To not want my dd using these words?

[tiredmum9]

One of my dds (8 years old) has started describing people as dinlos or divs. She's picked this up from her nan, and as someone who tries hard not to pass on swearing to her kids it really irks me, i know it's not as severe as real swearing but its still name calling. Do your kids use these kind of words and do you allow it?

Least its not cunt

I say, I find your behaviour offensive. I think you're being obtuse/patronising/silly etc
I would never say idiot. div, chav or all the other insults I see being bandied about.
And I struggle that any reasonable people that think an 8 year old should have a command of those words.

Not pleasant words. Tell her no and exactly why, she’s old enough to understand.
Then have a word with your mum.

So what you're asking is "AIBU not to want my child to call other people dumb or slow?"

Strange question but the answer is obviously no.

Dinlo might originate from Romany but it is used regularly in Portsmouth.

You're such a din!
What a fucking dinlo.
Don't be dinny!

Are you from the Portsmouth area by chance?

I don't think it helps what she's watching on tv. When she's at mine I can monitor what she's watching, but I know when she's round her friend's house she watches stuff I wouldn't approve of. Stuff that's a vile excuse for kids TV

No, from bradford

It might be useful to focus more on why you don't like the use of words rather than specific words, or you just move the problem around. If you don't think it's appropriate to call people stupid - why not? For example, if someone has lower intellect than you then criticising that is using your own privilege to disadvantage another. If they are not actually stupid then you're lying. It is important not to be unkind nor to lie.

You don't need to "call" people anything except their name, and sinking below their level doesn't help anyone. If you don't like a behaviour, then you criticise the behaviour rather than the person. E.g. "I don't like it when you shout at me, can we discuss whatever has annoyed you calmly please."

Stuff that's a vile excuse for kids TV

If you know this, why do you continue to let it happen?

I get it OP, it's not about the word, it's about the intention. Which in this case, is to make someone feel inferior. It's derogatory and hurtful to call people names. It doesn't matter whether it's eejit or arsehole, a label is a label regardless.

What am I meant to do? March to her friends house and snatch the remote away?

She's your daughter. Of course you're not being unreasonable to tell her to stop saying certain words.

I couldn't stand it when some children in my class would push out their lower lip with their tongue when certain other children in the class would speak.

When I talked to the offending children's parents they weren't bothered in the least.

Says it all really.

I find the whole swear word Vs non swear work issue a weird one.

I am not sure why or how swear words became sweet works or why they are deemed offensive.

for me irs always context

stump toe on hoover “ shit “

is very different to calling someone a piece of shit.

and I see no difference in someone called someone a piece of shit then I do them calling them a piece of Poo.

so in this case it’s not about whether they are not swear words but the fact she is being rude and insulting people.

I say, I find your behaviour offensive. I think you're being obtuse/patronising/silly etc

So your response to (eg) someone knocking your phone out of your hand into (eg) your drink would be "That was silly."

Mhmm. And I can guarantee that those people will look at you and think "fucking div" 😁

I see the phrase 'hard of thinking' all the time on MN. I think this is far worse to be honest. It essentially means the same as Div but is extra smug and condescending.

I think name calling is wrong in any language. Teach her not to label and name call others.

Her nan must be a thoroughly unpleasant person if she feels these words are normal usage.

Be careful @Startre28 - I found out this morning on another thread that poo is now considered racist…! (as opposed to ‘just’ an insult)

@TeenLifeMum YABVU to allow your DCs to hate Marmite 😂

I don't know where/who you hang out with, but I guarantee you, if someone accidentally knocked my phone into my tea and apologized, and there was no serious damage, that would be the end. And no one would think div.And if they were they crass to think it, they certainly wouldn't blurt it out.

Good manners cost nothing.

Dammit. I was gonna say 'tell me you're from Portsmouth without telling me you're from Portsmouth'.

🤣

I’ve never heard of dinlo but div is unpleasant and rude. I wouldn’t be happy with a GP using those words around my child