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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

XL Bully "just wants to play!"

201 replies

PumpkinSly · 08/10/2023 17:40

I was in the local park today with my 4 and 6 year old children. We have a medium sized dog ourselves. She's a bit of an old lady now so just potters about having a sniff. There was a couple with a baby walking their huge XL bully dog around the park. The first time we crossed their path the dog was on a lead but their dog was pulling strongly on the lead to try to investigate either my dog, or my children. The owner was all too willing to "let the dog say hello". I'm not comfortable with huge dogs approaching my kids or my dog so I moved everyone along very quickly and didn't engage with the dog or the owners. The next time we crossed their path the dog was off lead. It wasn't acting aggressively but it bounded up to my DD. My children were playing in a small wooded area of the park where there are felled trees for them to climb. I was helping my 6 yr old DS on one bit of the logs, while my 4 yr old dd was playing a few meters away. The dog bounded up to her and she was visibly scared. The owner was making comments about how much the dog loves kids and how playful he is etc, but to me it was a huge powerful dog that was scaring my child and it shouldn't be approaching kids at all. I told the owner that his dog shouldn't be allowed to approach children and to get it on a lead away from my kids. The owner went absolutely ballistic. Telling me that he just wants to play with them, that he loves kids, that I was prejudice against American bully dogs because of the news, that his dog is friendly, that my children should be better educated in how to handle dogs who approach them in a friendly way, and that I was an irresponsible dog owner because my dog was unsupervised while my children were playing. It's true that my dog wanders around doing her own thing but she is 11, she doesn't go far, I can always see her having a sniff about, and her recall is very good. The XL Bully became very energetic in response to the owners outburst and charged at my DD knocking her the ground. It wasn't aggressive, just boisterous and spurred on by the atmosphere and the owners response to me. The owner then grabbed his dog and left very quickly, while I was left to sort out my distressed DD. AIBU to think the owners of these massive dogs should have better awareness than to let them approach kids? Was I wrong to tell the owner to get his dog away from my children? The dog was at least three times the weight of my 4 year old, if not more, it was at least as tall as her when on all fours, and she was clearly scared by this dog because as soon as she realised it was there she called out for me and backed away.

OP posts:
PumpkinSly · 08/10/2023 18:05

It all happened to quickly for me to think about recording it. And the dog wasn't aggressive, but very boisterous, I'm not sure it would be taken seriously if I reported it? It was a young dog. But I've seen these types of dogs get out of control from play. If they aren't socialised they don't learn the limits. I don't know if that dog is well socialised or not. I don't want dog owners using my kids as a way to socialise their young dog. Given the reputation of the breed I'd rather they didn't approach my kids, my dog, or myself.

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 08/10/2023 18:05

PumpkinSly · 08/10/2023 17:55

@funinthesun19 The number of parents I see encouraging their small children and toddlers to approach my dog is baffling. My dog is lovely. Very gentle and soft, and cute looking. When we're in the playground she is on a lead and will happily sit so people can fuss over her. But not all dogs are like that. Some dogs hate it. I've had to remind so many parents that children should always ask if they can pet someone's dog and they look at me like I'm a complete dickhead.

I completely agree with you. My children thankfully won’t go near dogs in public as it’s been drummed in to them. You just never know.

And then you get idiots like him with his big XL Bully dog trying to prove a point to the world that it’s a nice friendly breed and lets it approach everyone, even a 4 year old. Makes me so mad.

WonderingWanda · 08/10/2023 18:08

The owner sounds like a total prick who wanted to create a confrontation. He'd seen you walk past and ignore him and his dog and came seeking a row by allowing his dog to run up to you. It has always pissed me off when people let their dogs run up to kids and say 'it's ok, he's friendly'. I would report him to the police for intimidating behaviour.

HamstersAreMyLife · 08/10/2023 18:08

Yanbu. My 8yo recently got knocked over and terrified by a very friendly and rambunctious weimaraner. I was so upset and he's now scared every time we see a dog, all for the sake of someone not being able to realise not everyone wants to play with their pet. I'm not a massive dog fan I admit but I have friends with impeccably behaved dogs and I honestly can't understand who thinks it's acceptable to let a dog approach someone else's child (or picnic but I've moaned about that many times on MN)

Sigmama · 08/10/2023 18:08

I don't go near any dog that looks like it could do harm, I don't know why people own them, small dogs I don't mind

BellaAndDave · 08/10/2023 18:09

I should have added by the way the male owner reacted this dog is just clearly an extension of his dick. Sorry to be crude.

sqirrelfriends · 08/10/2023 18:16

Ducksinthebath · 08/10/2023 17:43

Not unreasonable at all. I bet the aggressive owner was mortified you were proved right.

They’re always friendly and playful until they’re proved not to be.

Viviennemary · 08/10/2023 18:16

I think dogs should be banned from all public places. It's dog problems, dog killings dog attacks every day. Hopefully there will at least be a ban on those dangerous killer dogs.

Mimilamore · 08/10/2023 18:17

We were in a park today, there is a lake with a paddling area, our granddaughter was in the water along with about 4 other children... a couple of men and a child came along with a very big dog. The dog was let off the lead to go into the water along with the child.
He was a massive dog and very energetic, bounding up to children. The owner was asked if he was a Mastiff by another person and loudly announced that he was an XL bully but was only a puppy and very friendly.... we left the water shortly after that. He was a powerful dog, out of control of the owner and at risk of knocking the children over even if he was ' only wanting to play' Just felt wrong that he was there.

Peachpicklepie · 08/10/2023 18:19

Their dog shouldn't have been allowed to knock your DD over. But you also shouldn't have your dog mooching around off lead and unsupervised while you helped your children. You know your dog has good recall, others don't, and that's irrelevant if you're not actually watching your dog.

Inkpotlover · 08/10/2023 18:23

Excuse the Daily Fail thread, but this story proves exactly why everyone, including XL bully owners, knows they are an extremely dangerous breed of dog. A group of owners met for a protest at a park in Leicester - and judging by the pictures they all left their dogs at home! Presumably because they knew they couldn't marshal a group of them in one place together without them attacking each other…

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12607727/xl-bully-owners-urge-rishi-sunak-reconsider-ban-park-protest.html

XL Bully owners urge Rishi Sunak to 're-think' ban in park protest

A large group descended at a park in Leicester for an angry protest in a bid to help overturn the PM's proposal to outlaw the controversial Bully breed.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12607727/xl-bully-owners-urge-rishi-sunak-reconsider-ban-park-protest.html

feellikeanalien · 08/10/2023 18:23

My DD has SN. She is now terrified of dogs as a result of "playful dogs" jumping at her on a number of occasions. She will get as far away as possible if she sees any dog approaching her now even if it is on a lead.

Sunshineandrainbow · 08/10/2023 18:24

Ynbu should not have been allowed to happen.

I went to m and s food shop on Friday night. There was an xl bully with a man walking round the food. But it was allowed as it had a service dog bib on it!??!! Easily available on ebay! I left very quickly not becuase I was scared just because I wasn't comfortable with a dog sniffing the Peppers.

vapesareforsnakes · 08/10/2023 18:28

Some people are absolute arsehole especially when it comes to dogs.

Truffles15 · 08/10/2023 18:29

I am so sorry BellaandDave.

Azaeleasinbloom · 08/10/2023 18:30

Totally unacceptable OP. If you have a dog warden, report this man and his dog. Our local warden would probably investigate by visiting the area you met the dog a few times and observing. She’s very proactive.
No excuse for any dog being allowed to bounce up to a child , and it does not help the XL Bully cause that the owner could not prevent it.

I don’t come across XLs where I walk , but there are a couple of large American bull breeds locally and they kick off every time I meet them with one or both labs. I cannot see the attraction of these aggressive breeds at all.

echinaceadreams · 08/10/2023 18:31

Inkpotlover · 08/10/2023 18:23

Excuse the Daily Fail thread, but this story proves exactly why everyone, including XL bully owners, knows they are an extremely dangerous breed of dog. A group of owners met for a protest at a park in Leicester - and judging by the pictures they all left their dogs at home! Presumably because they knew they couldn't marshal a group of them in one place together without them attacking each other…

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12607727/xl-bully-owners-urge-rishi-sunak-reconsider-ban-park-protest.html

Did they not bring their dogs?! How ironic

sunnyseed · 08/10/2023 18:31

What these idiot owners don’t seem to realise is not everyone is comfortable around big aggressive looking dogs, whether they are friendly or not. My DH was viciously attacked by a dog when he was a child and he hates being around boisterous dogs even today. An XL bully dog might be friendly but I wouldn’t trust any dog 100%, even if it were my own and these dogs have the ability to kill a small child if they suddenly flipped, which these dogs evidently have the tendency to do.

BellaAndDave · 08/10/2023 18:32

Sunshineandrainbow · 08/10/2023 18:24

Ynbu should not have been allowed to happen.

I went to m and s food shop on Friday night. There was an xl bully with a man walking round the food. But it was allowed as it had a service dog bib on it!??!! Easily available on ebay! I left very quickly not becuase I was scared just because I wasn't comfortable with a dog sniffing the Peppers.

This is a new ploy by owners. I’m on many assistance dog support pages and they think by having them labelled as assistance dogs their dogs won’t be classed as a banned breed. (Not that XL bullies are a recognised breed anyway). It’s absolutely ridiculous and there really needs to be register of sorts for owner trained assistance dogs as any dog can be passed off as an assistance dog at the moment.

Pottomous2 · 08/10/2023 18:33

I’m sick of people allowing their dog off lead to approach people when and how they like Because “he likes to play” . Playing is a two way thing, and you need to know the other person or dog actually wants to play. People are pushing their animals and children into an impossible situation which is leading to harm, it’s madness. Dogs react when kids are scared. People react badly when they fear for their kids. So just keep dogs on a lead and away from others unless they give permission for the doc to approach them.

Spanne · 08/10/2023 18:34

Do you think a march is a suitable place for a dog? Mine would be petrified of all the strangers and noise.

Dogs, of any kind, should not be allowed to approach other dogs or any humans unless invited. Well done on being able to recognise an XL bully. Not many can.

unicornpower · 08/10/2023 18:35

Absolutely you were in the right. We live in a busy tourist town and I went to the local market last week with my two children in a double buggy and our dopey Labrador. We were walking around and there was a women struggling to control a reactive Akita (they scare too tbh) and an XL Bully puppy that how was already enormous but seemed friendly enough. She walked past us twice and both times the Akita lunged and barked at my lab who was minding his own business. The woman was just screaming at this dog to behave which told me all about the kind of owner she was!

any out of control dog is scary, no matter the breed but the sheer size of XL bullies is terrifying, especially when I have two very young children with me

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/10/2023 18:36

I read a post on MN, on a different thread about XL Bullies, from someone who had experience or knowledge about these dogs, who said that they can be as sweet and soft as anything but when they hit about three years old, it’s as if a switch flips, and they become aggressive and dangerous.

Even before I read that, I would not have criticised anyone who didn’t want an off lead XL bully approaching them - but that absolutely confirmed it for me.

Vegetus · 08/10/2023 18:38

I'm not an anxious person but I'm considering carrying a legal sized pen knife on my keys just in case I ever come across one of these fucking things. Not sure I'd be able to use it and hopefully I'd never need too but I've seen the videos and these beasts aren't going to be stopped by blunt force.

Gowlett · 08/10/2023 18:41

I was absolutely terrified of dogs when I was a four year old. It’s only in recent years that I’m okay with them (I’m not really keen on animals in general, TBH). I don’t want my child to be afraid of them, but no way would I allow him near big dogs.

BIL has a one of these huge dogs (I don’t even know what it is, but it’s absolutely massive, huge head & jaws). Looking at pictures of it is even scary. I wouldn’t go to his house in a million years… I imagine he would react the same way your park guy did.