If your life was awful at one point, did it get good again?

[Sosadsolow]

Life feels so horrendous. Lone parent to an 18 month old, money worries, job worries, feel run down and very lonely. Heartbroken too and feel too old to start again especially with dc. My world has come crashing down and all I see now is struggle and sadness ahead with a lot of stress and loneliness.

YES

Your life will be better than you imagine.

19 years ago I was a single mum, having got out of an abusive relationship, a heroin addict and got sent to prison. I literally just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. Now I am a well paid professional who owns my own house with a husband I love and 2 extra kids. Life is very good.

Honestly, one day you will look back and be amazed that you ever felt like this. You never know what is round the corner. I'm really sorry you feel like this. Please do reach out for help. There are lots of amazing support mechanisms out there for anything you may need help with.

Yes OP, 100% yes. No one has got to whatever age they are at without struggles… even when they come across really breezy and confident sometimes it’s all an act. People don’t like talking about “boring” topics so they’re avoided which adds to the impression that everyone else has it together.
Does your child think you have it all together? Are his/her needs met? You’re doing a fab job, keep going, better times are ahead.

Yes. It DOES get better. Please don't be embarrassed to ask for help, even if it's something small like getting the buggy off the bus - most people like helping others.

Yes! It got much better. Had to leave exDP to achieve that, and gained a qualification which increased earnings.

Yes horribly depressed and six stone 10 in my 20s.
Then at a low ebb when struggling for money when dc were young.
Life goes in cycles.
It will get easier.

Yes. Three major awful periods during my life - death of my child, divorce and dreadful bullying at work - all now in the past.

It will pass but for now, head down and take it day by day.

Yes - I've been through some tough times: divorce, my baby son being dangerously ill and in and out of hospital for several years etc etc.

Keep going! If you keep going and try to hold on in there things usually get better. Most people go through awful time - you are not alone.

Winston Churchill said 'When you're going through Hell, keep going!' and I've found this very good advice. Churchill was bi-polar and suffered frequent depressive episodes, as well as having quite a stressful job!!!

Yes, to the extent that I'd wonder how to crash my car on the way to work.

It does get better.

Yes. My thirties were mainly bloody awful but then I got divorced, dragged myself back up & the past 10 years have just got better & better.

It helps to mix with as many different people as you can, even if that feels like the hardest right now ♥️

Yes, but I realised that I had to love and like myself and not seek validation from a man. The only person you can truly trust in life is yourself. You are the one in charge of your own happiness, when things are dark, you have to search for the light. That lies within you. You can do this, it will be ok. Be kind to yourself.

Wow thanks. Didn’t expect anyone to reply as my post is so pathetic!

I feel so alone. The fact I have a very young child also makes me feel this is now my life trapped as it is, with no route out of loneliness. And I adore my baby but it’s just so horrendously lonely. My friends are great but they all go home to people.

YES!

You go home to your baby, OP. Lots of people would love that.

Another yes here! I remember being in a really bad place and my sister saying to me: “A summer will come when you are sitting in a garden with your friends drinking wine and laughing and none of this will cross your mind.” She was right!

Having a little one is hard, and doing it on your own is hard. Find friends in a similar boat and throw yourself into making life fun for your child. My local mums Facebook group often has really honest posts like yours and they are met with loads of mums wanting to help and support and meet up. Put yourself out there. It will get better - I promise. X

I've had some really shitty times and although my life isn't all that exciting, I am happy and content. We have enough money and my kids are a delight.

Yes, and was a single mum with young kids in my late 30s.

Hang in there x

@vivainsomnia my age worries me so much. I’m 38 now, I’m lucky to have my baby I know, but it’s not like I have lots of time to start again. I will probably never have another child either. Just feel so trapped and lost. All my friends are very very settled.

I was really lonely when my baby was small OP.

I was a teenage parent and when he was a week old we moved halfway across the country so my partner could take up his place at uni.

We were completely and utterly broke (fell through the gap between benefits and student finance), luckily we’d both worked and saved whilst pregnant as that paid the rent. We lived off CTC and child benefit. I think it was £46 a week. I remember going round tescos counting everything up as I put it in the trolley and praying I hadn’t made a mistake so I didn’t have the humiliation of having my card declined/having to put things back.

My partner was out at uni most of the day and I didn’t know anyone at all. I was so so lonely.

It got better. It will get better for you too.

Absolutely yes OP! Only a few years ago I was being emotionally & verbally abused by DH - some days I really don’t know how I functioned but I had to for DD who was at primary school then. On reflection I should have left, even if it was temporarily, & taken DD with me. However, things improved significantly when we downsized ( it was money worries causing DH’s behaviour although he never said until later) & now our relationship is a million times better.

Yes Op
Dh and I have had some difficult times. At one point we lost our home, dh’s business was doing badly and I was in a job that I absolutely hated. I also had three young dcs.
I honestly felt that I was just existing but not living. I was constantly exhausted
A few years later, we are doing very well.
One has to be proactive to an extent. I know it is difficult but just take small steps Op

I found an old diary when clearing out a drawer.It detailed a few months when my DC were at primary school. One entry was that we were down to our last pound. It was the weekend and no prospect of any more money .That whole time was so stressful. Even reading the entries made my heart beat fast.

Thankfully life slowly got much better.So much so that I had totally forgotten about that period. I have savings now and i appreciate how lucky i am. Your luck will turn OP. Just hang on in there.

Thirty eight is still young.
You would be surprised by what wonderful things are around the corner .

Yes - you will get through this bad period and there will be happiness for you. x