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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did I do something wrong?

101 replies

PandaDad · 07/10/2023 11:04

Hi,

I went for a nice walk with my LD this morning, which was abruptly ended when she jumped in the pond. I thought the pond would slowly get deeper but it was a sheer drop so she jumped in and all I saw was her hair.
She was only under for half a second, but I'm still stressing about it now. I gave her milk and showered her after coming straight home.
She seemed fine, and completely normal but I feel like I've failed her that she was put in danger like that.
It didn't help that a random dog walker told me I wasn't fast enough and should have run to get her. (I didn't run because I thought AHH she can have a little paddle and I was behind her anyway).

My question to you folks is did I do something wrong? I feel like avoiding walking anywhere near dangerous stuff like this with her until she's older. She's almost 4 now and I feel like she thought it was shallow too because she just walked into the pond like there was a floor there.

Man kids are stressful 😞

OP posts:
Riverlee · 07/10/2023 12:23

“You made a silly mistake and you will learn from it. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. In my 20 years of parenting I have had many mishaps occur with my children that happened when I took my eye off the ball or didn’t move fast enough. Luckily, like your dd they were all minor. People on here will have you think they’re perfect and their child has never had an accident, ever.”

Needmorelego · 07/10/2023 12:25

When I was around that age I ran straight into a pond because it was covered in that green algae/ moss stuff and I assumed it was grass.
Well apparently anyway. I have no memory of it - only what my mum has told me.
Your little girl will be fine - although keep an eye on tummy aches etc incase she swallowed something icky.
Be more careful next time.

momonpurpose · 07/10/2023 12:27

DustyLee123 · 07/10/2023 11:07

It’s wrong to allow her in any water. Even a puddle can be deeper than you think.

Absolutely. You never really know how deep water is or if there are sharp rocks or tree limbs

FabFitFifties · 07/10/2023 12:29

I thought it was your labrador, and was about to say, be more alert if you don't know the body of water, but don't beat yourself up. But a toddler! Yes you have definately done something wrong.

momonpurpose · 07/10/2023 12:30

AWIAANGAF · 07/10/2023 11:50

I’m another one who was thinking you were talking about a dog because I think it’s unbelievable that anyone would let a 3 year old have “a little paddle in the pond” in October or any other month for that matter. And the fact she disappeared into it up to her hair makes me feel anxious just thinking about it.

My lord I just realized this was a child not a dog. You are beyond unreasonable and could easily lost your daughter. Take some safety classes sadly there are no common sense classes

Purplebunnie · 07/10/2023 12:30

Hoardasurass · 07/10/2023 11:11

If her head was under water at all you need to get her checked out at the hospital she could have ingested or inhaled the manky pond water with god knows what algae and/or bacteria

I was just going to say this. Get her checked out at A&E - best to be on the safe side

Verbena17 · 07/10/2023 12:34

@PandaDad I actually think you should get her checked out at a walk in centre or A&E -
dry drowning is a thing that happens more often than people realise.

Bookish88 · 07/10/2023 12:36

Another one who'd have been on the way to hospital after that...

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 07/10/2023 12:38

Why are you letting your young daughter jump in any pond regardless of depth and waiting to see if it gets deeper?! Wtaf?

I’m struggling to see someone could be this stupid to be honest.

Agnorant · 07/10/2023 12:42

If it’s a child and not a dog you’re talking about you show seriously poor judgement. You might need to take parenting classes and be glad the dog walker didn’t call the police.

MrsMarzetti · 07/10/2023 12:43

Yes you were so in the wrong and i am sure you don't even need to ask that question. I am sure your daughter will be fine. You have learned a bloody scary but valuable lesson that you won't forget in a hurry. Today will be a day that will chill yo to the bone for the rest of your life but it is done now.

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/10/2023 12:45

Ponds have weeds. If she went under, she could have been trapped and drowned while you were still trying to work out where she was under the water.

The random dog walker was completely correct and I’m glad they called you out since you don’t seem to realise how insanely dangerous it is to let a child have ‘a little paddle’ in a random body of water you know nothing about.

I agree you need to get her checked by a doctor.

Please tell me this is a wind up and no parent could actually be this dim.

NCgoingdry · 07/10/2023 12:46

Can't help but feel really judgey at this.

You let your 3yo stroll straight into a pond. What else are you so lapse at?

Also - might want to consider water inhalation/dry drowning and/or leptospirosis as rats all sorts of nasty shit live in ponds.

beetr00 · 07/10/2023 12:52

Not a troll then everyone?

itsgettingweird · 07/10/2023 12:53

I'm more shocked at those surprised at paddling in October than the accident.

It's not exactly cold in the whole of the U.K.! It's 22° here today. Same temperate we spent days in the summer in a beach etc and the waters warmer this time of year!

OP - it's a horrid mistake. You need to talk to your DD about how to enter water and judging it safely. Also about when not to just enter. They are never too young.

anareen · 07/10/2023 12:54

She's almost 4 and you gave her milk and a shower after coming home from a walk? Not a snack? Have a paddle? LD? Initially she jumped into the pond? At the end she walks into the pond because SHE thought it was shallow TOO?

Your troll post is weak 🤣 try harder 🤣

beetr00 · 07/10/2023 12:56

@itsgettingweird she's 3 years old!!!

"You need to talk to your DD about how to enter water and judging it safely"

Luckypoppy · 07/10/2023 12:56

www.parents.com/kids/safety/outdoor/dry-drowning/

pinkyredrose · 07/10/2023 12:56

didn't run because I thought AHH she can have a little paddle

I honestly think one should have to pass a capability test before bringing children into the world

StBrides · 07/10/2023 12:58

@PandaDad please take her to a&e today to be checked. Secondary drowning is a common and very dangerous occurance when someone has gone under water.

It puts them at risk of death for some time after the incident and occurs when water has entered the lungs.

It doesn't take much water - she needs to be checked.

Robotik · 07/10/2023 12:58

You really need to have her checked at a and e.
you don’t know what bacteria’s in the water or whether she’s inhaled or ingested any..

Beautiful3 · 07/10/2023 12:59

You shouldn't encourage any child to be comfortable with water, until they can swim. I always warned mine never to go into ponds/canal/sea, because they can be deep and dangerous. You need to warn her that it's dangerous. Perhaps it's a good thing that happened, it's taught her a valuable lesson. Never to jump into water.

Hickry · 07/10/2023 13:01

I really hope this is a troll. 😳🤦

If it's not, you need to take your child to be checked out. She may have germ ridden pond water in her lungs and digestive system. And you need to be less terrifyingly careless, or supervised by someone with some common sense when there's a kid with you.

gamerchick · 07/10/2023 13:01

I think your daughter has learned a bit of a lesson really. It's a good teaching lesson about random bodies of water.

Maybe some swimming lessons if she's particularly drawn to water might be useful.

Dramatic · 07/10/2023 13:01

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 07/10/2023 11:57

It didn't help that a random dog walker told me I wasn't fast enough and should have run to get her. (I didn't run because I thought AHH she can have a little paddle and I was behind her anyway
Random dog walker was totally right, and does this mean you didn't run to pull her out?
Echoing the get her checked re any water inhaled.

I'm wondering if the dog walker meant he should have ran to stop her from jumping in