To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

It's called Child Benefit ~ Self explanatory

And yet services for children haven't exactly improved in the decade since CB stopped being universal, have they? It's not the self-righteousness that stands out in your post, it's the naivety.

@Howmanyroses indeed.

But why would peoples realise this? Where is this taught?

With all due respect, OP, you're being silly. Child benefit is there for parents to spend to help with the costs of childcare. It is not a gift from the government for the child to spend when they're older. Just because your friends can afford not to spend it, doesn't mean you shouldn't have used it on things you needed.

Over all I don't think it's a bad thing to save it if you can and help the child at this stage of life.

So saving for your child is a benefit. Self explanatory.

OP, CB is not intended to help parents comfortably off not to need it for day to day expenses to give their already advantaged children a hand out at 18. The money is not your child's. It's yours in recognition of the fact children cause additional expenses.
I don't blame those who are fortunate not to need it to save it, but its really inappropriate if this seen as the norm (its not!), so parents who can't feel guilt.
The fact that your children (like the vast majority in the UK) will not be given a huge handout at 18 is not your fault for having less money than some more priveleged parents. You do the best you can within your means.

I really think you’re being silly here OP. The fact that you were so happy and thankful every month when it landed showed you actually needed it and used it as intended. If you have wodges of spare money to be saving, you can start saving it now! Your friends are a great argument for CB being means tested. Their kids will probably blow it on a car if they get a lump sum at 18…one might hope it would go towards uni costs if anything. We moved from one island to an adjacent island 8 years ago so were not entitled to CB in in the new place - I really miss that money 😥

@LordEmsworth what on earth are you talking about? You dont even know me or my circumstances. I qualify for CB I've not broken any law. Instead of watching what others spend maybe just maybe go and brush up on your lack of money management skills. Life is unfair sweetheart are you 5?

MN usually support their adult kids living at home rent free, so I'm very surprised that people are up in arms over a small amount of money each month. If anybody dares to suggest they are charging their kids rent because they can't afford it they are deemed the worst parent. MN is a funny place sometimes!

It is NOT meant as a gift to your DCs!! It is meant to help YOU look after them. I haven’t had child benefit for some while as I am fortunate enough to have a sufficiently high income that I’m not entitled to it but when I did I did not see it as theirs.

Op, I don’t understand your post. You couldn’t afford to save it. If you spent it on nappies or uniforms etc and were grateful for it. Why didn’t you just say to your colleagues lucky you we were so skint we needed it?

we were lucky enough to be able to save it, although sometimes times were tough, but others like you needed it . There is no right nor wrong, you do what works for you

It’s child benefit for the benefit of the child!
A parent can do whatever they wish to with it, whether that is to spend it on their child or to save it for when the child leaves home!
I saved all my children’s benefits and then when they bought a house they used it to go towards the deposit!

Cb isn't meant for saving it's meant to help with every day costs.
We have always got child benefit and I've always put away £10 a month for each child plus my mum gave each of them £1000 when they were born. I will give it to them when they move out or go to uni.
Those who can afford to save the whole amount shouldn't get it.

Argument lost the minute you declare a view to be 'bollocks'.

In Ireland, CB isn't means tested and is pretty generous (140 per child per month) and with no cap on the amount of children receiving. So I know some pretty well off people who have saved way way more than you're talking about, who wouldn't even notice not having it. Me, not so much because I genuinely need that money. I'm trying to put aside similar to the amount for just the last year or two as mine are now 2 and 6 years away from college - if they decide that's what they want to do. Inequality of income and need are facts of life. Does it slightly suck that my friend whose household income is 300k, literally twn times mine gets the same as me? A bit I guess but she also pays a shit tonne of tax which would cover her CB many times over.

Anyone who could have afforded to save it as you describe didn't need it. It makes me mad that families are receiving it when they can just tuck it away.

Mine was spent, like yours, on household expenses - and often arrived at a great time of the month to top our account up before payday.

My dd is still in full time education at 18 so we still get it and I now give the lot to her to pay for her college expenses.

Diddums.

Would you actually care to explain why you think something classed as as a state benefit is designed to be saved and not used to live on, bearing in mind why most means-tested/partially means-tested benefits are normally awarded to start with? I'm waiting.

So it's all right for you to save a bit but not for others to save the lot?

Precisely how much are you going to give back to the government since you can plainly afford it?

You've spent it on exactly what it was for, i.e. your children.

Those who've saved it clearly didn't need it and that kind of demonstrates that the change to remove it from higher earners was the right thing to do.

It's never been intended as a "savings pot" for children. You've done the right thing (assuming you haven't also wasted loads of. money on booze, fags, botox, etc).

Keep proving my point.
Nothing 'echt' about you.

How does it do that, when by definition the savers weren't impacted by the changes and we've no way of knowing what people who aren't entitled to it would have done?

Honestly I'd say get a grip. Child benefit is supposed to be used on the children and that's what you have done. You haven't been spending it on yourself or wasting it. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to save it and spend on the children from there own wages. Most kids don't get a lump sum of money when they are 18 or 21. I certainly didn't and it hasn't harmed me. You can save it now if you can afford to, if not don't stress. Instead appreciate that you've done your best.

I don't save it and won't be. The money goes on the kids, so clothing in the next size up, new shoes as and when needed, pays for their swimming, football and music lessons. I save for them but out of my own wages and that money won't be given to them as a lump sum but rather to pay for driving lessons and or a car one day.

I’m sorry but can you link to the guidance where it says parents should not save the money if they can to help their children when they are older?

or did you just make that up In your head? Would you feel better if posters said they spent it on the kids and saved the equivalent?

🙄

Child benefit is money for you to spend on your child. Its not your child's money. I would argue if you can afford to save it you don't really need it

It's much more beneficial to the child to have that money spent on them than scrimp and save to be able to hand them a lump sum. What would you give up to give it to them? Their school shoes?

Also realistically these epeople have just saved 20k. They havent saved their child benefit, they just had enough money coming in to be able to afford to save for their child. As you say, you don't. It's fine. Giving an 18yo 15k is not the massive leg up you think it is, it will get spent on cats, holidays etc. You've done your best