AIBU to want a tummy tuck?

[AllUmder]

I hate my stomach, I have an overhang/apron. It's on my mind constantly, I check it in the mirror hundreds of times a day.

It's caused by weight loss ten years ago, I lost 6 stone. I've spent years trying to love myself and accept it. Years in the gym, weight training. Spent up to 3 hours a day with personal trainers, targeted fat loss, ate a totally clean diet, etc.

Nothing has helped. The past few months I'm so depressed about it, I get a rage of hatred and punch it.

My BMI is 22, I'm very fit, I dress well to hide it so you can't hugely notice in clothes, size 8-10.

DH is VERY against me having a tummy tuck. He thinks it's beyond stupid to have surgery for something I don't need. He says it's body dysmorphia - but it's not, he just loves me, we were married when I was overweight and he treats me exactly the same, it's like he never even saw the weight.

We can afford it, I can get time off work, we have no kids.

WIBU to just go ahead?

100% do it!!

But, if you are planning on having children, I would wait until afterwards.

Not biologically - I'm infertile. Pregnancy is not even possible for me.

I think from what you’ve said you sound a really good candidate for the surgery.

I went to Thomas Chapman. Based in Gloucester but also does Worcester. Get it done and enjoy!!

Also have a look at Nigel Mercer (Bristol) and professor Iain Whittaker (Swansea)

This may help, it’s my recovery process.

Two nights in hospital, mostly in bed and on a lot of painkillers.

Day 3 to 6 at home, either walking around the house or watching TV. I couldn’t do things like washing machine or dishwasher. I had one nap on day 3.

Day 6 off all pain relief, felt a lot better.

Day 7 went to a neighbours garden party, sat all the time and didn’t tell anyone.

Day 8 went to the cinema with my family.

Day 13 drive myself to cinema as wanted to check I’d be able to drive for my two week check up. Could potter around the house and do light housework.

Day 15 went on a fairly long clothes shopping trip.

Third week, I went out with three different friends as I’d been in a lot.

By the next weekend I could do everything in and out of the house.

I went back to my health club at six weeks but couldn’t swim for about 4 months, my stomach simply wouldn’t allow me to do it.

In your position yes, I would do it.

You don't need your H's permission.

Do what you need to do to be happy.

From your post I do think so. It doesn’t mean you are completely imagining your overhang, but body dysmorphia can make you literally see flaws as worse or more exaggerated than they are. So actually hallucinating the body part as bigger/saggier/wonkier/worse. It is quite scary stuff.

With BDD it is common to move onto the next “flaw” (e.g. begin mirror checking a different body part and seeing it in an exaggerated way/negative thoughts). This is why therapy could be a good idea. If you still want your surgery, then great, but you don’t want to move on to the next body part.

I am two weeks post tummy tuck, muscle repair and lipo. Back at work today (from home) - happy to answer any questions. Mainly - I would do it all again for sure!

@LittleBrownBaby can I ask how your recovery has been, being a week ahead of me

@AutumnAuntie I feel waaaay behind you!
No chance I could go to a party, I'm still bent double

It was a garden party, you know a mcmallian one where you have coffee and cake and there were lots of elderly neighbours and me!

@Orientalnamechange

Of course! It's been really good. Every day is an improvement. I haven't struggled with swelling like I hear a lot (I'm on some tummy tuck groups) but my appetite has shrunk a bit.

For me, moving has been key! I was back out walking at about 9 days post op and now I'm sort of "back to normal" apart from going to the gym etc.

I am tired by the end of the day though, and I have got an infected belly button so on antibiotics.

Generally the good has outweighed the bad. After 3 sections and massive muscle separation I just really couldn't wait to get it done. I'm amazed at the difference between one week post op and 2.

I was on a see saw yesterday with my son and had to remind myself what I've just had done!

How are you getting on?

Would love to see some before and after photos. Realistic ones not ones from the websites!

I'm in two minds. Because I do think when you develop such a long term and intrusive fixation with something, fixing it absolutely can create a vacuum that you fill with another problem.
You sound like something of a perfectionist and when you've achieved perfection in your body, there's a possibility you'll then decide your face let's it down for example.
If you more casually disliked your stomach I'd be less inclined to think this, but this is a very extreme view I think.
Obviously you know yourself best though.

Have you tried taping (kinesiology) the overhang to see how you feel without it?

A much younger friend of mine has had one done in Poland I think and it looks great I must say . If I was 20 years younger I would. You only get 1 crack at life .

I did it 3 years ago. Don't regret a single thing! I'd gone from over 16 stone (size 22) down to 10 stone (size 10). Had 3 kids along the way. Had an overhang above my c-section scar. The more weight I lost the worse it got and the more obvious it was. I was wearing a size bigger to allow for the extra skin so clothes that fitted around the overhang would be loose around waist and legs. Tops were hanging around the arms/shoulders/bust but sizing down wouldn't fit/allow room for the overhang.

Also, the fold would get red and sore especially in the hot weather.

I enquired to one cosmetic surgery company online, just to have a chat, get some info re cost and what it entailed. 10 months later the job was done! Would have been 3 months but it got moved 3 times due to covid.

As pp has said, recovery is hard. I couldn't go to the toilet on my own for 4 days after! But was pretty much back to normal within 6 weeks. Best money I've ever spent!

I don't think KT tape would hold it up...I can feel it all, even in the tightest control pants, it's the bulk.

Love the idea though!

The recovery doesn't put me off at all, as it's temporary - the option of having the overhang forever is a much worse thought.

I wish I could accept it, and be proud of myself, and I've really tried.

Appreciate all the replies and suggestions, thank you so much.

Tape it like a mesh from hip down.

I definitely would. I got huge during pregnancy and it never going to be the same after that 😐

My overhang made me feel sick, it was like a foreign thing attached to me.

I've gone from a 16-18 to a 12 and it's made me more confident in every way.

I've booked a consultation :)

Oh this is exciting !!!!!!