Permanently embarrassed

[huii]

And ashamed.

Everyday. I see myself as I’m paying for food at the checkout or hear myself as I’m speaking and I cringe. I’m so aware of it all.

At night I seem to go over absolutely anything I’ve ever said or done that’s embarrassing and I imagine what people think of me now, sentences come into my head that people might say about me… it’s so horrible, how do I stop this?

Do you have any friends or family? Sounds like maybe you’re a bit anxious!! We all cringe sometimes when we hear ourselves. When these thoughts enter your head can you try to distract yourself and do something else?

Don't worry firstly, it's not uncommon. This is just one of the many ways anxiety presents itself. Self doubt, low self esteem, nervousness, overthinking, self sabotage etc..
Everyone on this planet is worthwhile and worthy of been heard, you are as important as everyone you speak to.
You are not less than.
Please tell your doctor how you feel, there are so many ways to help you.
And believe me, there are people out there who feel the exact same but to a worse extent that it stops them even going to shops so you are stronger than you think, op.

I put unreasonable but only in the sense that I think you're being way too hard on yourself! Like I can definitely do this occasionally if I've done something really embarrassing but I think other people usually don't notice or care and wouldn't even remember by the end of the day. Sounds like you might be a little anxious, maybe see a doctor if you're finding it overwhelming. Good luck! X

What mental health support have you had so far OP for this? CBT, mediation, meds???

This sounds horrible and like it's happening to a life-impacting extent.

I'd consider counseling to try to find out why you feel this way.

I'm sure you're no worse than anyone else.

Confidence is a mysterious thing, it doesn't seem connected to reality at all.

Like PP I put YABU but only because I think you must get some help.
It sounds like a miserable way to live and I’m so sorry.
I promise you nobody is thinking about you this way. Everyone’s just getting on with their own stuff!!
Please go to your GP and tell them. If the words are hard show them this post and say you wrote it.
I hope you can get away from these intrusive thoughts and realise life can be good!!

I really like your take on confidence, I think that's the best I've ever heard. 😀