Page 13 | To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

FullMoomin · 2023-10-08T04:10:41+00:00

Having a panic attack. I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!! I should have saved this money for DC! If I had saved it, I could give it to them. Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18! Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will. Oh help, really panicking. I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them. The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc. Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it. Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

Uggtrending · 08/10/2023 08:48

@Sarfar45 my mum never gave me £1000 for my child. That's so unfair don't you think? Why can't I be the same as you? Your mother has given you £2000. Maybe you should have had your CB stopped because you weren't exactly struggling, you obviously don't need it because you have managed to save for your DC. How dare you put money aside for your kids 🤣

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 08/10/2023 08:48

LordEmsworth · 08/10/2023 05:14

Umm, as a taxpayer I am very glad you have used CB in the way it is intended. Good for you for using it to benefit your children when they needed it.

Your friends should give it back to the state of they didn't need it. It's not meant to provide a lump sum at 18.

Exactly this. They should return the money if it was unneeded. Pretty disrespectful to keep it so their kid can get a big pot of money!

Justifiedcheese · 08/10/2023 08:49

FullMoomin · 08/10/2023 05:29

Sorry for swearing.
I don't usually swear! Highly stressed since calculating this!!!
It all started off by a colleague casually mentioning in conversation that she had a 'huge pot of money' from 18 years of CHB savings to give to her DS, she said it will completely change his start in to adult life.
I nearly fell off my chair when she told me how much she'd accumulated from saving CHB.
I had never even thought to save my CHB. I'd just always been incredibly grateful for it every month. Each month for 12 years that it's gone in to my account I've received it and thought "Thank you, I am so grateful for this".
So I asked around a few friends and said "My colleague told me she's giving a lump sum of 18 years of CHB to her DS...." and all my friends save theirs too. One said "Yeah, it adds up nicely doesn't it, we've got ours in a savings account and the interest is helping too now". Another said "Our DC will get double that because we've always matched the CHB", and everyone else has just agreed that they've saved theirs too.
Every one of my friends looked a mixture of shocked and dismayed when I said I haven't saved ours!
I've been suffering high level anxiety ever since!!! I really feel I've let my DC down.

Then your "friends" are privileged and cunty. I saved my son's DLA for a flat deposit to save a social housing place. When a colleague moaned that someone else was spending it on daily living and "you don't" I simply replied "I don't have to"

Janieforever · 08/10/2023 08:49

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:43

Would you actually care to explain why you think something classed as as a state benefit is designed to be saved and not used to live on, bearing in mind why most means-tested/partially means-tested benefits are normally awarded to start with? I'm waiting.

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What are you on about.wny are you so offended that some folks chose to save it? You didn’t. Tnats fine, but objecting to others doing it is odd.

echt · 08/10/2023 08:50

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:43

Would you actually care to explain why you think something classed as as a state benefit is designed to be saved and not used to live on, bearing in mind why most means-tested/partially means-tested benefits are normally awarded to start with? I'm waiting.

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Sigh.

That is not what I said, I said saving for child is a benefit to the child, i.e what the parent chooses to do with the Child Benefit. I did not say the Child Benefit was intended for saving. That was my point. The government does not tell grown-ups how to use Child Benefit. Just some posters on MN. Look online. It's a Benefit because the child exists.

Malarandras · 08/10/2023 08:50

OP do t worry about what other people are doing. Besides I don’t think giving an 18 year old £20,000 is in any way a good idea. They need to learn to work and save for themselves. If you really want to save for them you can start now and maybe help with something sensible, like investing in their first house purchase. Whatever you do please don’t feel guilty. You have done your best and I bet your kids know that.

Janieforever · 08/10/2023 08:51

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 08/10/2023 08:48

Exactly this. They should return the money if it was unneeded. Pretty disrespectful to keep it so their kid can get a big pot of money!

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Ok then everyone just say you spent the child benefit on the kids costs and saved the equivalent out your own money.

then posters can stop frothing that your kids will get money when they are older

user1471538283 · 08/10/2023 08:51

The money was for you to spend on your DC and you did so. It gave you some financial independence whether you needed it or not.

I know you feel guilty but don't! You've raised your DC and spent the money for them on them.

My DM spent my child benefit on herself.

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:51

echt · 08/10/2023 08:50

Sigh.

That is not what I said, I said saving for child is a benefit to the child, i.e what the parent chooses to do with the Child Benefit. I did not say the Child Benefit was intended for saving. That was my point. The government does not tell grown-ups how to use Child Benefit. Just some posters on MN. Look online. It's a Benefit because the child exists.

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Again, familiarise yourself with the purpose of Child Benefit. You seem to be confusing it with the Child Trust Fund.

LordEmsworth · 08/10/2023 08:52

Uggtrending · 08/10/2023 08:39

@LordEmsworth what on earth are you talking about? You dont even know me or my circumstances. I qualify for CB I've not broken any law. Instead of watching what others spend maybe just maybe go and brush up on your lack of money management skills. Life is unfair sweetheart are you 5?

MN usually support their adult kids living at home rent free, so I'm very surprised that people are up in arms over a small amount of money each month. If anybody dares to suggest they are charging their kids rent because they can't afford it they are deemed the worst parent. MN is a funny place sometimes!

Eh? No I'm not 5. When I was 5, child benefit literally put food on the table, which I admit is probably one of the drivers why I feel so strongly that it should be a universal benefit, and used for the benefit of the child - not siphoned off by the middle classes to provide a lump sum at 18 so little Jocasta and Harry can buy a car. And then look down their noses at parents who used it wisely!

I've not said you have broken any law, how did you get that? It's not against the law to allow your greed to outweigh your morals.

@echt ditto, child benefit is meant to fund the child, not give the adult a nice little lump sum. And yes I do think that the education system, NHS, justice system etc are all losing out because that's how a finite sum of money works.

echt · 08/10/2023 08:52

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 08/10/2023 08:48

Exactly this. They should return the money if it was unneeded. Pretty disrespectful to keep it so their kid can get a big pot of money!

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There is no intention behind CB, it is for the parents to use as they see fit. Some do it sooner, some later. That is all.

Justifiedcheese · 08/10/2023 08:52

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 08/10/2023 08:48

Exactly this. They should return the money if it was unneeded. Pretty disrespectful to keep it so their kid can get a big pot of money!

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Utter nonsense. It's not means tested and never was. I used to get my mother's Family Allowance as pocket money, and this is 50 years ago.

PointlessAddiction · 08/10/2023 08:53

The people who have saved it could obviously afford to. My child benefit goes towards clothes for my kids, to put a roof over their heads and food on the table…or for trips and treats if I’m doing ok.
a good, safe, happy childhood is invaluable. Yes money at 18 is nice, but imo incomparable to that.

Janieforever · 08/10/2023 08:53

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:51

Again, familiarise yourself with the purpose of Child Benefit. You seem to be confusing it with the Child Trust Fund.

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You familiarise yourself. If the parent chooses to save it, or their own money to help their child with costs later this is wholly permitted by the government, in fact parents are encouraged to save for children.

echt · 08/10/2023 08:54

echt ditto, child benefit is meant to fund the child, not give the adult a nice little lump sum
The money is given to the parent to use as they see fit. Even the UK government does not pry into these matters.

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:54

Janieforever · 08/10/2023 08:49

What are you on about.wny are you so offended that some folks chose to save it? You didn’t. Tnats fine, but objecting to others doing it is odd.

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Not 'on about' anything.
Not offended.
Not sure why you jumped on my comment.
Not sure why you're assuming anything about me.

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:55

echt · 08/10/2023 08:54

echt ditto, child benefit is meant to fund the child, not give the adult a nice little lump sum
The money is given to the parent to use as they see fit. Even the UK government does not pry into these matters.

Again, not 'echt' information, but carry on.

Janieforever · 08/10/2023 08:55

LordEmsworth · 08/10/2023 08:52

Eh? No I'm not 5. When I was 5, child benefit literally put food on the table, which I admit is probably one of the drivers why I feel so strongly that it should be a universal benefit, and used for the benefit of the child - not siphoned off by the middle classes to provide a lump sum at 18 so little Jocasta and Harry can buy a car. And then look down their noses at parents who used it wisely!

I've not said you have broken any law, how did you get that? It's not against the law to allow your greed to outweigh your morals.

@echt ditto, child benefit is meant to fund the child, not give the adult a nice little lump sum. And yes I do think that the education system, NHS, justice system etc are all losing out because that's how a finite sum of money works.

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Goodness gracious. The parents are not saving it for themselves . And affording to save 20 quid a week doesn’t make you middle class

piscofrisco · 08/10/2023 08:55

My sister used to save hers for a few months and then blow it on something she wanted-such as a Dyson hairdryer or a spa day. So I wouldn't feel too bad mate. You've spent it exactly as it was intended when it was conceived of.

HaveIlostIt · 08/10/2023 08:55

@napody your absolutely right - I do technically claim child benefit it's just the payment part I "opted out " from. But I am registered to get pension credits etc.

Justifiedcheese · 08/10/2023 08:55

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:51

Again, familiarise yourself with the purpose of Child Benefit. You seem to be confusing it with the Child Trust Fund.

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How about YOU familiarise yourself with the idea of there NOT BEING A DIRECTION how you spend it?
Bet you're one of those people who'd like to issue food vouchers instead of money benefit because "mah tax pounds".

Uggtrending · 08/10/2023 08:56

@PointlessAddiction I agree with you it's absolutely incomparable. It's unfair to assume that people are depriving their kids though. As the thread shows most people spend their CB. I don't see it as a race to the bottom. We are all doing our best.

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:56

Justifiedcheese · 08/10/2023 08:52

Utter nonsense. It's not means tested and never was. I used to get my mother's Family Allowance as pocket money, and this is 50 years ago.

Edited

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You're not up to date - it is actually partially means tested nowadays.
Also, don't accuse me of making statements regarding vouchers when I didn't even mention such a thing.

TrashedSofa · 08/10/2023 08:56

LordEmsworth · 08/10/2023 08:52

Eh? No I'm not 5. When I was 5, child benefit literally put food on the table, which I admit is probably one of the drivers why I feel so strongly that it should be a universal benefit, and used for the benefit of the child - not siphoned off by the middle classes to provide a lump sum at 18 so little Jocasta and Harry can buy a car. And then look down their noses at parents who used it wisely!

I've not said you have broken any law, how did you get that? It's not against the law to allow your greed to outweigh your morals.

@echt ditto, child benefit is meant to fund the child, not give the adult a nice little lump sum. And yes I do think that the education system, NHS, justice system etc are all losing out because that's how a finite sum of money works.

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Again though, these things have got worse during the period that CB has been restricted. You've yet to explain how fewer people claiming child benefit would lead to these services improving, rather than money being spunked elsewhere by the state on things that don't benefit children.

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 08/10/2023 08:57

Justifiedcheese · 08/10/2023 08:55

How about YOU familiarise yourself with the idea of there NOT BEING A DIRECTION how you spend it?
Bet you're one of those people who'd like to issue food vouchers instead of money benefit because "mah tax pounds".

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How about you familiarise yourself with the way CN is currently awarded.