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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep 6 of us living in 3-bed house?

75 replies

1houseandhome · 05/10/2023 14:14

I've been poised to do an extension of some sort since moving into our lovely house 2 years ago.

But for some reason it feels completely wrong to knock down walls and muck about with what is a lovely house.

Also any one I know who has done an extension of any sort has obviously had some trouble- and their houses are actually freezing.

I just feel my house is just right, and doing an extension feels wrong.

Right now two kids share the dining room as their bedroom- so kind of 4-bed.

I guess the point of my post is I secretly feel that having an extension has been a bit of a craze, and people aren't necessarily always right to have done it- and ruined an otherwise perfectly good house.

Obviously it's up to me- but it's the first thing people ask when I bought my house- what are you going to do to it. And everyone seems unsatisfied when I reply: 'nothing'

OP posts:
BodenCardiganNot · 05/10/2023 14:15

Also any one I know who has done an extension of any sort has obviously had some trouble- and their houses are actually freezing.
Sounds as if they used poor builders and probably didn't get good advice from architects/engineers maybe.

crumblingschools · 05/10/2023 14:16

How old are DC?

Babyroobs · 05/10/2023 14:17

I think it depends on the ages of the dc. We have used our downstairs front room as a bedroom for many years so that our four kids could have their own rooms. We did extend at the back to make it open plan but do agree it's a lot colder and difficult to try to heat that space !

LyndaLaHughes · 05/10/2023 14:19

I have both a rear extension and a loft extension. No issues with cold or ruining the house. As kids get older, having additional space is essential.

arintingly · 05/10/2023 14:22

Our extension went very smoothly and we are very happy with it.

But it really depends on how happy you all are with the house as it is. I note that you say you're happy but don't really say what everyone else in your family thinks.

Personally, quite high priorities for me are the kids having their own rooms and having a dining table that can seat our family and a couple of guests. Of course that isn't always financially feasible but, if it is, that's what I would want.

Original poster
1houseandhome · 05/10/2023 14:23

Kids are 14 - 8.

Also we're a blended family so they spend time with their other parents- and it actually feels like we do have enough space right now

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 05/10/2023 14:24

What age are the DC who share?

Original poster
1houseandhome · 05/10/2023 14:25

arintingly · 05/10/2023 14:22

Our extension went very smoothly and we are very happy with it.

But it really depends on how happy you all are with the house as it is. I note that you say you're happy but don't really say what everyone else in your family thinks.

Personally, quite high priorities for me are the kids having their own rooms and having a dining table that can seat our family and a couple of guests. Of course that isn't always financially feasible but, if it is, that's what I would want.

Yes we haven't really had guests round much which is probably the main thing that's missing

We do eat round a dining table in the living room- so not totally perfect

OP posts:
jessycake · 05/10/2023 14:27

If you are happy leave it as it is and save the money , it's a lot of money to contemplate spending to please other people .

Original poster
1houseandhome · 05/10/2023 14:34

Yes when I looked into the money last year- builders were charging so much more because of brexit etc.

But now with interest rates so high the cost of borrowing is ridiculous.

Plus just with friends this weekend saying how freezing their house is (it is!) so all things considered decided not to do it anymore

OP posts:
BodenCardiganNot · 05/10/2023 14:39

Which children share the dining room?

Ap24 · 05/10/2023 14:41

If you're happy with the house as is then I don't see why you would bother with an extension. Extensions can be great but I do think a lot of people get them wrong and mess up the natural light making the house feel gloomy.

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 05/10/2023 14:44

Can you clarify who sleeps where? Sex and age?

It doesn't sound ideal to me but I don't live there.

Burnamer · 05/10/2023 14:56

you sound as if you care more about the house than you do the children. 2 sharing a dining room isn’t ideal at all.

coffeeoffee · 05/10/2023 15:19

I think you need more space! Not sure how you do it, but each to their own

Marblessolveeverything · 05/10/2023 15:30

I understand what you are saying. Sometimes it isn't necessarily about knocking walls etc it is about improving functionality. Realistically, at some stage the children may want more privacy. Yes years ago people shared until they married yada yada yada. But today we tend to live differently.

I would ensure they have a bedroom each - purely because that means some degree of peace when the older years arrive and the boyfriends/girlfriends descend!

Devilsmommy · 05/10/2023 15:37

Why is mn so aghast at children sharing a room? Many people grew up sharing and had no adverse effects. Op if you don't want an extension then don't get one, who cares what anyone else thinks. If you love your house as is then keep enjoying it as is

AutumnAuntie · 05/10/2023 15:42

Three of my friends have had extensions and their houses are amazing. All their DC have a bedroom each and they have lots of reception/kitchen space too.
They started with four bedroom houses and now have five bedrooms, a few bathrooms and various downstairs layouts.
Can you actually afford an extension?

CantFindTheBeat · 05/10/2023 17:14

Doesn't sound like you want an extension. Nor is happily sharing a downstairs bedroom a good cause to do it.

Our extension is brilliant but it was costly, inconvenient and time consuming (and we had a great building team, don't think you could get a more professional team to be honest).

The anticipate outcome is what keeps you going, in my opinion. If you're not bothered by it, why do it?

Dramatic · 05/10/2023 17:18

We are a family of 7 in a 3 bed house (also using a downstairs room as a bedroom like you so technically 4 bedrooms) we currently have two kids (11 & 13) sharing the downstairs room and two sharing an upstairs room (3 & 8) the 16yo has her own room.

Our living room is small and the kitchen isn't big enough for a dining table that fits us all, but we manage and I do wonder if the time/expense of an extension would be worth it, especially with the kids getting older.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 05/10/2023 17:21

An extension can be wonderful if you need one and can afford it, but from what you've said OP, I really wouldn't bother, as it comes across that you'd only really be doing it for other people and not to improve your family's life style. Save the money, or if you have it going spare, then spend it on making memories with the kids.

stayathomer · 05/10/2023 17:25

Op same as that, most people I know who got extensions don’t act like they turned out as what they really wanted- they say they miss eg their old dining room/playroom or whatever. And yes, they all feel too big and cold! I say save your money and revisit in the future if you want to!

kitchenplans · 05/10/2023 17:39

We have a large side extension and a loft conversion, and in both cases the insulation in the extension has been far superior to the original walls, so the extended areas are warmer in winter and cooler in summer. Obviously a bigger space needs appropriate sized (bigger) rads to heat effectively in winter, but it would be a very shoddy builder that didn't make sure the right sized rads were installed.

Our extensions are amazing! Best thing we've ever done. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lovely large eat in kitchen plus utility room, whereas originally we had 3 bedrooms, just one bathroom, tiny galley kitchen and no utility.

Stompythedinosaur · 05/10/2023 17:47

I guess if it works for your family then there's no need to change it. But does everyone in the family feel the same?

The op reads like a attempt to reframe the situation, do make it positive, and that's fair enough. But I wouldn't see an extension as ruining a house. And it doesn't sound ideal to have so many people in a house that size, if you have a choice. If you don't, then I agree it isn't worth worrying about stuff you can't change.

Ariela · 05/10/2023 18:04

Don't do it then. Instead consider levels of insulation, thickness of double glazing, solar panels & battery etc etc to make running costs as low as possible.