Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want a tummy tuck?

149 replies

AllUmder · 02/10/2023 09:40

I hate my stomach, I have an overhang/apron. It's on my mind constantly, I check it in the mirror hundreds of times a day.

It's caused by weight loss ten years ago, I lost 6 stone. I've spent years trying to love myself and accept it. Years in the gym, weight training. Spent up to 3 hours a day with personal trainers, targeted fat loss, ate a totally clean diet, etc.

Nothing has helped. The past few months I'm so depressed about it, I get a rage of hatred and punch it.

My BMI is 22, I'm very fit, I dress well to hide it so you can't hugely notice in clothes, size 8-10.

DH is VERY against me having a tummy tuck. He thinks it's beyond stupid to have surgery for something I don't need. He says it's body dysmorphia - but it's not, he just loves me, we were married when I was overweight and he treats me exactly the same, it's like he never even saw the weight.

We can afford it, I can get time off work, we have no kids.

WIBU to just go ahead?

OP posts:
Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 10:46

@bellac11 yes mostly they stay for recovery

Stayed at a 'recovery' hotel last year (with a family member). There were people by the pool who had all sorts of surgery, being wheeled out with their drains 🤦🏼‍♀️

I wouldn't consider being abroad for something on this level, it would be awful

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 10:46

I had one six years ago, I had an apron of skin that just didn’t feel part of me. I worked out five times a week and was a healthy weight but I was stuck with this bit of my body I hated.
I waited until my youngest DC was 17, I saved my own money and I didn’t discuss it with anyone. I didn’t need the go to the gym comments from people who clearly didn’t understand. I informed my DH what I was doing and went and did it. I’ve never looked back and literally never think about my tummy at all now.
The first few days are tough up until about day six, then it gets easier each day. By week three I was pretty much back to normal.

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 10:49

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 10:46

I had one six years ago, I had an apron of skin that just didn’t feel part of me. I worked out five times a week and was a healthy weight but I was stuck with this bit of my body I hated.
I waited until my youngest DC was 17, I saved my own money and I didn’t discuss it with anyone. I didn’t need the go to the gym comments from people who clearly didn’t understand. I informed my DH what I was doing and went and did it. I’ve never looked back and literally never think about my tummy at all now.
The first few days are tough up until about day six, then it gets easier each day. By week three I was pretty much back to normal.

How is your scar now?

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 10:51

How is your scar now it’s a long thin scar than be easily covered even with the tiniest underwear.
It is not a thing for me.

Original poster
AllUmder · 02/10/2023 10:51

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 10:46

I had one six years ago, I had an apron of skin that just didn’t feel part of me. I worked out five times a week and was a healthy weight but I was stuck with this bit of my body I hated.
I waited until my youngest DC was 17, I saved my own money and I didn’t discuss it with anyone. I didn’t need the go to the gym comments from people who clearly didn’t understand. I informed my DH what I was doing and went and did it. I’ve never looked back and literally never think about my tummy at all now.
The first few days are tough up until about day six, then it gets easier each day. By week three I was pretty much back to normal.

This is exactly how I feel.

It doesn't feel like part of me, I'm aware of it constantly. Honestly feel like I'd rather be dead than keep feeling like this, it's horrible.

I keep dieting to improve it, now you can see my ribs, my face is on the edge of looking guant, but then this awful overhang just hangs there.

I'm happy with every other part of myself, even though I'm obviously not perfect. My boobs are deflated now and saggy (going from 42F to 32D) but I shove them in a bra and they don't bother me at all.

I'm going to book a consultation.

OP posts:
bellac11 · 02/10/2023 10:53

How do people know or research the surgeon, what is it based on in terms of 'reviews' or information, where do you find out?

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 10:56

@AllUmder definitely get a consultation and see how you feel after that
You have nothing to lose

Any reputable surgeon will offer 2 consults at the least, with no pressure to book or part with any money
Also don't go anywhere that has 'reps'

I know exactly what you mean, I used to look in the mirror and it was all I could see on my otherwise beautiful body that has seen me through a lot.
A few days ago I hated myself for doing this but now im feeling a bit more human it's better

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 10:57

forgot to say I’ve not had any inclination to get anything else done since. It was the apron that I wanted chipped off so that’s what I did.
I was fortunate to only have stretch marks under my belly button so they have now gone

OP what is your job?

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 10:58

@bellac11 there are a few surgeons recommended on MN for tummy tucks

I asked around others that I trusted (my Botox practitioner) and had two different consultations

Original poster
AllUmder · 02/10/2023 10:58

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 10:56

@AllUmder definitely get a consultation and see how you feel after that
You have nothing to lose

Any reputable surgeon will offer 2 consults at the least, with no pressure to book or part with any money
Also don't go anywhere that has 'reps'

I know exactly what you mean, I used to look in the mirror and it was all I could see on my otherwise beautiful body that has seen me through a lot.
A few days ago I hated myself for doing this but now im feeling a bit more human it's better

Totally understand that reaction 'what have I done!' But it will so, so be worth it.

Did you have to pay for initial consultations?

One has just replied to be saying its £200 for an initial consult.

OP posts:
Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 11:05

@AllUmder the one surgeon charged £160
The one I eventually went with offered 2 free consults as I work for NHS (and we get fuck all benefits elsewhere lol)

A consultation fee is usual.
Places like Transform where you see a 'rep' generally don't

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 11:06

Where are you based?

Original poster
AllUmder · 02/10/2023 12:00

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 11:06

Where are you based?

Worcestershire/Herefordshire border!

OP posts:
Original poster
AllUmder · 02/10/2023 12:00

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 11:05

@AllUmder the one surgeon charged £160
The one I eventually went with offered 2 free consults as I work for NHS (and we get fuck all benefits elsewhere lol)

A consultation fee is usual.
Places like Transform where you see a 'rep' generally don't

That's really helpful, thank you

OP posts:
Blackcoffee1 · 02/10/2023 12:05

Hi OP, I won’t say don’t do the surgery - it sounds like you are confident in your choice.

But it does sound like you have a touch of body dysmorphia as well. The mirror-checking is a dead giveaway. Think about having some therapy sessions before the surgery.

You can always do it over zoom. You might be surprised how much it makes you feel better, and better equipped for the surgery. It might reassure your DH too.

Original poster
AllUmder · 02/10/2023 12:17

Blackcoffee1 · 02/10/2023 12:05

Hi OP, I won’t say don’t do the surgery - it sounds like you are confident in your choice.

But it does sound like you have a touch of body dysmorphia as well. The mirror-checking is a dead giveaway. Think about having some therapy sessions before the surgery.

You can always do it over zoom. You might be surprised how much it makes you feel better, and better equipped for the surgery. It might reassure your DH too.

Do you think so? I'll definitely consider therapy. I just want to feel happier with my body, if I could avoid surgery that would be great.

I guess I think my stomach is so bad, I could never accept it, if that makes sense?

OP posts:
AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 12:19

OP can you grab your apron and sort it move it around independently from the rest of your body?

MinnieMouse0 · 02/10/2023 12:20

I saw an instagrammer get a “mommy makeover” recently including tummy tuck. Not going to lie, her belly looks so good now - better than mine and I’ve never been pregnant or overweight! The operation and recovery does sound pretty brutal though, which would put me off. It must be ££££ too?!

Also I don’t think you will necessarily find another hang up to obsess over. Kind of the same but I hated my teeth for years, was so self conscious of them so eventually got invisalign.. my teeth look great and I haven’t replaced the obsession!

Neverhot · 02/10/2023 12:27

I've had a tummy tuck op and it's the best thing I ever did. I did lots of research and had a few recommendations and went to a private clinic in Lithuania. The surgeons there are amazing and all operate in the UK. It was an amazing experience from start to finish, the pain was nothing compared to the breast lift I had at the same time.

BadBadDecisions · 02/10/2023 12:37

Oh god, do it. Best thing I ever did, by far.

Orientalnamechange · 02/10/2023 12:39

I have pics of what was taken away from my stomach, it's brilliant

Original poster
AllUmder · 02/10/2023 12:40

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 12:19

OP can you grab your apron and sort it move it around independently from the rest of your body?

Yes, it's like it's almost a section of fat/skin, hanging onto my body.

I can hold the overhang itself in both hands. The skin itself is wrinkly, but on a thick section with stubborn fat.

If I do a plank, you can see the entire section of skin/fat hanging down in folds.

OP posts:
Bansheed · 02/10/2023 12:40

I had it and was WFH, full time 10 days later. Nest think I ever did amd mine was major.

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 12:52

OP you mention that you don’t have DC, are you planning on having any?

piscofrisco · 02/10/2023 13:01

I'd do it in a heart beat if I had the cash