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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that my child is not the unusual one !

279 replies

Lostmymarbles25 · 03/10/2023 14:36

group mum chat today and we were discussing the birthday parties coming up and Christmas ( they do a class secret Santa ) quite a few were suggesting the girls wanted vouchers for Sephora etc for some face cream routine stuff and some kind of elephant cream 😅 they have just gone in to year 5 so mainly 9 approaching 10.
I was explaining that for DD that she would be happy with any sort of squishy / anime surprise bags / fidget toys / rocks. This was described as unusual ?
I don’t think it’s that unusual - she would not know what Sephora is or the difference in face creams !
will she start to fall behind in what her peers are growing in to ? If I suggested face cream for Christmas she would probably cry 😂😂😂
she is not in to her dolls as much anymore but more like Sanrio character / anime figures / slime / fidgets / art sets / rocks / mini brands / mini verse etc
I don’t remember it being this unusual at this age.

OP posts:
GingerIsBest · 03/10/2023 16:05

My DD is a bit younger - 8, nearly 9. She loves the things yours does - give her a loom band box, a fidget spinner, a box of slime and she's thrilled. She also loves make up and dressing up etc.

I like this age because they're a bit of everything.

Pockettopic · 03/10/2023 16:06

I’d be more concerned for a 9 year old thinking they need face cream!

Natsku · 03/10/2023 16:07

My daughter would not have wanted face cream at 9 years old. She was completely uninterested in such things until she was 11 and went to a sleepover and the other girl had a skincare routine, which made her think she needed one.
Now at 12 her friends are really into skincare and make up (she's settled with just moisturing her face because its prone to dry rash and has no interest in make up, thankfully) but that's around the same age my friends got into make up so pretty normal, unlike 9.

SnowflakeCity · 03/10/2023 16:10

My dd wasn't into face creams but she wasn't into toys either. I remember it being a really awkward age to buy gifts for. She's always been creative so I think it was art supplies, craft kits etc at that age.

Stokey · 03/10/2023 16:11

Y7 DD here who did get into a skincare routine in Y5/6 but only because she was an early developer and had bad acne. She's got Cerave though not Drunk Elephant! She also wouldn't have been impressed to get them as a present in Y5.

One of her friends just had a birthday and was asking for Fenty items which I'd never heard of.

Agree it's a Tiktok thing. Mine don't have it so aren't influenced.

ActDottie · 03/10/2023 16:14

I didn’t even really know what face cream was at that age other than it was something my mum used each day.

1month · 03/10/2023 16:21

My teen wants both.

Loves face creams and beauty products but also wants squish mellows and teddies as well as PlayStation games like call of duty and GTA.

I’ve always loved that she isn’t too influenced by what other girls her age are doing and I hope those are things that the girls really want else they’re going to be disappointed.

Your DD seems absolutely normal to be. She’s a kid.

If you want any beauty things then you can get lip gloss and soap making kits from places like the range, which I think are fun but also age appropriate.

sayhellototheworld · 03/10/2023 16:23

Year 5 girls are using drunk elephant products now? Bloody hell. They seem expensive to me.

ManateeFair · 03/10/2023 16:28

OP, I don't think your child is unusual - but I also don't think your friends' children are unusual either. Different kids like different things.

I actually think when I was 10 I'd have been very happy with toys/collectibles but I'd also have been happy with some nice skincare or bath stuff. I can remember how exciting it was to get something 'grown-up' now and again.

The main things I wanted at that age, though, were always art/craft supplies, stationery and books.

Caffeineislife · 03/10/2023 16:30

Do a lot of the girls in dd's class have older siblings? Or all heavily on tiktok/ insta/ social media?I 've seen this in schools I've worked in where a class is predominantly younger siblings or very tiktok or other social media dependant. They are copying their older siblings and the exposure to makeup ect is there from a tween/ teen sibling. The "elder sibling/ only child" girls in the class were "younger" in regards to interests and had more play based interests - slimes/ fidgets etc.

Both types of interests in the scope of normal for age.

partypant · 03/10/2023 16:30

My very social, cool and very pretty (I'm not biased. She really is considered this amongst her peers) 16 year old (who has an equally great boyfriend) wears minimal makeup. Mascara most days. A little eyeliner flick on occasion. Lip gloss if going out. Sometimes. At 10 she was not at all interested. Other than Halloween makeup so really only started wearing anything age around 14.5 and that was very rarely and just mascara.
I found the girls who started early were also the ones who pouted in selfies and started asking pics in their bras on IG. They are also the ones who are now desperate for a boyfriend and get all their sense of self worth from which if any boys like them.
Your dd is doing just fine.

TiredCatLady · 03/10/2023 16:32

What have I just read? 9/10 year olds after £50 moisturiser?

Scaredycatttt · 03/10/2023 16:33

I didn't start using face cream until I went to university 😅

I do vaguely remember playing with make up at primary age sleep overs though

Wanttobekind · 03/10/2023 16:37

I only started perusing Sephora and learning about Drunk Elephant a year ago…at 42.

She is not at all unusual, and it’s great that you don’t sound like you encourage her to get caught up in growing up too fast. 9 is still so young.

Xmasbaby11 · 03/10/2023 16:45

Your dd sounds completely normal. My Y5 9yo would love squishies and art stuff! However she is beginning to take an interest in looking after herself and has some simple boots facial washes and moisturiser. Her friends like doing face packs on sleepovers, but they are just general cheap ones or mashed up banana. She wouldn't have heard of any brands or anything.

My 11yo has to be forced to wash her face with a facial wash and is quite spotty - wish I'd enforced it earlier!

DarkDarkNight · 03/10/2023 16:48

I think the mums would like a voucher from Sephora! That is ridiculous, some girls that age might be getting in to skincare but at that price point? That is crazy. How much do you spend? I doubt you’ll get much bang for your buck.

BrieAndChilli · 03/10/2023 16:52

DD is 15 and still isnt really into much makeup type stuff - she does have skincare stuff and make up but just normal cheap brands nothing trendy or expensive.
My neice is 9 and is deffo still in the funky nail polish and a bit of glitter phase. Still into squishies and cuddly toys etc.

TForBea · 03/10/2023 16:53

That is insane! What good is face cream for a 9 year old?!
I feel sorry for those girls who at the tender age of 9, before puberty, are already so influenced by social media, it's deplorable.

Their childhood and girlhood has been stolen from them. It's a huge shame.

TForBea · 03/10/2023 16:55

Some shallow mums are probably totally into this too. It's thick.

Waitingfortheconferencehosttojoin · 03/10/2023 16:55

Skin care routines at 10 🤦🏻‍♀️ I started my skin care routine at 35…

BarbedButterfly · 03/10/2023 17:01

I think I got into all that when I started secondary really. I didn't really have dolls or anything at 9 or 10, but still loved cuddly toys. I mainly wanted books and ornaments, so I was a bit odd

Succulentsally · 03/10/2023 17:14

Mt dd is 9 and is just like yours. Her friends are the same. These mums and kids sound bonkers.

weebarra · 03/10/2023 17:41

DD is 10 and knows what Sephora and Drunk Elephant are. She doesn't have TikTok but a lot of her friends do. I agree that it's ridiculous. For her 10th birthday she got a lot of skincare and make up and one of her favourite things is doing make up.
I don't like it particularly but it's what she does. She also mentioned getting play doh for Xmas though. I've told her she has lovely skin which doesn't need loads of products but I do insist that the make up is always removed - with a gentle Aldi cleaner!

Original poster
Lostmymarbles25 · 03/10/2023 17:50

Hi
sorry after school madness has just settled !
don’t get me wrong - my daughter defo has left behind things like dolls / polly pocket / talking animals etc
to a few comments saying fidget toys / squishes are a bit young
she loves her squismallows- this year it’s a snorlax and Pokémon penguin squishmallow plus a kuromi build a bear that she wants.
slime is usually butter slime now rather than sticky and messy slime. She wants things like anime collectibles / figures. Asked for some practical things like an anime mug / bag etc
main gift will be to see my neighbour toroto in the west end.
fidget toys wise it’s the Needoh stuff and sensory key rings.
I think I get worried because she is out of school a lot - long periods and worry about her maintaining friendships.

OP posts:
TForBea · 03/10/2023 18:40

I showed this thread to my dd who is 15 and lo and behold, she knows the brands and products and is keen on buying some. At £60.00 that's not going happen any time soon. DD say that she knows some girls who buy these products just to make TikTok videos, they don't even use them 😆.