DS's school trip was offered on a 'first come first serve' basis and is now being drawn at random from a hat

[Worriedaandconfused]

AIBU to think the school should honour the first come first serve basis they initially stated for allocating places on the school trip?

They have, due to a 'huge response' of requested places, decided to draw names at random on Friday.

After promising my child a place and ensuring I handed the form in promptly to the teacher (in fairness, it sounds like a lot of other parents did, too), I'm now going to have to explain to my 4 year old he's unlikely to have a place.

How do your own DC's schools handle situations like this where there's limited places and lots of interest?

The school should be able to offer enough places. It is four year olds, not 16 year olds going on a ski trip.

I think it's worth asking whether they can obtain any additional places with some fundraising and/or more parent volunteers to help with managing ratios.

If it's not possible this time, maybe it will be next time. Perhaps the school didn't realise people would care enough to pitch in to make it happen for the kids.

The people who are above the pupil premium but don't have any spare money are the ones who will be deprived.

You're in a postion to pay at a moments notice, and you're in a position to go to the theatre any time at all. And now you have the same chance as anyone else to go, with your money not being and advantage or disadvantage. So really, quit whining.

You didn't care that some kids would lose out when you thought yours was a shoo-in.

@CheersToMe I used the words ‘afford to prioritise’ because I recognise monetary factors aren’t the only consideration. If I’m being unreasonable to think that my child specifically shouldn't miss out on this (as some seem to have implied) because he had been provided with those experiences, so be it.

There will be those that can't afford it so they will put provision in place so or will look as though it's drawn out of a hat

@whatnot929 I’m not in a position to go anytime…
I didn’t realise the trip would be so in demand (and neither did the school apparently) so couldn’t have possibly known there would be any children missing out.

I think you have whined more in your posts than I have mine. 🤔

You already said you go possibly go next weekend, and your posts have been whiny from the start, whereas mine, none.
Keep up with yourself, if not everyone else.

They should arrange a trip where all the kids can go.

Sadly he will have to get used to this. Teen has gone 3 years now and not got a place on any of the headline school trips. She only has a place on one next year as a lovely young teacher doubled the size of the trip to accommodate everyone.

This. Is it really that hard to accommodate everyone? FFS.

I think the trip should have allowed everyone to go. That said given they said it was first come first served that is what it should be as I you as a parent have your child were one the ones to hand their form early then its a different method why should they every believe anything that the school said in the future.

Urgh masons infant school was like that.I rushed to get forms in and luckily he always got a place.

my sons

@whatnot929, I said I could possibly go but it would be difficult after another poster suggested I take him to the show myself. It would mean a lot of work arounds and in reality, a theatre visit wouldn’t be that practical for us at this moment in time. If my son was really upset that he missed out, I could potentially find a solution but that isn’t a guarantee. So no, I cannot go anytime as you suggested and would appreciate that you stop mincing what I’m saying to try and make your own points more valid.

I really feel for the parents/families/children that miss out on experiences more generally speaking, but can’t stop my own children from doing things in fear that it’s not fair on those that don’t have the same opportunities. Like in this case, it’s a shame for ANY child to miss out, but by your own admission those kids would have been unlikely to get a place anyway (whether or not I handed my son’s slip in wouldn’t have made a difference to those families). so would the right thing be to not let my child go? I feel like your painting this to be personal attack to me - what else should I have done?

@PrincessHoneysuckle, I’m interested to know if anyone ever complained and if the school found a fairer alternative?

As PPs have pointed out, drawing names out of a hat can be just as unfair if it’s the same names all of the time. I would really like to suggest an alternative way of allocating places if they aren’t willing to offer to only one class so all the children are given the opportunity to attend.

I have only read your replies .. so not sure but you seem to assume someone else will get the place .

I do think drawing out the hat is fairer ..

my Ds once missed out on a trip because it was first come first serve basis . I couldn’t exactly say I need to go book a trip when it was first day of my new job..

my Ds has Asd so it’s hard for him to get it but life isn’t fair lots of things in school won’t feel fair .

my guess is someone has complained .

save your complaints for the really important stuff.

Drawing out of a hat is fair BUT it should have been given as the method of choosing from the off.

They shouldn't have said FCFS and then gone back on it. I appreciate they may have had all slips returned the following day but that was a foreseeable issue.

YANBU to be annoyed they've moved the goal posts.

As a working parent, I don't have the time to login and book as soon as the trip goes live, so I think it is fairer to all to have a random selection, not first come, first served.

This happened to me when I was 11, the school trip to France was first come, first served.

I’d never had a holiday at that point (mum couldn’t afford to take all of us anywhere) but unknown to me my mum had prepared for the trip by saving up, as my brother was 6 years older she knew roughly when to expect it, and one kid was just about affordable.

I was one of the first to hand in my form and payment. I was so excited, my first holiday! As one of the poorer kids in my school it was a huge deal to me.

Of course, they changed the rules to pick out of a hat. I wasn’t picked.

They decided to also offer a trip to Wales, I didn’t get picked for that either.

I still haven’t been abroad at the age of 43. I have been to Wales however.

These things matter to kids. They shouldn’t change the fucking rules. I’m still bitter about it now knowing how my mum scrimped for that holiday.

OP I honestly don't know what the best way is. Except maybe not offering a trip that cannot accommodate everyone!

My DC wanted to go on a residential trip recently that is first come first served. The letter always states that you need to go to X classroom at 8am. My other DC were there at 8am bang on and got a place no problem. This DC attended at 7.45 and did not get a place, turned out children were queuing from 6am! Surely this is crazy?? I honestly think names out of a hat would be fairer and I said that with my older DC too as I thought it was unfair on children who have to travel by public transport and so couldn't come there any earlier, whereas we happen to live nearby so the DC walk.

Anyway, sorry OP but I honestly dunno what is best!

@Starlightstarbright2, the school have said, to make it fair, 10 places will be made available to each class (R, Y1, Y2) for the name draw. I just assume that his chances are slim, especially if the children are going to be 'cherry picked'.

I'm still in two minds about complaining. I actually think it will be better received if I leave it for a while or I think it'll just look like I'm causing a fuss to get DS a place, which would probably have the opposite effect (and wouldn't actually be the reason).

@Oiyouoverthere, that's the only reason I'm posting and wouldn't have minded if they'd decided on this method from the outset.

@Iamalittleteapot I'm also a working parent but currently on mat leave. There's lots of things my son will miss out on because of this, I suspect, so I was trying to make the most of being able to get there early while I still can!

@TulipTuesday, how awful!! I hope the money your mum saved at least went on a nice treat for you both. Fingers crossed you get your abroad holiday soon.

@FUPAgirl, wow!! I know trips are generally in demand but that seems crazy! I hope he's got a few more school years left and gets another opportunity.

As PPs have pointed out, drawing names out of a hat can be just as unfair if it’s the same names all of the time.

Some school get around this by not adding previous winners to the hat.

Honestly, I don't know why schools make things harder for themselves though!

OP, I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think you need an intervention in primary school etiquette. it will save you a whole load of stress and upset. There were too many applicants, and as a pp poster suggested the forms went out electrically a day before, so you weren't first. School choose to "out of a hat" you just have to roll with it.
Is it fair? no do I trust school? no but accepting how shitty school is will save you 6 plus years of anxiety. Start a thread on shitty primary school experiences ...that will include..poorly behaved children getting star of the week ( done to encourage child to be nice) Governors children being house captains etc etc

But I urge to you understand that parents who really want their children to come first (i was one, a SAHM) will be advantaged, they can fill the form in fast, they can afford to pay the fee...they are not the children on free school meals, who's parents can't afford it ,or do not care. Or the parents who are stuck at work and miss the message. WE all wan't our children to be first, but you need to manage your expectations and look around you.

I sent extra eggs and craft items on Easter egg day...why?... because I felt strongly for the children who's parents wouldn't or couldn't help. my children remember this more than winning... I also paid for extra curricular activities for FSMC.

I dislike the idealist fitst come first served as it often also comes with a deposit so discriminates against those on a limited income
Also my DD missed out on a really exciting trip as it was ‘first come first served’ and the places were released at 5pm. I didn’t finish work until 6, so on that basis I think a random draw much fairer

This happened when I was at school, everyone voted for head girl and boy, we all voted for the same boy and girl, yet the girl no one voted for was apparently voted in 🤔