromise, because the entire point of the dog is to be a method of gaining power for the owner.

You could argue that this owner wasn’t like that because he was talking about how playful his dog was, but no, he enjoyed having an excuse to get angry at you, enjoyed lecturing you and enjoyed scaring you and your children.

It’s about power. Same as guns. Same as Hummers. Same as any of the aggressive things that people buy to make themselves feel big and important and superior.

No he died. He couldn’t be saved from his many injuries including internal bleeding and a broken back.

YANBU.
With all the recent publicity you’d think that anyone who owned an XL Bully, no matter how friendly they considered it to be, would have the common sense to keep it on a lead at all times when they were out and about amongst other people.

so sorry

@SaturdayGiraffe That is stereotyping. That is like saying people only have a chihuahua to feel inferior!

@Mari9999 we were in an area of the park that isn't designated for children's play. When we are in the playground my dog is always on a lead. We were in a wooded area of the park, as described in my post. Should my well behaved dog, who minds her business, who doesn't approach people uninvited, who has good recall, and isn't aggressive be on a lead all the time? Or is it reasonable for my dog to be off lead under supervision and under control? My dog may have been off lead, and wandering around within my eyeline, but she doesn't approach people, she just sniffs about. It's not the same thing as a very young dog, who bounds up to people uninvited because they aren't trained. Especially when they are from breeds prone to instability and aggression.

What a terrible way to lose your lovely dog. I'm so very sorry.

My own belief is that these "bully" dogs attract idiots who want to look "big" and criminals who effectively weaponise them. Sadly, neither of these categories tends to bother even trying to train their dogs properly. I truly think that every one of them is a ticking time bomb. They are deliberately bred to be large and aggressive. Horrible creatures.