To think the phrase “tomboy” is outdated?

[weathersweater]

So a girl who doesn’t like wearing dresses, or the colour pink and likes playing football - why can’t she not just be a girl who likes xyz?

Why do we need to categorise likes and interests with having a certain gender attached to them?

absolutely this

Exactly, just girl.
And as a pp said the equivalent for boys is what? There is no acceptable equivalent and we get on fine without one. The equivalents that do exist are horrible misogynist slurs. "Sissy," "Nancy boy"...we don't need to qualify a girl by comparing her to a boy.

Well it’s better than suggesting to them they might be a man as they seem to like to do these days. Take me back to the Tom boy days

When I was growing up in the 80s & 90s my mum called me a tomboy because I wasn't into dresses & dollies. I think society has moved on. I am still not very "girly" but I am still a woman. My daughter was a stereotypical little girl until about the age of 7 when she departed from those stereotypes and has done ever since. But she says she's a girl.

I'm not talking about trans, I'm talking about women who don't subscribe to the traditional stereotype of femininity for example clothes, hair, make-up, nails, occupation, choice of drink in a bar, or anything not deemed "ladylike". I'm way too lazy for those expectations. But luckily we don't need to follow them anymore if we don't wish to.

I think it was somehow easier in the 1970s for a girl to be tomboyish, and not to want to do girl stuff. I grew up then, and never wanted to be girly but I did want to compete with and beat boys at their own psychological games while using my intellect to beat them into admitting I was cleverer. But I never wanted to be lesbian.

I like it. I wanted to be George from the 5 and I associate it with her.
In the 80s many of my female classmates had short hair probably inspired by Lady Di but none of DD’s do now-they are ultra feminine and have stupidly long hair.

I'm not commenting on your DS's involvement, what I find saddening is that any woman feels that the answer to gender non conformity is body modification.

Taking testosterone is not a neutral act. Society will never see a young female as a man, no matter if they take take testosterone or go on to have mastectomies. These young people are being sold a lie. I find that horrendous.

Far better to say to young women that there is no limit to what a woman can be or do and that there is no wrong way to dress or behave but you can't change sex.

I didn't want babies in my 20s either, changed my mind by my early 30s. These young women are being robbed of so much and for what?

I agree so much it makes me want to cry.
Poor kids today.

Who are they?

@lifeturnsonadime , I completely agree that it's very sad. I didn't meet DS's lover. I am fairly sure I would have liked them warmly. But it was their decision. And I doubt it's irrevocable. Surgery was not being discussed.

I found it extremely offensive as a child in the 80s because (obviously) it's very sexist.

George in Famous Five personifies understandable longing to be free from gender stereotypes and the only way she can is by becoming a boy, but, as an 8 year old, I was very grateful to live in an enlightened 80s age where girls could be proud to be clever, brave and strong and not have to pretend they didn't have vaginas in order for that to be acceptable.

I told people to f off if they called me a tomboy!

I think you need to get out more.

As a previously defined ‘tomboy’ I do think this is right.

Ultimately we need to stop all gender constructs.

Unfortunately I think it is getting worse, and the the extreme ‘pinky-frillification’ of clothes and toys aimed at girls has alienated girls who don’t identify as a princess and boys who do enjoy dolls, nail painting etc, making both feel that they must change themselves to fit the ferociously marketed polarisation of ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’

And that these assumed qualities override being female or male.

I always knew I was female, I love being a woman, but have never identified as ‘feminine’, and I am not sure that would be so easy if I was growing up now.

@VivienneDelacroix , They is a polite pronoun for a non-gendered or non-binary individual, either male or female, which is the sense I have used it in this thread. My DS's partner preferred the term non-binary. They were natal female.

I was always happy to be a tomboy.

It’s not trans bashing to call out the trend that if a girl likes “boy-coded” things that a load of adults will jump and say they must be trans.

We have to recognise the difference between kids that just like what they like whatever “gender-code” society ascribes to it, and actual transgender people.

That is not trans bashing. It’s saying kids can play with what they like and wear what they like and it means nothing about their gender or sexuality.

I was called a tomboy as a child. I preferred the clothes, bikes, toys, and most of my friends were boys. I’m still like that now, but I’m very definitely a woman. I just like being outdoors and wearing comfortable clothes.

I think it’s a better thing to be called a tomboy and left to get on with it, than have your sex called into question, with possible life changing consequences.

Of course, in an ideal world, we could all just wear and do what we like without anyone suggesting we’re anything other than just ourselves.

I was often called a tomboy. I quite liked the label.

Totally agree, I always said I was raised in the garage and shed rather than the kitchen. My mother was astounded when they visited us shortly after we were married and I made a chicken roast dinner, 'Don't know where she learned to do that!'.

I was a tomboy, later on I found it offensive. Now I've started using it again
One, because some of the TRA's called tomboys "Disgusting abominations" and two because they also went after George from the famous five and said she wasn't a tomboy she was trans and three because if I was a girl now I definitely would have been convinced I was born in the wrong body.
So tomboy it is.

Hear hear!

This 10000%. I’m not sure why this is a hard concept to grasp?

It’s genuinely bewildering to have these comments about how the only other conceivable option is to be labelled as being non-binery. So a girl who likes football they automatically put in a box that she identifies as a boy?

The purpose of me saying tomboy is outdated is because a girl doesn’t need a different label to other girls just because her career aspiration might be to be an F1 driver:

And who would have convinced you?

Liking that label makes anyone an absolute pick me.

Apologies, my quoting failed. My comment wasn't aimed at you, it was aimed at the person who said this:
Well it’s better than suggesting to them they might be a man as they seem to like to do these days. Take me back to the Tom boy days

I wanted to ask who the "they" was in the phrase "as they seem to like to do these days"