To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

OP, you say you have 4 more years of CB so your DC are not adults yet. It's not too late to start saving for them if you can afford it and if you want to.

There is lots of advice online about saving for children's future - and interest rates are the highest they have been for over a decade so you should get a better return now than you would have done 12 years ago (albeit inflation is also higher now).

You could look at opening a Junior ISA or premium bonds for starters. Or look at Martin Lewis for other ideas.

If someone doesn't actually need that money to live surely they shouldn't be entitled to claim it though?
The rules round CB need to be changed, especially the disparity between single person/couple qualifying criteria.

Well, I am. But I don't.

@Sehenswürdigkeiten You could read the thread instead of asking people to repeat themselves.

Stop weighing in to comments not directed at you if you’re going to moan about repeating yourself then.

This is just perception, so your friends have saved for their children, that's not unusual if you have the funds to do so. The child benefit money just goes in the pot surely?
We save around £100 a month for DS and got £96 every 4 weeks CB. Now not eligible as my salary increased. We still save for him. So you might've said I was saving his child benefit, but that can't be the case now as we don't receive it.
Child benefit goes into the family budget, you save what you can and spend what you need to.

OP seriously you need to calm down. What you have given your children is far greater than money - security, clean clothes, food on the table, experiences, an education. Why should they get a hand out at 18? Sorry but adults need to WORK for their money, not get it given to them by their parents. It's not time for them to do their bit and 'pay you back' for everything you have done by being good, hardworking adults, whether the is by going into further education or straight into work.

Eh?

The only people I know who stashed it away are no longer entitled to it because their income is too high. If you look at the total cost of raising a child 20k is quite a small ropeotion of it. If you look at how much you spend on food or clothes over 16 years you’re likely to think omg but they’re necessities

I am mostly replying to comments where I was quoted. Who else was that directed at? Is it only 'weighing in' when it's an opinion different than yours? 🤔🤔🤔

How is 'need' defined, what system would you design and how would it be administered?

I feel like the fact it’s child benefit is a bit of red herring. Once the money is in your account, it’s just your money and you either have an amount spare that you decide to put towards your kids’ future or you don’t.

Saving child benefit money might be a new concept, but saving for your child’s future isn’t. Lots of people are doing that without calling it ‘child benefit saving’ - if they can afford it. If you can’t that’s fine. I think the money would be more useful as a house deposit when they are more settled in their late 20s, so if you do have spare cash, you still have time to do that.

Though if you do have spare, have you funded your retirement first? As not being a burden to your kids in your retirement is more important than giving them money at 18 in my opinion

Sorry, I have to agree with a PP who told you to get a grip.
Just because a few people told you they save the child benefit, doesn't mean we all do.
DM didn't save it for me.
I don't save it.
I know one person who did, she saved it all. Then her daughter wanted to do more expensive activities, like tap dancing, so she now saves a portion of it.
Great if you can do it but it's not something you're expected to do.

This makes me feel as though you're saying those of us haven't saved, have let our children down. But as you clearly know yourself, it's just not an option for some of us.
Obviously in 14 years time, I'd love to hand over 20k to my son. But what's more important to me is knowing he has everything he needs today.

It didn’t occur to me to save it. It went on raising the children - what it was intended for.

I can assure you I do not know one person who has done this from my circles of Mums the same age. I am close enough with up to 8 people to know if this was the case with their finances and not one of us has done this. It would never have occurred to me, ever.
Stop feeling bad. Honestly, stop feeling bad.

@Bathbubbly my son has only just turned 18 so even though he is at Uni it doesn’t affect him til he turns 19. The pharmacist told him about the 6k threshold. I don’t know anything more than that. As my son is on a minimum 5 year degree we decided a 6k emergency fund was enough and we pay his accommodation directly. All other investments are in our name for him. Not loads and loads just drip feeding and compounding. Thankfully, he is not like I was as a teenager so he has not blown it. I agree with others 18 is too young for some teenagers but with the CTF’s that’s how it was set up.

I don't know a single person, and never have, who saved the child benefit they received when their children were little, for the children (when they were grown.) This thread is batshit. 😂

We haven't saved it, we've spent it on our children, on food, clothes etc. Same for most of my circle. Don't worry, I suspect your friends are in the minority in having been able to save it all. It's meant to be used to help support your children so you've used it exactly as intended.

I also agree this is perception. It costs a lot more than 2o quid a week to feed Clothe and house a child . Every single person spends the child benefit amount on raising their kid. All that’s being talked about is some parents also have the ability to save for their child on top of this. It’s all one pot.

some folks feel strongly that child benefit should only be for those in poverty, where they couldn’t buy nappies or food without it. That’s not the system now nor has it ever been. It isn’t free school meals.

for me the only people doing wrong are those leaving their kids without a d spending it on themselves.

Quite a few MN'ers save for their children. To say otherwise is odd. Where the money comes from is not the issue, if it's CB, your salary, birthday money, whatever, is not relevant.

Needing the ‘money to live’ feels to me like a pretty low bar. Also how do you measure that? Money to live is a subjective. What isn’t subjective is means testing based on income which CB is. After that it’s up to the person how they manage their money surely?!

Agree with you, as a sole parent who doesn't qualify & receives no CMS!

But plenty of ppl save…i doesn’t matter what they save or what they save for. If they receive child benefit and save the equivalent or more then that’s your own business. Or should saving only be something those who don’t receive it should do??

Well you didn’t though, so 🤷🏻‍♀️
You did, presumably, spend it on feeding and clothing her her whole life, keeping the house warm, buying her school shoes etc (I’m guessing that if you aren’t in a financial position to give it to her in a lump sum, you haven’t got the means to do those things either?)
Child benefit is for those things, it’s not intended as a nest egg. Don’t sweat it. What she hasn’t got, she won’t miss.

I didn’t save any of mine - or indeed have any savings for my children. I did however pay for private school, music lessons etc and their accommodation at University. The rest is over to them.

Are you supposed to save it? I get €140 per month as I only have one child under 18 now but even when I got 280, it just went straight towards the bills.

It is such a privilege to be able to squirrel the children's benefit away for decades and then give it to your children. I think its purpose originally was to make sure that the children's basic needs were met and to make sure children aren't raised in poverty. Well, can't speak for the dept of social protection UK but I'm shocked that people feel ashamed of not having saved it, yikes.