To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

That was kind of the point I was making 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, it is a pretty ridiculous statement.

In what workd would a state benefit be designed for saving, and not because it's necessary to live now?

Your friends are weird. Stop panicking. It's unnecessary. I don't know a single parent who has saved their CB until 18. Most people use their CB for what it's intended for. Providing for their children while they are children. They don't save it up as a lump sum. Also for a bit more reassurance, I've never had a lump sum off my parents and I've managed just fine in life.

Don’t be ridiculous. Clearly anyone saving it for their kids future can afford to save 80 quid a month doesn’t mean the kid is walking the streets barefoot and hungry

why are you so furious some people saved for their kids.

As someone who wouldn't be eligible for child benefit (we'd just have to pay it all back in tax), it's slightly disconcerting to know that people are using it to fund trust funds, instead of buying essentials for children. It suggests they don't need benefits anymore than higher earners.

Yes, I was just clarifying. I already made a similar point a few posts back.

I've only read your posts OP, i haven't read the several pages of replies. I wouldn't panic OP. You needed the money to feed, clothe and pay for their clubs. That's a legitimate use of Child Benefit. If you needed to use it , then you needed to use it. As long as you haven't frittered it away on alcohol, cigarettes and nights out for yourself there is nothing to feel guilty about. Yes, it would have been nice to give them a nice pot of money but if you needed it to put food on the table and keep a roof over their head, that's more important. It's all about prioratising.

To the pp who said
Your friends should give it back to the state of they didn't need it. It's not meant to provide a lump sum at 18.

Don't be ridiculous 🤣. You are entitled to CB if you earn below a certain amount. As long as the money is used/spent on the child , saving it for the child is a legitimate use of CB. It is not just for feeding and clothing children, you can use it for anything on the child , including saving it. In fact, when I got my CB confirmation letter, it came with a printed leaflet advising to think about saving it for the child's future.

And to the PP who suggested OP find new friends 🤣. Why on earth would she need to find new friends 🤣🤣🤣. What they are doing is perfectly legitimate. There are four mum friends that I am really close to, and all of them bar one, save their CB for the child. In fact, like I said above, the CB office recommends it. That said, if it's used to feed and clothe the child, then that's a legitimate use as well, and obvs feeding, clothing keeping a roof over their heads and sending them to clubs takes priority over saving.

In this world. Otherwise the cut off point would be similar to that of free school meals. You dont need to be a very low income family to be awarded it, being able to save 20 quid a week doesn’t make you wealthy.

again, why are you so furious some parents can do this for their kids?

@BIossomtoes They probably do need it, given that it’s means tested. If they’re saving it they’re probably unnecessarily cutting corners.

Oh come on, this is insanity. The full cap is 60k for a single income. Anyone below that either through 1 or 2 incomes is “unnecessarily cutting corners” for being able to save something at the end of the money??

Would love to know the details of eveyone claiming it’s not meant for saving, only for baby milk, food and uniforms because that isn’t listed on any literature regarding CB.

CB is means tested already, if someone is entitled to it and also manages to save something at the end of the month then we’ll done to them. This shaming is ridiculous.

Not furious, stop assuming my emotions.
You might try to answer the questions posed already though.
If someone can afford to save the whole of a state benefit awarded to them they surely don't actually need it and/or the child is currently going without?

@FullMoomin , please take a breath and calm down. Child benefit is to help the parent with the cost of raising the child. If someone can afford to save it, great (though as a tax payer I’m a bit miffed they are being paid it when they don’t need it, put that aside), but that is not what it is for and I think k you have an atypical group that you are talking to.

i would encourage saving for your child, if nothing else to help with uni fees, car, house deposit etc, but if you can’t then that’s unfortunate but just life.

How lucky you are that you don't think £60k is that much. It's less than my household income and we both work full time in the NHS. Catch your privilege.

It's a a lot more than then the average income. But I do agree, things haven't been adapted to fit with the current issues.

This is why the government rightly changed the rules a few years ago so that child benefit was no longer paid to families where one parent earned over £50k.

This thread proves exactly why, as a country, we're financially screwed. Far too many people getting benefits they don't need. I think we need a radical overhaul so that ALL benefits are means tested, and yes, that includes state pensions, free prescriptions (for children and OAPs), free dental care (children, pregnant mothers, etc), discounted council houses, etc. Everything subsidised by the taxpayer!

Far too many people thinking they're "entitled" to benefits even though they don't actually need them. No wonder we're trillions in debt, rising at a couple of hundred billion per year. Dar too many people taking out way more than they're putting in.

@Sehenswürdigkeiten In what workd would a state benefit be designed for saving, and not because it's necessary to live now?

Well there is a saving scheme only open to those on universal credit, so it seems there absolutely are state benefits which you are allowed and encouraged to save whilst receiving so your point is redundant and incorrect.

Define cutting corners. The family could have an income up to £100k and be able to easily afford their day to day expenses and a good amount of discretionary spending.

The 'corner cutting' could be something like:

The adults in the family colouring their hair at home instead of in a salon
The family cars being 5 YO Fords instead of 2 YO Audis
The summer holiday being 4 star instead of 5 star AI.

Etc etc. Excluding the families on very low incomes who need the CB to cover the basics, and those wealthy enough to not receive it at all, there will be millions of families in the middle whose ability to save their CB is mainly dependent on their general lifestyle spending and prioritisation of money.

@FullMoomin that’s what the benefit is for, good luck to those are in a position to save it, but really they are missing the point not you. You’ve done nothing wrong. When my DC was very young I needed that money for groceries, without it I would run out of money at the end of the month. Now they are older, and I am working more hours, I tend to use it for their clothes which they want to choose themselves.

@Feliciacat you sound so lovely despite your upbringing. I hope the therapy brings you the peace of mind you need. BTW growing up poor my dad would always tell us money can’t buy love, and there would be plenty of rich children who wished they had a loving home. I’m so sorry he was right and I’ve never appreciated how lucky we were as children to be loved with absolutely no strings attached. If he’d of known you he definitely would’ve taken you under his wing. Sending you love ❤️

I think it is quite common to save child benefit for when the kids are older. My parents did this and it paid for my uni fees.

That said not everyone is able to do so because they need the money Scot living costs etc. so I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it.

But as usual, they cocked it up.

Why does a couple earning £49k each, i.e. £98k still get it, but a couple where one earns £60k and the other earns £10k not get any despite earning £28k less!

Why is it as high as £50k anyway - most other benefits have much lower cut off thresholds?

Yes I think it’s ridiculous that a single parent earning slightly over the threshold would not qualify whereas 2 parents each earning 49k would.

OP you are being ridiculous. Maybe your friends have a higher household income than you. I have not managed to save any CB in 6 years, should I be wringing my hands? Most kids do not get handed a lump sum by their parents at 18.

quite clearly due to the cut off point child benefit is not just for very low income families in need. If it was the cut of would be the same as free school meals ie 16k a year or whatever it is.

it is not a benefit for those only in desperate need who cannot afford to clothe or feed their kids otherwise. That’s not its purpose. Obviously.

No government has ever "encouraged" parents to save the child benefit.

It's a different scheme entirely, saving a small amount from benefits is not the same as saving the entire amount of one benefit.