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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep 6 of us living in 3-bed house?

75 replies

1houseandhome · 05/10/2023 14:14

I've been poised to do an extension of some sort since moving into our lovely house 2 years ago.

But for some reason it feels completely wrong to knock down walls and muck about with what is a lovely house.

Also any one I know who has done an extension of any sort has obviously had some trouble- and their houses are actually freezing.

I just feel my house is just right, and doing an extension feels wrong.

Right now two kids share the dining room as their bedroom- so kind of 4-bed.

I guess the point of my post is I secretly feel that having an extension has been a bit of a craze, and people aren't necessarily always right to have done it- and ruined an otherwise perfectly good house.

Obviously it's up to me- but it's the first thing people ask when I bought my house- what are you going to do to it. And everyone seems unsatisfied when I reply: 'nothing'

OP posts:
chrissycn11 · 05/10/2023 18:05

My house was built in 1960 and our 2 year old extension is much better in extreme cold/hot weather than the rest of the house.

Purplebunnie · 05/10/2023 18:35

People don't always upgrade their boilers after having extensions Most of the time you need a bigger boiler to cope with the extra radiators. We found after our boiler gave up our extended house was much warmer with the new boiler as it had capacity for the extra radiators

FreebieWallopFridge · 05/10/2023 18:46

1houseandhome · 05/10/2023 14:25

Yes we haven't really had guests round much which is probably the main thing that's missing

We do eat round a dining table in the living room- so not totally perfect

Show quote history

You have 2 children sleeping in a dining room which has meant moving your table into the living room and there are 6 of you - how on earth do you think counts as “enough space”?!

Millybob · 05/10/2023 18:49

Why would you care if other people are unsatisfied with your house?

Comedycook · 05/10/2023 18:51

Sounds pretty tight space wise...I wouldn't be happy so would probably want to do the extension. Your reasons for not doing it seem pretty flimsy to me.

FKATondelayo · 05/10/2023 18:51

YANBU OP. As long as ALL of you are happy and there are no issues with opposite sex sharing. Extensions mean 6 months+ of living in a building site as well. That's a long time when you are 8 or starting GCSEs.

Plenty of people grew up in crowded, multi-generational homes, sharing bedrooms with one or more siblings. It's not ideal but it's also not an issue for many as long as the family is happy and there is some quiet space to access.

arintingly · 05/10/2023 18:52

I'm not "aghast" at room sharing and, if that's necessary financially, it is what it is. But I think most teenagers especially want privacy which I don't think is unreasonable and is what I would want to give my children if I could.

Less important but still helpful is enough living space that the kids can have friends over comfortably or do different things.

Hankunamatata · 05/10/2023 18:53

Go up and do loft conversion? House temp shouldn't change and get diningroom back as living space

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 05/10/2023 18:55

Unless you can’t afford it I’d say you really are unreasonable not to have an extension. Or move. Particularly with a blended family. And eating in the living room, if there is an alternative, is not optimum.

Dolallypip · 05/10/2023 18:56

FreebieWallopFridge · 05/10/2023 18:46

You have 2 children sleeping in a dining room which has meant moving your table into the living room and there are 6 of you - how on earth do you think counts as “enough space”?!

Edited
Show quote history

We have 4 adults and a child living in a two bed house- so need 4 bedrooms. Two reception rooms are used as bedrooms, so we have one communal living room, and a dining room (and kitchen and bathroom obviously).

People always think we are mad but it works for us and is so much cheaper than any alternative.

We have looked into converting the attic but decided it isn’t worth the money.

Iamclearlyamug · 05/10/2023 18:59

I've currently got 4 of us plus a dog in a 2 bed flat. DP and I in the main bedroom, DD11 in her room and DSS18 is on the sofa bless him.

The plan eventually is to sell my beautiful corner sofa (😢😢) and replace it with a double sofa bed for DP and I, and DSS18 will move into the main bedroom.

It's a squeeze but we're managing so far

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 05/10/2023 19:00

Jesus your poor kids.

FKATondelayo · 05/10/2023 19:09

I think the YABU/YANBU divide is definitely down to who lives in London and who doesn't. Grin I know plenty of families in London in 1/2 bedroom flats.

6 in a 3 bed isn't even that bad. Two to a room.

BoswellTheScribe · 05/10/2023 19:19

If I had the choice of an extension I would go for it! If you get a good architect and builder it can be done sympathetically. You don’t need to have enormous spaces if you add rooms rather than area. (Obviously depends on individual houses).
We have 4 of us in a 2 bed flat and I would love for my kids to have their own room but we’re in social housing and there is no chance of getting a bigger place, as we can’t even go on the list for a 3 bed until the eldest is 16 (same sex sharing), after which it’s a 10 year wait!

ChocolateTea · 05/10/2023 19:34

Wetting myself laughing at pearl
clutching and think of the kids and how awful it is to share and god forbid people eat in the lounge!!

absolute crap

if you and your family are happy then keep your house as it is. We have four basically adults now living in a 2 up 2 down. Our dining room is now a bedroom. Yes no one shares but if we had open plan still downstairs they would. 🤷🏻‍♀️ we have a small lounge and a galley kitchen so shock horror eat on our laps with trays. But our outgoings are tiny compared to our friends and we are all happy.

you don’t have to have an extension if it doesn’t work for you. Or you don’t want it. Kids sharing, especially those who go between two houses, is absolutely fine for so many more of the population than the demographic on mumsnet

bellac11 · 05/10/2023 19:39

Im waiting for someone to suggest a social services referral. Utter neglect!

Oysterbabe · 05/10/2023 19:54

We converted our loft to give us more space and it's amazing, hands down the nicest room in the house. It isn't cold.

starpatch · 05/10/2023 19:57

My extension built by previous owner does make my house really cold! But I think its not properly insulated.

Samlewis96 · 05/10/2023 20:12

FreebieWallopFridge · 05/10/2023 18:46

You have 2 children sleeping in a dining room which has meant moving your table into the living room and there are 6 of you - how on earth do you think counts as “enough space”?!

Edited
Show quote history

Many people don't even have a bloody dining room separate to living room.

namechange55465 · 05/10/2023 20:24

6 people in a 3 bed with a dining room really doesn't sound that bad, particularly if they're not all there full time. Do the two that share mind sharing?

nobodysdaughternow · 05/10/2023 20:28

I'm so

PickAChew · 05/10/2023 20:41

Our extension isn't that well built (built before we moved in) but it's easily the best insulated room in the house. Just don't go down the path of rooms with the proportions of a village hall.

MooFroo · 05/10/2023 21:16

we had an extension several years ago and kids got a bedroom each.
I think I preferred it when they shared rooms and they were closer relationship wise- never been the same since they all could spend time alone in own rooms! We all love the extra family space and eat together etc but if it’s not needed and it works, then very sensible to keep what you have x

Calmdown14 · 05/10/2023 21:16

It depends on the house. I decided against going out further as it would have made the middle space too dark (terrace). Two storey would have ruined well shaped bedrooms upstairs.

I did reconfigure though.l to make better use of existing space which has made a huge difference.

My sister did and extension and hers is great, even the over garage bedroom is well planned with dressing room and ensuite space. But I've seen loads on her street done poorly and giving you ridiculous narrow spaces that are difficult to furnish.

Some houses lend themselves well to it, others don't.

I suspect we'll see a lot less extensions with current interest rates. In the last few years many people came off a fix at 3-4% and moved to 1-2%. It meant adding 60k to the mortgage for an extension didn't cost a huge amount more per month (but it will when that fix expires).

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/10/2023 22:04

You say it's a blended family

Are all 4 kids same sex ? Are they always living there or go and see mum /dad

It's not the end of the world for children of fame sex to share a bedroom - tho many on mn seem to think all kids should have own room

Yes if has money and space

But not essential