To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

All the people saying that nobody who receives child benefit should be able to save any money are completely batshit.

What are you talking about? The entire point of child benefit is that you USE it, to bring the child up well; food, nappies, school books etc etc.

Your "friends" that have saved it are very very VERY unusual, not you.
Bully for them being able to afford to do that; extremely rare.

I haven't saved ours either. Spent it as needed - have saved some money separately which is being used towards uni accommodation costs we have to pay now.

Aww don't feel guilty love. My mum used to spend the child benefit on 200 fags every week. Literally, cashed the giro and then bought the fags in the same shop. We have turned out alright!

I never considered saving it, I used it for it’s intention, supporting my child with her expensive horse hobby.

I don’t feel guilty at all and you shouldn’t.

I haven’t saved any of mine either. It gets spent on what they need, when they were younger it was nappies, wipes, formula etc. Now they’re older it gets used on pocket money, gymnastics, martial arts, swimming etc. I also use it for uniforms and school trips.

So exactly what it’s meant for. No one I know has ever saved theirs for their children. Everyone I know needs it and is on a lower income like myself.

If they didn't use it then they didn't need it! We used to get it and it before the cap was brought in and it went on things we needed.

Child benefit is meant to help you look after your children. It's not intended as savings for them.

If you can afford to save it, fine, if you use it to help run your household, fine.

It's not owed to your children, it's not theirs. It's yours to use for your family's best interests.

Why? It’s not mandatory to save & present child with a lump sum. CB is not a saving scheme it’s meant to be saved
@FullMoomin doesn’t need to start saving at all(unless she vehemently wants to and can afford to)
Frankly if one can save all CB I’d query why it’s awarded.

@prawntail This post has ruined my evening! CB is not for saving. It’s to help with cost of raising a child. I would be so disappointed with any of my friends who had saved it

You would be “so disappointed” if any of your friends earning under the CB threshold managed to save some money for their children’s future??

Take a deep breath OP

You absolutely have not failed your child. You have used child benefit exactly what it was intended for, to provide for your children.

Neither my husband or I were given a big payment of saved up child benefit and we’ve managed just fine. (And to be honest the one friend I know who received such a payment at 18 blew it all on holidays and nights out, they’ve moved back in with parents to save for a house. So it’s not always life changing).

I haven’t been saving the child benefit I receive for DD (I use it to make up the shortfall in my earnings for her nursery fees). I’m doing what’s right for us now, which is exactly what you have done.

You have provided for your children. You’ve done everything right. They will be absolutely fine! Big hugs xx

Child benefit is intended to cover the day to day costs of raising a child, and it sounds as though you've spent it exactly as you should have done. It's not meant to provide a nest egg for teenagers! Your friends who've treated it that way are clearly lucky enough not to have actually needed the money for all these years, which is probably a good argument for abolishing the benefit altogether.

It sticks in the craw that money that is meant to go towards raising a child is being put in savings accounts by those that don't actually need it.
This benefit really should be means tested.

Yes.

@sgtmajormum This benefit really should be means tested.

It is 🤦‍♀️

It's called Child Beneft so you can give your kids extras that you would struggle to pay for otherwise. It's not meant to be saved as a gift for when they're 18.

Yabu for panicking about it. Sounds like you’ve used it as intended. What others do with their money shouldn’t be of any concern.

I’m not sure how the voting goes!

I voted YABU because you spent the money on what the kids needed and you have no need to feel guilty that that’s how it’s been spent. Ours has all been spent on what they’ve needed too.

Unless my maths are incorrect, 20, 000 over 12 years is only 4.6 pence a day, It’s easily spent

There’s no way that your 14 friends with these extremely affluent lifestyles qualify for child benefit, unless their incomes come from some very dodgy source that HMRC don’t know about.
Are your friends drug smugglers, people traffickers, or Tory party donors?

But that's what it's for? Otherwise it would be called 'Young Adult Benefit' and be paid to them direct. If you've been spending it on scratch cards and cigarettes you're a bad person, but nappies and school uniforms, stop beating yourself up for no reason!

I was thinking this myself. Wealthy friends never touched their dd's chb
They gave it to her when she went to uni.
They also used the PDSA for their pet's illnesses, it's all changed now, and you have to prove your income, but they took full advantage of it back then.
OP I was the same as you, my dd and I had great fun shopping with it when she needed new trainers etc. it never occurred to me to put it away.
However, she lived rent free with me so she could save a deposit for a house