To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

Calm down,stop stressing over this.It's designed to help with the costs of raising children. Food, nappies,heating costs to keep them warm,anything family related they benefit from. If people save it then they're just lucky to be in a position that enables them to. Most of us don't or didn't.

It is for spending on your child's upbringing. Your friends are clearly very financially well off, to be able to save it. Great for them. They will be a minority.
I try and put mine straight into my tax free childcare account to help with nursery fees. Happens some months, other months it goes on the food shop or other necessities that the children need.
Don't beat yourself up. You're doing a great job.

Is this a thing nowadays? Saving CB for the kids?
The CB paid to me for my kids very much needed. It helped to feed and clothe them when we were on a shoe string budget.
Isn't that what it's meant for?

I'm not recommending people with a disability don't get the payments they are entitled to. Not sure where you got that from.

But I'm not comfortable with a family who earn £100k combined income getting child benefits, just so they can put it away for their child's first car, university, etc... When in fact there are families with a combined income of less than that who will not be able to do so because one of them earns above £60k.

I'm all for ALL benefits being means tested, except perhaps disability benefits.
(Again, stop assuming what I do or don't do with regards to making choices, I'm perfectly capable of thinking for myself).

I did the maths for this the other day and decided to budget saving it into a pot for my 5 year old for the next 13 years as well. If all goes well in my career, will hopefully be able to match it or at least add a tenner on top. It really does add up and I'm glad I made the conscious decision to start saving it. We are a solo parent family, only my one DS and earn 35k. I think if you can do it, do and if not, no shame. Hoping to save the same for myself over the next few years, its a much more manageable amount than hundreds a month. Op I feel for you.

I genuinely think that this idea of ‘saving the CB’ is something that probably emerged largely as a boasting in social media about what a conscientious and self sacrificing parent you are.

Yes. People who can afford to may well have saved specifically for their children historically. But this ‘I save the CB; I wouldn’t dream of spending it’ is exactly the sort of bullshit that feels like it came from SM. Someone decided to position themself as parent martyr in chief and it grew from there.

So now you get people feeling bad that they aren’t ‘saving the CB to give a huge lump sum at adulthood’ - which is ridiculous.

Very well said.

Crazy. It all goes into the same pot and it gets spent as needed. I don't feel guilty about that at all

@FullMoomin What are your values? To nurture and love your children, or to build a big pile of cash.
In order to be saving up their Child(ren's) Benefit, others are spending less on their children than they could have done.
Some kids will be grateful for the lump sum, but others will begrudge missing out on trips, activities or additional time their parents could have spent with them. Be kind to yourself.

@Sehenswürdigkeiten This has been answered several times up thread.

What a valid contribution. You could have just answered in the time it took to post that. Seems like it’s just a classic case of ‘it’s alright for me but not for others’.
If it’s alright for some to save any of their CB then it’s okay for others to save it all. It’s either acceptable to save or not.

I dont believe this thread is real. If you have received 12 years of CB, you are probably in your 30s. Surely noone that age is quite so stupid or influenced by what their friends say they have done? If it's true that most people save it, I agree that the government should lool at means testing it.

It is ludicrous that we live in a culture where people are viewing that as a bonus nest egg while social services budgets are on their knees.

OP - you used that money for exactly what it was intended for and should feel zero shame for having done so. Would scrimping and sacrificing more to have done so have made your life materially harder + more stressful - and indirectly harder and more stressful for your children? Then of course you have done the right thing.

If you know loads of people doing it clearly the system isn’t working and that ‘extra’ could (and should) be redirected elsewhere.

I had well off parents by any standards - I wasn’t provided with a giant nest egg at 18. I was (lovingly) supported with the admin of applying for my student loans. Honestly thank goodness they didn’t - I8 yo me would definitely have spent it all on wkd blue and holidays to drink more wkd blue in different locations.

my parents supported me in plenty of other ways - some material - like letting me come back home rent free after uni for a year while I got started in my job (still paid a household ‘kitty’ contribution) but mostly just human. My mum is a constant, non judgemental voice of support.

they have always told me there are only two things I need to know. 1) that there is nothing I can do that will make them stop loving me - whatever it is, we can figure it out together and 2) wherever I am, they will move heaven and earth to come and get me as soon as they can if I ask.

they mean it. Fortunately they’ve never had to come further than Birmingham (from Lincoln at 3am, but they came!) - and they’ve never had to bury a body.

my point being - don’t let yourself feel like a failure for not giving your children a giant wedge of cash. The social + emotional gift that being a consistent and loving support in your children’s lives as they move in to adulthood is worth 10000 x more.

Sure, then lobby your mp or start a petition. Saying you want the threshold lowered, good luck with that,

but right now child benefit is a benefit for most families to benefit the child, clearly due to thr cut off point of one parent earning 60 k it is not just for families in poverty who can’t afford to feed or clothe their kid otherwise. I mean it’s fucking obvious.

I invested the CB I received for DS1 until I was longer eligible to receive it.

I invested in a Stockmarket growth fund for the long term. It was topped up with occasional birthday cash gifts.

It has funded his Masters degree studies overseas (fees are much cheaper in some European countries) and I think it was a good use of the money.

It's for helping towards costs of raising your child, it's not meant for saving for the child when they are older and realistically if you can save it then do you need to be claiming it.

You could read the thread instead of asking people to repeat themselves.

Are you missing me not needing your advice on how to spend my time?

Child benefit is €140 for each child in Ireland. We've saved €100 of this every month since our two were born (3 and 7). Although it isn't 'their' money, just like in the UK, housing is a shit show over here and if when they are in their twenties, we can help with €20k for each of them to make sure they don't get caught in the renter's trap, then that's what we'll do.

I'd say we could easily spend that €100 a month, but we have always been good with money, aren't big spenders, aren't materialistic, we have a ten year old car, etc. luckily we don't need it for day to day expenses like food and clothes. I'm not saying everyone who spends it could afford to put some of it away, but we made it a priority.

You have spend it on what it was entirely created to be spent on. Must be lovely to be able to afford to save it up, but that's not what it's there for. It's literally for buying the things your child needs. The idea was that no child should go hungry or cold because the benefit is there to feed and clothe them.

Well you’re posting repeatedly and in a way that comes across furiously that child benefit should only be for families in dire need. It is not. That’s not its design, so if you want people to not get it and not be able to save for their kids then crack on and try to make that happen.

And if they can afford to save it begs the question...why are they receiving it?

Why the panic? YOU have spent it on what it is intended for, your friends obviously did not need this benefit and in my opinion could have handed it to a charity for children eg Barnardo's, really I do not understand you panicking about this. If you had saved it, how would you have bought 'food, nappies ' and so forth. Unless you spent it on wild nights out without your DC, you have done exactly what you are supposed to do with it.

Penalise people who don't spend it frivolously and think of their children's futures? I worked for a large electrical retailer in a head office role. Our best sales days were after the end of the month when most people got paid, and just after child benefit payments were made! A good amount of the child benefit spend is completely discretionary and it's a falsehood to suggest it all goes on nappies and school uniforms.

Because that’s its design. It’s for all families where both parents earn under 60k. It is not only for families in poverty.

how do folks not know this?