As a child I was brought up by my darling grandad (long story involving my narcissistic mother,enabler father and the fact I'm the scapegoat)
We had an amazing relationship-he was (and still is) everything to me-I was his carer and he was my everything-we adored each other
When I was 14,he started to show signs of dementia and my mother,aunt and uncles whipped him into a home faster than you could say 'he needs to go into a home' (even though they'd all promised him they'd never do that to him)
Anyway,he got more and more ill-its a cruel disease-the part that makes them who they are is gone but they are there-sat in front of you
He'd been going downhill for about a year,when it was clear he wasn't going to make the next few days
The home rang my parents to tell them this (they didn't pass that bit into me so I could say my goodbyes-in fact they didnt bother either) and I could only go about twice a week due to school
5 days later,I could go see him and he was laid there,wired up to loads of machines,a shell of the man he was-and he turned his head to look at me-we locked eyes and I told him how much I loved him (it took a lot of effort on his part-he was very weak)
I said my goodbyes and that I would come see him in a few days and left-crying my eyes out and refusing to believe I would never see him again
He died the following morning
2 weeks later,at his funeral,my mates mum (who was the manager of the home) came and told my mother that he'd spent his last week 'pushing' someone/something away while shaking his head and muttering my name (she told me this while laughing and saying it was bollocks)
I firmly believe he hung on for me-to say his goodbyes to me-and was 'pushing' whoever it was away-I hope it was his wife-the granny I never met
He saw me and could finally 'go' and be at peace
I hope to see him again when I go