Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

1000 rent a month is low in some areas! And no, I don't mean London. £1400 fir a 2 bed locally to me

Hi OP,
So many (well meaning and great) ideas here for you but not many realistic in your current situation.
I'm a single mum (dad no contact) and work for a charity in a very deprived area.
First to help with food costs I'd look for local food 'pantries' not food banks (not many people realise you can only get referred there 3 times in 6 months) where as local charities run the pantries and you can use them weekly for a small fee and get decent food.
Local councils do have household support funds that can help you through but as with the discretionary housing payments mentioned somewhere, are quite hard to get but worth a go.
Stepchange can take on the debt and act on your behalf and even freeze interest if you are paying any.
Gas and electric companies have 50 million to help people who are struggling, again not easy but definitely worth a try.
I do honestly think local charities can do more for you than CAB and council, so have a look what's in the area and see what they can help with.
Hope this helps a little bit, if I think of anything else will post tomorrow!

OP I’m so sorry you’re in this situation and you’ve been on the receiving end of so much rudeness. People clearly have no idea how much rents have risen in the last few years. I live in the Midlands and a tiny 3 bed semi near me is up for £1,300 a month. The third bedroom is barely a box room, it’s minuscule, and yet people are wanging on like you live in a mansion. We pay our water bill every six months, it’s always been about £200 each time since we moved in 8 years ago. Our latest bill has jumped to £430 out of the blue, our useage hasn’t increased. It’s disgusting how dads like your ex can play the system and get away with it. £7 a week is an insult. FWIW you sound lovely and your son is lucky to have you. I hope things improve for you both.

It is honestly crap and it's not likely to get better - I've never seen prices come down once they go up...!

I saw Octopus are introducing free air source heat pumps. I'm game for one of those. I do have solar and a battery - bought using an unexpected tax rebate after I lost my job - so I know I'm lucky to have lower energy bills, though in winter, they sky rocket as we use a lot more gas.

But if you have a variable electrocity tarrif, you can save £££ by charging up a battery when it's cheaper and using the battery to run things when your tarriff is high. It will save you a good few quid every day. To size the battery, work out how many kWh you use every day and that's the battery size you need.

Batteries can be expensive, so buy what you can afford and as you start to save £ add more battery capacity in. The batteries used in campervans are a good start but use google too and look at YouTube reviews.

This won't stop the mess we're in, but it might mean you can heat a room using a fan heater so you can get changed or before bed x

I’m sorry OP. I am also noticing a huge hit, so much so that I have been chipping away at my tiny savings pot for months now and I have no way of putting it back in again. My car insurance went up a stupid amount even when I tried to shop around, I’ve never paid this much before. My rent is over £1000pm too, and I have a child shoved in a mini tiny box room. We cut down on food but I see you don’t pay much. I hope for everyone it does get better x

Car and home insurance is rising massively. I dread to think what mine will be at renewal time. I always shop around too. It's so depressing that essentials like those, energy, petrol etc can randomly shoot up and the money just has to be "found" from somewhere .

Try https://www.turn2us.org.uk/

Some charities are very location specific

I volunteer for one and we struggle to give our grants away at the minute. But we know there must be a need. There may be one that could help with something like a heated airer. Don't be too proud. With hindsight I could and should have sought support rather than skipping meals and freezing.

I started volunteering because I was once where you are, impossible ex, debt from court, child maintenance service and HMRC useless, and juggling my job around school runs and working late into every evening to make up tbe time. You should feel very proud how you are coping.

It gets better I promise (although I agree the cost of living is a total kick in the nuts).

Some banks are offering up to £200 to do a switch. It’s not long term but might help? Check money supermarket

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. This country is an absolute disgrace at the moment. Plese don't give up hope as people's fortunes can and do change. I hope things ease up for you soon. Remember what a gift your beautiful child is and so lucky to have you.

We pay £1050 a month rent for a 1 bedroom flat right now. In the south east. It's an absolute joke and unless we move a very long way away from family who will be providing free childcare for me to go back to work, we won't be able to rent anywhere cheaper.

OP, I don't have any answers but sending hugs. You sound like a great Mum xx

@Mangofandangoo agreed about the rent prices, we need to move to a 2 bedroom in January and we are looking at roughly 1400-1600 a month.

As long as the tumble dryer is a condenser one it won't cause damp if that is what LL is worried about. I'd just go ahead and get one provided it's not in your contract you can't have one. Where abouts in the country are you OP?

Sorry to hear how tough things are, OP. I hope that when your credit card and council tax underpayment are paid off, that will help a tiny bit. But I appreciate that rent is the real killer. I don't know if you saw a previous poster's suggestion that if your landlord owns several properties in the same area, it might be worth asking if they have a slightly smaller/cheaper place you could swap to? (This worked for my family member recently.)

Best of luck, OP

Putting up rent by £300pcm.is ridiculous and unfair. I feel guilty putting my rents up by £60pcm even though mortgage rates for me went up 14 months in a row.

Would the tumble dryer fit in a bedroom or the dining room?

Don't do that. That's terrible advice. If you don't pay council tax they are very quick to take you to court and if you didn't pay you'd get a CCJ. If you get one of those you'd find it almost impossible to find a new rental property.

I bought a Minky electric clothes airer with a cover from Argos for £60 and although clothes take a while to dry (I air dry first on a normal airer/outside line) the room is actually warm and don't need to put on central heating (I use it in the living room)-if i have to put CH on for children's bedrooms i finish off any laundry on their radiators (usually school uniform)
Social tariff broadband and landline with BT £20pm
Ditto re some water companies £20pm
Wonderbag non electric slow cooker - cook on the hoc then transfer in a pan on a trivet or thick towel inside the bag and food will cook and stay hot for 6 hours +)
electric throws (weeklydeals4less about £35)
swap things like rice and pasta or potatoes for cous cous (no cooking)
I eat twice a day and don't mind cold left overs (me, not the children) the next day
cup a soups
big thermos to keep water hot and not boil kettle several times a day
sleep in hoodies and thick joggers
use warm hubs (free hot drinks and meals)
water saving shower heads (you can them free/discounted from your water company)
0% credit card
selling stuff on facebook marketplace or vinted

You can cut your phone bill. Lebara is £5 a month or 1p mobile is £10 every 3 months. £20 for a phone bill is really high.

There wasn't really a Blitz spirit. Just the usual mix of human beings, and very difficult times. Some helped each other, some preyed on others. As something to aspire to in a CoL crisis - well, IMHO that's just spin, to keep us from moaning too much...

@TwentyTwenty20 do take a look at the Mental Health board, where you will find many helpful people who can support you in supporting your relative.

Anyone reading this who is in social housing, your housing association may have a Tenant Support Officer if you are lucky.

As someone said earlier, the CAB are an excellent and professional service (though sadly strapped for cash, of course, compared to when I worked there).

I’m a lone parent private renting on UC. I don’t put the heating on at all. Didn’t last winter, won't this one either. I’m crippled by the ridiculously excessive gas and electricity bills anyway using hardly anything. I do let DD use a fan heater to dry off after morning showers in the winter but don’t use it myself. We have plenty of warm fluffy style pyjamas and "oodie" Primark things to layer on as needed. Loads of fluffy blankets and teddy bear bedding. Neither of us are left cold.
There are ways around everything.
DD got into Grammar school, I raided the second hand sale by being first to arrive at the induction evening.
I save every penny I can every month (which is less and less every month now) to ensure an emergency contingency plan just in case we're ever stuck.
I am incredibly strict with money. Birthdays and Christmases are sorted months in advance.
There is always a way. You just have to think around every scenario you have and what might happen, pinch every penny everywhere you can. Make sure you're getting all support you're entitled to.
We're Mums. We take the flak and power through.

Op, first if all well done for keeping your show on the road.

My mortgage is 2500 and my electricity bill is 518 a month. If things continue as they are, life will be tough but if they rise further I'll have to tap out.

Wtf has happened!

I think it's time people took to the street to protest for housing, health care, the whole lot.

It's like there needs to be another workers rebellion.

Nice stealth boast ffs

Really feel for you OP, it's impossibly tough. Is there any scope for you to ask for a pay rise at work? I've been struggling too so put together a case for why I should have a higher pay rise than the standard 3% that was given to all staff this year. Work didn't want to lose me so agreed.

Make sure your current salary is giving you the highest take home pay as well - is your tax code correct for example? Can you opt out of pension contributions temporarily for some breathing room? Drastic but might be critical.

Also have you contacted the loan and credit card companies to see if they would temporarily reduce your minimum monthly payments? Some are doing it now I believe.

@TwentyTwenty20 Your Landlord broke the law by increasing your rent by more than 10%