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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Airbnb host opens my private bedroom door

106 replies

GlitterGlobe30 · 06/10/2023 02:13

I've just started staying at this Airbnb and the host is very particular about her house rules (didn't know until after I started staying here).

One of her rules is to leave the bedroom window open everytime I leave the apartment (preferably just leave it open at all times) to air the room out and let the air circulate through because she doesn't like any smells settling in the room.

I started to leave the window open everytime I left the apartment but then she said that wasn't enough to help the air circulate and I have to leave my bedroom door open too. I feel uncomfortable with this as I have all my stuff in the room including valuable things like passport and laptop etc. It is just sharing the apartment with her but she also has her boyfriend round almost every day. And I don't like the thought of either of them nosying at my stuff when I'm not in the apartment. I came home today to find my bedroom door wide open when I had just left it open a bit when I left the apartment for the day. She actually said it would be fine to just leave it open a crack and then obviously changed her mind.

Aibu to think I should be able to keep my bedroom door shut whenever I want and to feel a bit uncomfortable with not having the privacy?

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 07/10/2023 10:14

I’d be out of there. You have no privacy or security. Okay, theoretically in a hotel or even a room with a locking door, it can also be opened, but the expectation of respecting your space and your stuff is there. Not so here.

WillowCraft · 07/10/2023 10:18

I don't think a solution is particularly needed? Just put up with it, you are out and it's neither here not there. Ok you don't like it but it's not a risk to you or your belongings. You can use a door wedge or rape alarm if you're worried about someone entering while you're in the room but it doesn't sound like this is the concern. The host can go in your room while you're out in any type of accommodation. Theft from hotel rooms is really common.

2weekstowait · 07/10/2023 10:29

It's an unreasonable request imo. I always have my windows open when I'm at home but close certain ones when out as people can climb in if they so desire! Regarding bedroom door being open - absolutely no way. Plus it needs a lock. If she doesn't like that she shouldn't be a host. I would stand my ground whilst looking for other places.

anotherside · 07/10/2023 10:44

Of course this is unreasonable. I can’t believe that you even ask. I’d be reporting them to AirBnb and be requesting a full refund. To which I’d expect them to promptly agree as a host who has been verified by them is effectively putting you and your belongings at risk.

iovebread · 07/10/2023 11:23

hi there, I stayed at an Airbnb earlier this year and had a host that had pets and construction right outside (yet did not inform me about these). Construction had been going on for months, and despite booking it, nothing was mentioned. It was also advertised as a peaceful stay.

I complained to Airbnb and they were really helpful. You need to make a formal complaint to them about this experience. I got a third of my money back for the stay (their alternative was giving me a new place to stay which they'd help with and refund etc, but I decided to stay because the Host negotiated with the builders when to finish their work by every day so I could at least get some peace and they could continue their work).

All Airbnb stays come with insurance (as part of the booking) so you are entitled to make complaints and make sure you do!

your stay sounds horrible and not comfortable. why are they complaining about smells - are they implying guests smell because if so, this sounds discriminatory and too much to ask of you esp if not mentioned in the ad. It is false advertising otherwise. Also, if you are concerned for your safety and of your things, this is a legitimate reason to complain.

on the complaint form, Airbnb state what they constitute a complaint. you can read it, but i personally couldn't find a clause about construction noise right outside during my stay but i complained anyway and they were super helpful and i was happy to get a partial refund.

Login to your Airbnb, then on the following site, go to "contact us" and then "report an issue". Tell Aibnb in that report you want to make a complaint about your stay and that you expect a refund or whatever you want them to do etc. Note: Airbnb to advise you try to make an agreement with the host first, but if you feel uncomfortable, i'd just complain to them directly as not everyone feels comfortable doing that. they were honesty super helpful and i showed them pictures and videos as evidence etc.

https://www.airbnb.co.uk/help/?audience=guest

goodluck

AbbeyGailsParty · 07/10/2023 11:51

Why isn’t there a lock on the door?
I think you need to move asap. Did you check the room for cameras?
If you didn’t, wait until it’s dark and use the torch on your phone to go over the room slowly, especially light fittings, air vents, any ornaments. If a blue light shines back at you you’ve found a camera.

molotovcupcakes · 07/10/2023 11:52

I had a similar problem with 2 air b&bs not having locks on the doors, one was too successful she had 8 rooms all filled with guests and expected everyone to chat to each other and hang out together but I was working and just wanted to chill at night. I felt a bit worried that any other guest could just walk into my room.
It’s one thing that hotel staff have access to rooms but without a lock you add in other guests having access as well.
I have booked self contained flats through air b&b and they have been great.

Wbeezer · 07/10/2023 11:56

Is she German, they are obsessed with airing rooms ?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 07/10/2023 12:13

Just skimmed This sounds difficult. If you can't check out. Can you put your valuables in a locked suitcase in the meantime?

Conkersinautumn · 07/10/2023 12:19

I'd have to leave, I couldn't feel safe enough with a host essentially insisting on zero personal security and privacy.

riceuten · 08/10/2023 18:19

AirBnB hosts would rather you never actually turned up but still paid them. They just don’t get this whole ‘hospitality thing’. I’ve heard all sorts of tales where bedtimes and rising times are strictly prescribed, guests ejected for most of the day, and not allowed access to most of the house, yet are forbidden to eat anything there. There was a tale recently where a family were denied towels with all sorts of pathetic excuses. The owner obviously had a thing about it. If you don’t like people, don’t AirBnB.

Watchkeys · 08/10/2023 18:22

@riceuten

That's not representative of AirBnB hosts. There are some rubbish ones, but it's a successful business because it works, and it works because most hosts host well and the guests are happy with the service.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 08/10/2023 18:43

Complain to Airbnb. They can offer a refund/help you find other accommodation/both. Airing the room is reasonable so long as not a security risk but having to leave the door open and the host entering the room are not acceptable. (I would not enter a room a friend or family member was using in my house without asking!)

Bugbabe1970 · 08/10/2023 19:43

Do you have a key to the room? I mean does the door lock? Because if it doesn’t the it really doesn’t make any difference if the door is open or closed

MMAS · 08/10/2023 19:44

You haven't said how long you are staying. In any case it smacks of either a host that has unreasonable demands or maybe trying to mask a smell from smoke or damp. Either way, not a lot you can do but leave a bad review when you leave to warn others.

riceuten · 08/10/2023 20:01

I know more people who have had bad experiences than good.

Watchkeys · 08/10/2023 20:06

riceuten · 08/10/2023 20:01

I know more people who have had bad experiences than good.

So? Your experience isn't conclusive.

minpin · 08/10/2023 20:39

This should have been within the hosts rules. I would contact Airbnb.
I am an Airbnb host and would never do this ! I also have a lock on my bedroom door and a lock for any guests, because it is definitely a bit weird sharing your home with strangers !

lljkk · 08/10/2023 20:45

I have stayed in lots of AirBnBs with hosts and never had an issue.
Is OP expected to sleep with the door open, too?

That's where I would draw the line (open while asleep, I mean).

How soon are you done & leaving, OP?

Irridescantshimmmer · 08/10/2023 21:14

Citizens advice bureau may be able to help but if you check the site below too.

The host is clearly not firing on all cylinders so if any of your belongings went missing, due to a complete lack of security she'd be up a batshit creek without a paddle.

This website may be helpful

Airbnb | Consumer Council Advice Directory

Airbnb is an online payment platform that connects potential guests with ‘Hosts’ who wish to rent their home as holiday accommodation.

https://advice.consumercouncil.org.uk/directory/airbnb

Sworntofun · 08/10/2023 21:21

I’m an AirBnB host and that is absolutely batshit. Definitely complain to Air BnB and stand your ground with the ‘host’ over your privacy. Asking you to leave your bedroom door open is outrageous. Leave if you can.

MP57 · 08/10/2023 21:35

Totally unreasonable host. You should have your privacy. Move on to another property.

Mittleme · 08/10/2023 22:06

It's ridiculous demands I mean . The funny thing is people never know that's their demanding rules until you move in . You cannot leave your door open am afraid .
how do you protect your valuables ? Anyway they always have spare keys anyway but do u have a safe where u can store valuables ?

Xxdeborahxx · 08/10/2023 22:59

I never knew the tip about shining a torch in the dark to spot hidden cameras. That sounds scary.
I would hate to stay at a place where someone demands the door is kept open. It's just weird.
I had a friend stay at mine for 3 months in my spare room.
Before they stayed I used to keep my bedroom door open but during their stay I shut it as I thought it more polite if they got up in the middle of the night.
They kept the door closed when they weren't in the room. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking them to open it.
So rude to ask. Bizarre as well.