Page 38 | To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

FullMoomin · 2023-10-08T04:10:41+00:00

Having a panic attack. I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!! I should have saved this money for DC! If I had saved it, I could give it to them. Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18! Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will. Oh help, really panicking. I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them. The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc. Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it. Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

Hufflepods · 09/10/2023 22:22

@ConsuelaHammock What if instead of saving I spend my money on a new lease car or an annual holiday? Can I claim CB now?

Literally yes, that is more palatable for some!
The only way you could possibly afford to save £100 a month for your children is if you are insanely wealthy (but still on less than £50k somehow) or your children have apparently lost out and been disadvantaged by your tightfistedness.
It couldn’t possibly just be a balanced middle ground where you live within your means and plan for the future.

villagelife77 · 09/10/2023 22:22

Well then that’s not high earners then is it.

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:25

@Hufflepods tbh if it wasn't meant to help with essentials then I think it should be. It shouldn't be squandered or saved when we have other things that tax money could be used for. I do see how incentives like CB could be helpful if the country decides it needs a population boost though if it were shown to incentivise people having children. I just think there are better things.

Boysnme · 09/10/2023 22:27

I actually hate the way CB tax is calculated. It is very unfair on one person earning £60k vs two earning £49k. However with everything whatever they do it won’t be fair to someone.

OP you need to look at it in a different way. If they told you they were saving £80 a month and hadn’t said it was CB would you be bothered? Essentially they have still paid for nappies etc out of their salaries. It’s not like those cost have just disappeared and ultimately you just have different financial positions. They can afford to save and you can’t.

if they are earning as much as you say they are they will be paying it back in tax anyway.

T1Dmama · 09/10/2023 22:27

Child benefit does not stop at 16… it will continue while they’re at college/full time education.
Child benefit is for the parent not the child… great that some people can afford to put it in Ann account for their DC, most can’t.

Hufflepods · 09/10/2023 22:28

@Newmumatlast but where are you getting that it is actually intended for essentials? If that was the case it would just be a branch of universal credit or would have the same cut off used for free school meals. But that’s not the case because that isn’t the goal. It’s essentially a tax break for having dependents, which the majority of countries offer in their tax structure.

People are going on about piano lessons and trips out, most people seem to think that’s acceptable but saving isn’t when actually neither option is an essential.

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:29

@ConsuelaHammock actually how tax is spent is the business of tax payers. By that I don't mean the minutiae of the spend I.e. what exactly people spend theirs (or save theirs) on, but whether it is actually a useful needed benefit or not which if people don't need it for spending on their kids it arguably isnt.

Uggtrending · 09/10/2023 22:29

@villagelife77 98k as a joint income is substantial infact I would be grateful to have a partner who brought in any additional income to mine. Quite frankly I think you and others need to see the BIGGER picture instead of being petti over £80. Good Lord ...

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:30

@Hufflepods some people may not take issue with certain spends as long as it isnt being saved. That's not me though. I think either ot should be paid to only those who really need it or everyone if it is really a tax break for dependents and nothing to do with how it is spent.

ConsuelaHammock · 09/10/2023 22:32

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:29

@ConsuelaHammock actually how tax is spent is the business of tax payers. By that I don't mean the minutiae of the spend I.e. what exactly people spend theirs (or save theirs) on, but whether it is actually a useful needed benefit or not which if people don't need it for spending on their kids it arguably isnt.

Why don’t you start a petition to abolish CB? It really seems to annoy you that 89% of families in the UK are getting a tax break. Only 11% of families don’t claim it. It’s essentially a universal benefit.

Hufflepods · 09/10/2023 22:32

@Newmumatlast let me guess, the new cut off should be just above what you earn?

ConsuelaHammock · 09/10/2023 22:35

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:30

@Hufflepods some people may not take issue with certain spends as long as it isnt being saved. That's not me though. I think either ot should be paid to only those who really need it or everyone if it is really a tax break for dependents and nothing to do with how it is spent.

So you’d accept CB but you don’t need it. But think that those who do claim it and can save for their children should pay it back or not claim it at all? Ok then !

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:36

@Hufflepods I don't get CB so no I'm not arguing for a cut off above what I earn. I just think if it is meant to be a tax break for people with dependents it should be for everyone but actually I think the better position would be for only those who actually need it to get it and then the saved tax be spent on something more useful like increasing other welfare where it is more needed.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 09/10/2023 22:36

I didn’t save it, it was spent on the kids and you have spent it the way it was intended to be spent, on the children. Food, clothing, heating, accommodation, hobbies and the odd treat. If you had saved it you’d have had to find the money somehow to afford those things.
Your friends are the unreasonable ones, they obviously didn’t need the money if they could afford to save it.

No use dwelling it now, you can’t magic it back so stop discussing it with them.

ConsuelaHammock · 09/10/2023 22:36

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:30

@Hufflepods some people may not take issue with certain spends as long as it isnt being saved. That's not me though. I think either ot should be paid to only those who really need it or everyone if it is really a tax break for dependents and nothing to do with how it is spent.

Why didn’t you just say you want it too!

YireosDodeAver · 09/10/2023 22:36

Don't be ridiculous.

Your child has benefited from the chilf benefit by having the food, clothes and other essentials throughout their childhood. This is exactly what child benefit is for and is exactly how the vast majority is spent.

Wealthy people who don't need the money get child benefit too. It's not really fair but it's a good thing that it's not a means-tested benefit because some of the very poorest families wouldn't claim if it was meand tested, and some of the most deprived kids would suffer and even die. Making sure that those poorest kids get the benefit they need to survive comes at the cost of your wealthy mates getting a benefit they never needed. That's a bit shit butnot your problem.

It was not wrong of you to spend the money. That's what it's for. You perhaps aren't in the poorest group but you still would have struggled to meet all the expenses of your kids childhood without it. So fine. You don't have to "make it up" to your child that they don't come from a wealthy family. Most people don't.

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:37

@ConsuelaHammock I never once said I'd accept it. Based on someone saying it was effectively a tax break for those with dependents I said that it should be for everyone or only those who need it. But my personal position is the latter.

Newmumatlast · 09/10/2023 22:40

@ConsuelaHammock I actually don't want it. I don't think it should be paid to people who don't need it. I believe in a society where the welfare state helps those who actually do. It is possible to be a high earner and think that way, shockingly.

TedMullins · 09/10/2023 22:45

I mean this in the nicest possible way OP. You say your kids have SEN and may not be self-sufficient in adulthood, so I’m assuming their needs mean they might not be able to work, or at least not climb the ladder in a corporate career, or may not be able to live independently. If that’s the case, what real difference would a 20k lump sum make to them? If it was used as a deposit they’d still need to be working to pay a mortgage. If they need extra support, be that counselling, carers etc, 20k won’t last very long on that. I’m sorry if I’ve misunderstood what you meant about their additional needs but if you say they might not be self-sufficient then I’m not seeing how a lump sum could “set them up” in a conventional sense.

I also agree with everyone else saying you spent it on exactly what it’s intended for. I’m the (now adult, obviously) child of poor parents, a lot of what you said reminds me of my own childhood - tiny bedroom with only a single bed, kitchen big enough for one person to use at a time. I grew up in an undecorated house with bare plaster walls because my parents stripped the gross 70s woodchip when they bought the place and could never afford to do any more decorating or renovation. I was never given any lump sums or financial help beyond my mum chucking me a hundred quid here and there for a month’s living while I was at uni. I also some additional difficulties (mental health conditions and ADHD rather than SEN or anything physical) but I now out earn my parents, own my own flat and have a decent career. You really haven’t failed them or done anything wrong. Your friends sound quite money and status obsessed and not representative of the majority.

Ruffpuff · 09/10/2023 22:47

This is a hill I will die on.

Many friends from baby groups mentioned they were saving their CB for their children in the future. Good for them.
I have relied on that bloody CB every month from birth just to keep feeding my child- I’m earning double what I did when he was born, but my circumstances keep changing (for the worst thanks to cost of living shit). I have been unable to save, I spend the last few days of the month with less that £10 in my bank! I refuse to feel more guilt than I already do, because I can’t physically work more/harder than I already am. I am setting a good example to him with my work ethic and hopefully in the next few years my salary will go up. Hopefully, I will be in a position to help him out when he’s older- but if not then he will have to make his own way, like me.

ashitghost · 09/10/2023 22:53

I’ve spent all mine too. Never occurred to me to do otherwise.

Pinkfluff76 · 09/10/2023 23:01

What the actual fuck. Your friends who’ve saved the money… if they could afford to save it then why did they receive it? We don’t receive a penny because we earn enough. Good to know where our tax money is going, to people who happily receive something they don’t need (fuming, can you tell?!)

ConsuelaHammock · 09/10/2023 23:30

Pinkfluff76 · 09/10/2023 23:01

What the actual fuck. Your friends who’ve saved the money… if they could afford to save it then why did they receive it? We don’t receive a penny because we earn enough. Good to know where our tax money is going, to people who happily receive something they don’t need (fuming, can you tell?!)

89% of families get CB. You’re angry at the wrong people!

Uggtrending · 09/10/2023 23:36

@Ruffpuff why are you taking what peo9le tell you for gospel? Maybe in 2 years time they won't save because there circumstances have changed. I mean anything could happen. That's life we all earn different salaries it's not really about £80 because realistically that wouldn't even cover my CT bill. It's likely your salary that is either higher or lower than others

Takeabreather23 · 09/10/2023 23:37

I don’t know anyone either who did this .
Why not put what you can each month from
now untill then for say help with first car that’s all most 18 year olds want at that age .
Again too much money at that age is crazy.

I wouldn’t be trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Just spend the money on what makes your son happy and also what he needs the rest will fall into place when it’s ment to .