To think Dog Owner was out of line?

[TheLancelotoftherevolutionaryset]

I’m still really upset by this four hours later and I can’t work out if it’s my fault or not.

Walking home with DC juggling an enormous unwieldy craft project they had made - think Blue Peter Tracey Island style affair. DC walking pretty sensibly, but my hands are full so they’re ahead of me not holding my hands.

Dog Owner (DO) comes into view heading towards us on a bike with dog running off lead. Dog starts veering towards us, ignoring calls of DO to come back. Both DC are very nervous of dogs and prone to jump/squeal if approached which I know makes things worse. I call to DC to stand still, be calm, it will be ok and catch up to them but feel a bit defenceless with my hands full. Stupidly, I have this instinct that as well as DC I also need to protect ‘Tracey Island’ so I don’t put it down.

Dog runs around us a bit, sniffs, DC are brave and still for a few seconds til DO has gotten off the bike and retrieved dog. DO says ‘sorry about that.’

I feel annoyed- this is not the first time an off lead dog has barrelled up to the DC on this road. And stressed, I don’t have use of my hands! I say, ‘if you’re sorry, the solution is to keep a dog that doesn’t respond on lead.’ DO says dog usually always comes when called. Maybe this is true; other owners have said the same- perhaps all these incidents are because my DC are irresistibly attractive to dogs?? (I didn’t say this!)

DC express some nerves moving around dog and DO but I reassure them and we continue on our way and move on to talking about other things. Suddenly I hear a noise and realise DO has followed us. DO wants to ‘resolve the issue.’ I say not necessary, you apologised, keep the dog on lead and it’s resolved. DO says what needs to be resolved is the needlessly aggressive way I handled the situation, I was wrong to speak as I did and it was an unpleasant encounter.

I was pretty shocked to be honest. I felt threatened to be followed, blamed for the encounter, judged for my reaction. DO was really pissed off. The onus is surely on the owner to control the dog, not on us to be comfortable with any and all dogs approaching? I also don’t think I was aggressive, though I was clearly unimpressed and didn’t hide it, and so that may well have seemed ‘rude’, although I think it was justified.

AIBU to think it was DO who was out of line?

The dog owner was in the wrong 100% for riding a bike whilst having an out of control dog off lead.

Remember the OP and her kids were walking along minding their own business before they encountered an excited dog off lead and who wasn't paying attention to its owner.

Owner clearly knew he was in the wrong but instead of apologising and moving on, he decided to follow the OP to try to intimidate her.

He's a shit dog owner and shit huMAN.

I had missed your post @BatteryPoweredMammy until today. Interesting I see that you guessed ‘man’ like most people. I was quite careful not to specify in the OP. Funny to see how it doesn’t need to be said. Though it does make me wonder, would it change the response if it were a woman?

Sadly, it's a man thing. 🤨

There's a certain type of bloke who gets uppity when their feathers are ruffled by a woman.

If you'd been a man out walking with his kids and got annoyed, the bike rider would have likely slunk off and said nowt.

If he'd been a stroppy dog owning woman instead, she'd have probably argued back at the time, maybe even swearing at you, but it's highly unlikely she'd bother to cycle back after you to continue the argument.