To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

Have you spend £20000 on drugs and hookers?
Have you spend £20000 on clothes and food for the kids?

You are missing the point. They are saying "i saved the child benefit". In reality, they had more spare money than you, meaning they saved some.

You used the CB exactly as intended. Id argue if all these people are managing to save it, the means test threshold to receive it is too high. The government doesn't need to be paying well off middle class families to create trust funds for their DC.

Stop being ridiculous. If you are able to start saving it now.

Why?

I would imagine very few people are in a position to save child benefit. We only recently started to save for when our kids are older and we both have decent jobs. I wouldn’t be giving an 18 year old 20K anyway, we are saving for their college now but my eldest in 11.

A family with an income of £98k and a lower tax burden could still get child benefit whilst a family with one high earner on £60k will pay more tax and get no child benefit.

I do think this is a problem tbh.

OMG!! what if they are,
er....not smoking
not drinking
not running a car
so they save the money

How could you tell?

Yes I’m aware of that. What do you mean??

echt · Today 10:46

TooOldForThisNonsense · Today 10:44

Only starts to be if one parent earns more than £50k. If many people are still qualifying for it and it gets squirreled away as a nest egg the threshold needs lowered.
Show quote history
Why?

Because the government can't even afford to house the poorest properly. Money needs to go where its needed most - there's a fucking huge list of higher priorities than enabling middle class parents to give their DC 20k when they turn 18. Like funding schools and hospitals

I'm a single parent/ carer to my severely disabled child (he's 13 now).
Saving child benefit was never an option for me.
If I had saved it, they would have gone without food. It's 2 weeks worth of food for us.

Many poster have said what the intention of the spending of CB is. There is no intention.

Or you could try thinking about how much worse your children's early years would have been without that money.

I mean if you've spent it on loads of takeaways and frivolous bits then perhaps some guilt would be justified.

But if it's enabled you to provide for them and is the difference between your household managing fine or not then I don't understand.

Do you have £140 a month free in your household budget to set aside for the kids? If the answer is no it doesn't matter whether you class this money as coming from child benefit or your wages, you didn't have it to give.

CB has no intention as to spending. It's an award for having a child.

Well we were never high earners so our child benefit wasn’t stashed away it was used weekly but I do think it shouldn’t be used as some kind of trust fund

You haven’t let your DC down but you have to accept that lots of people do regularly save for their DC from a young age, how else will they afford uni, car etc.? We save monthly plus any extra money they get for birthdays etc. (until they are old enough to want to spend it themselves.)

@FullMoomin

As others have said, the money was there to spend on them.

The long term effects of growing up with the benefit of this money will outweigh being handed 20k at 18 (if that meant growing up in financial insecurity).

So relax. Easier said than done, I know. I usually need a plan or remedy to move on from when I feel I've made some sort of mistake...

I have seen a lot of parents hand over around 20k when their kids reached 18. In my experience it's too much too young. I've watched it wasted on failed attempts at FE, new cars bought that immediately depreciate (cars are a terrible way to spend a lump sum that may never be repeated), once in a lifetime trips to celebrate turning 18. Totally wasteful and transient things...

If your child can be supported through FE through family support and getting their own job/student loans etc, then 25 is a much better age to have a windfall. If they aren't going into FE it may also be better to work through those first demands of the transition to adult life without the ease of throwing 20k at those first steps. It's the age of biological maturity rather than the accepted 18. It's a time when deposits for homes are a higher priority, or starting a business. Something where the money will be an investment into lasting security.

So, if you have the means (and I appreciate that beyond 18, the CB won't be there) could you start saving for them, with the goal of handing over at 25 and get an extra 7 years? Share account details with family who might add the odd fiver, it all adds up. With all savings it's about consistency over time, even with small amounts, and the cumulative benefits.

Note of caution: certain accounts have to be handed over to children when they turn 18, so to do this, you either need to trust that your kids agree to your plan or put it in your own name, or look at other means of having it in trust.

Why does the fact that some people on a particular income can save the money mean that others on that income won't need it to make ends meet? You must know we live in a society with vast discrepancy in housing costs, for example.

Why not? It's still to support the child.

It’s why there are Kids Regular Savers and Junior ISAs etc.

Well with that logic OP it would be 10k each not 20k. And you used it for what it was for. It's not supposed to be saved. I couldn't save it. Especially with the cost of living now. Its helped pay towards child care, or the school trips, school swimming lessons etc.

i meant the level of angst. ffs shove the money up your arse for all i care. but the money is to help families with the cost if raising their children.

I agree with PP, giving them an amount at 18 to waste is ridiculous.

We could afford to save ours, but we don't. Instead we will be helping them with driving lessons, house deposits as our mortgage will be paid off in the future.

Don't beat yourself up OP.

I earn £22k as a single parent and I can afford to save my child benefit so where would you start the threshold?

It's outgoings that make the difference to whether you can save or not, not income. I have very low outgoings which is why I don't necessarily struggle on a low income.

I was surprised when my friend told me she saved her sons CB. She already has over £3,000 saved and he’s only 3. But then she’ll ask for clothes for him for his birthday and Christmas because she doesn’t want to buy them herself- I think it’s wrong to give young child clothes as gifts just to save the parents money- that is what the CB should be for.
Its a good idea if you can genuinely afford it but not at the expense of your child missing out on things like clubs or days out.
If people have that much disposable income then maybe they don’t actually need the money.

CB has no intention other than as an award for having a child. Look on the CB website. The UK government doesn't tell people how to spend it virtuously.

Your examples of school trips and swimming lessons are no better than those who choose to save. They are no more necessary.