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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Airbnb host opens my private bedroom door

106 replies

GlitterGlobe30 · 06/10/2023 02:13

I've just started staying at this Airbnb and the host is very particular about her house rules (didn't know until after I started staying here).

One of her rules is to leave the bedroom window open everytime I leave the apartment (preferably just leave it open at all times) to air the room out and let the air circulate through because she doesn't like any smells settling in the room.

I started to leave the window open everytime I left the apartment but then she said that wasn't enough to help the air circulate and I have to leave my bedroom door open too. I feel uncomfortable with this as I have all my stuff in the room including valuable things like passport and laptop etc. It is just sharing the apartment with her but she also has her boyfriend round almost every day. And I don't like the thought of either of them nosying at my stuff when I'm not in the apartment. I came home today to find my bedroom door wide open when I had just left it open a bit when I left the apartment for the day. She actually said it would be fine to just leave it open a crack and then obviously changed her mind.

Aibu to think I should be able to keep my bedroom door shut whenever I want and to feel a bit uncomfortable with not having the privacy?

OP posts:
Basilton · 06/10/2023 05:02

Mothership4two · 06/10/2023 04:42

Yes I would want a lock on the door @Ponderingwindow

I think @Ponderingwindow has something of a point. Even if the door had a lock, the owner is surely going to have a copy of the key anyway. I couldn’t even contemplate staying in a an Airbnb room.

Abbymom · 06/10/2023 05:06

Agree you should contact Airbnb --if you are required to keep a door open, you are not renting a private room. If the description did not include this requirement, and the host classified her lodgings as a 'private room' vs a shared room, you should be able to either get a refund, or Airbnb will intervene with your host to ensure you can close the door / windows.

Mothership4two · 06/10/2023 05:32

Well you could say that about any holiday accommodation I suppose @Basilton - hotels/holiday homes? I have stayed in Airbnb separate holiday accommodation, ie not a house share, but the owners technically could still have accessed it. I would only go somewhere with a glowing history.

LAMPS1 · 06/10/2023 05:38

Getting a successful resolution..or any resolution at all …from Airbnb takes months in my experience. Getting any initial response from them at all isn’t easy. They are almost certain not to be local so you will be on a different time frame. It seems to me, they hope by not responding fast, that you will soon move on and forget about your grievance.

My advice OP, is to let your host know that you are upset that there is no lock on the door, further upset that you were expected to leave the window open at all times as this rule wasn’t evident anywhere before choosing the place. Also, be very clear in saying to her that on refection, it is entirely unreasonable and inappropriate to expect you to leave your bedroom window and door open when you are out and so you will no longer be doing so. Furthermore, your expectation is that neither she nor anybody else opens your door or window for any reason when you are out as this contravenes all privacy rules.

If you plan to complain to Airbnb I would make sure you let your host know all of the above in writing as you will need the text or message as evidence that you were clear about your complaint to your host as a first step in the complaints procedure.

You have paid for the room. The room is yours to use respectfully for the duration you have paid including the window and door. Open and close them when you want not when your host wants.

Make sure to leave an accurate review.

Caspianberg · 06/10/2023 05:40

@Basilton - that argument is the same for any accommodation though. If you stay in 5 start hotel, hotel will have key card or key for your room, guest house or b and b will have access, even if you rent permanently your landlord will have a spare key. in fact the fancier the pace the more likely they will be in room constantly as they will clean daily and often turn down in evening.
Nobody should be using without permission but they will have access.

determinedtomakethiswork · 06/10/2023 05:41

Getting a successful resolution doesn't always take months. My son stayed in an Airbnb recently where they thought they smelled gas. Airbnb had them out of there in no time and paid for a Hotel.

squashi · 06/10/2023 06:38

In my experience of staying in Air BnB rooms, as opposed to whole properties, there isn't always a lock on the bedroom door. However, I would expect privacy for the duration of the stay. Hope your stay at this one isn't too long and that you don't need to use it again.

autiebooklover · 06/10/2023 06:54

@Basilton when you stay in a hotel the entire staff can access your room if they do choose. Not to mention a random guest if they accidentally give the wrong key /key card. Or literally anyone if it's actual keys and they are hung up behind reception.

looking4pup · 06/10/2023 07:00

autiebooklover · 06/10/2023 06:54

@Basilton when you stay in a hotel the entire staff can access your room if they do choose. Not to mention a random guest if they accidentally give the wrong key /key card. Or literally anyone if it's actual keys and they are hung up behind reception.

How often do they open a door and leave it wide open?

nevynevster · 06/10/2023 07:19

Assuming she's just asking for the door to be left adjacent when you are out, I'm not sure I see the issue honestly. If she and her bf wanted to go through your things then the door being shut wouldn't stop them. There's virtually zero difference between a shut door and an adjacent door if no lock is involved!
She does sound a little precious and I think she should be making this all clear in the description.

Mothership4two · 06/10/2023 07:35

looking4pup · 06/10/2023 07:00

How often do they open a door and leave it wide open?

Show quote history

Not the point they were making. Basilton commented that Airbnb hosts will still have a spare key to a lockable door so it's still not secure. All holiday/rental accommodation will have spare keys

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2023 07:44

I'd buy and set up a webcam so you can watch any activations and see what anyone has been doing in your room, then you can use it as evidence if they've been in.

It's what we've done in our son's rented flat. He gets a ping when motion is detected, so he knows if and when the landlord or workmen are in the flat and what they're doing!

CharlotteBog · 06/10/2023 08:00

Raise the issue with your host and if you get no joy then raise it with AirBnB.
Regardless of whether she's being reasonable or not, the fact the privacy and security measures were not explained to your or appear on the listing is bad form.

AirBnB listings have the following

"Privacy and safety :Lock on bedroom door" and hosts have to say whether there is one in a shared space.

CharlotteBog · 06/10/2023 08:01

*Bedroom locks

Guests should be able to lock the bedroom door from the inside (for their privacy) and from the outside (for the security of their belongings). A lock with a key, paired with an interior latch, is recommended.*

CharlotteBog · 06/10/2023 08:02

*Can Airbnb host enter your room without permission?

What we don't allow. Physical intrusions: Hosts, guests, and those affiliated with them or working on their behalf must not access or attempt to access any private spaces without prior permission. In shared stays, this refers to bathrooms when the guest is inside, bedrooms, or beds in shared rooms.*

Zonder · 06/10/2023 08:03

How long are you staying? Time to look elsewhere. You could try the spare room website.

autiebooklover · 06/10/2023 08:07

@looking4pup oh I agree it's out of order. The door should be lockable and kept locked.

It's more in response to someone saying they wouldn't stay in a air bnb because host can access the room. Anywhere we stay can be accessed by the host/staff regardless.

Sparklesocks · 06/10/2023 08:11

Always amazed people like that rent their rooms/houses out on Airbnb because clearly they’re so particular that they can’t cope with other people doing normal things in their home.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 06/10/2023 08:15

Not sure what the problem is here. You're staying in someone's private home. Even if the door was shut, once you go out for the day there is nothing to stop her opening it. Even if it had a lock, she'd have a spare key for it. (which her boyfriend would presumably have access to).

It's totally normal for bed and breakfast hosts, hoteliers etc to enter rooms when guests are out, in order to clean them or carry out repairs. Which is why you're usually told NOT to leave valuables, passports etc in them. It would be more reasonable to ask her to provide a safe/ secure/ locked place to leave your valuables when you're out, and suggest this in your review.

Staying in an Air B & B place implies a certain level of mutual trust and respect, just like any other homestay/ house-sharing/ communal arrangement. You have to trust her not to help herself to your stuff, and at the same time she's trusting you not to steal from her. She's a got a lot more to lose in this situation that you do!

If this set-up doesn't suit you, maybe a budget hotel would work better next time.

YANBU to worry about the window being left open if -for example- it's on the ground floor, or somewhere easy for burglars to reach, and therefore puts your stuff at risk of being stolen by someone from outside.

CharlotteBog · 06/10/2023 08:17

Surely leaving a window open if no one is in the house completely invalidates any home insurance. I'm sure the host has to ensure the space they are renting is fully insured for guests.

Lurkingandlearning · 06/10/2023 08:24

I came on to also say that closing the door while you are out won’t stop them nosing through your stuff if they want to do that. Nor would a lock on the door because they would have a spare key. In fact, hotel staff could also nose through your stuff when you are away from your room if they wanted to.

Humbugg · 06/10/2023 21:42

She sounds bonkers. I would be looking to stay else where

Iknowthis1 · 06/10/2023 21:44

She's nuts.

scoobydoo1971 · 06/10/2023 23:07

I run a holiday let business. I won't use airbnb as a property manager, or consumer. It is the one problematic platform in the tourist industry, in my view. Back to your problem, check out and ask airbnb for a refund. What she is asking is a breach of your privacy and you are renting that space. Also tell airbnb that the property owner is violating fire safety law by keeping doors open. Bet she doesn't have wired fire alarms and fire rated doors either, as required by Home office guidance under enforcement from October 1st 2023. Perhaps tell her she is asking you to break the law by keeping a bedroom door open.

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 06/10/2023 23:14

I had something similar. Rented what I thought was a self contained flat. But it wasn't it was a granny Annex and the hosts were horrendous. Demanding access at all times ( including at 7am in the morning) her partner assaulted me and tried to force his way in when I refused him entry as it was an inconvenient time. Left a horrid review on me full of lied on my profile. I had no way of responding or leaving them a review as they had changed my booking and it was too late.