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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this put you off? Casual fat shaming..

62 replies

Xyzzzzzz · 02/10/2023 00:25

I’ve been on a few dates with somebody. We were getting on but I feel put off after this evenings date. We went for a meal. When we got back in the car after he casually started talking about the couple sat behind us. He was laughing at the fact they ordered a Diet Pepsi with their food and then apparently one of them said ‘I’ll never eat all this’ when their food arrived and he found that funny too. He ‘looks like they haven’t had a problem finishing their food before’. Aibu to be put off by this casual fat shaming of strangers and also I never even noticed what they ordered or listened to what they were saying, he was clearly listening in and being nosy.

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 02/10/2023 00:32

Yes. He sounds like an absolute knob.

Sneering and laughing at strangers because of the way they look is a horrible thing to do and not in any way funny.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
You know he is mean, judgemental, unfunny man now. Surely you wouldn't want to see him again

theGooHasGone · 02/10/2023 00:33

Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.

notanothernamechange12 · 02/10/2023 00:33

Red flag what an arse

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 02/10/2023 00:37

Yuck. He sounds judgemental and small minded.

P3anutbutt3r · 02/10/2023 00:42

And this is why fat people like myself miss out on various occasions because we are too embarrassed to be seen eating in public.

I also drink coke zero. Preferable taste to full fat coke.

Sparklesocks · 02/10/2023 00:44

Yep sounds like a dick.

also a red flag that any ideas for conversation have dried up so quickly that he had to resort to slagging off strangers.

RandomButtons · 02/10/2023 00:54

Throw this one back. Not worth your time.

Superduper02 · 02/10/2023 01:06

It would put me off even being friends with someone. Clearly very insecure himself.

PandaExpress · 02/10/2023 01:09

He's one of them people who has no personality, so has to resort to taking the piss out of people. You'd be in for a lifetime of it. Dump him!

PotOfViolas · 02/10/2023 01:10

He does sound bitchy which is off putting.

Sorchamarie · 02/10/2023 01:16

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You know he is mean, judgemental, unfunny man now. Surely you wouldn't want to see him again".

This. Definitely ok to be put off by mean behaviour!

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/10/2023 01:19

That would definitely put me off. Not even just the fat shaming specifically, but that he's prepared to watch and slag off random people at all.

sobercuriouskind · 02/10/2023 01:21

Yes. What a total d1ck. Avoid all future communication.

Newnamehiwhodis · 02/10/2023 01:35

Oh, I’d drop him immediately. This is him on his BEST behavior, mind. Making fun of other people is an immediate “nope” in my book. What a creep.

Firetree · 02/10/2023 03:19

Imagine the things he says when you are not around. I can't imagine they are nice or kind things.

14blackcrows · 02/10/2023 03:29

Yeah I'd be repulsed. Would remind me of my mother who makes constant nasty comments about strangers. I'd be blocking his number. Can't stand people like that.

Nagado · 02/10/2023 06:21

I’m incredibly nosy and love people watching, so that bit wouldn’t put me off necessarily, but the spitefulness and playground bullying would make me want to knock him on the head. It’s so unnecessary. They’re a perfectly innocent couple, just trying to have a nice time, the same as him. They’re not bothering or hurting anyone. What’s in his nature that makes him want to hurt them and mock them? And if this is him on his best behaviour, how much nastier does he get when he’s not trying to impress you quite as much?

Throw this arsehole back. He is not a good man.

dayofcheese · 02/10/2023 06:28

You can bet he'll be saying nasty stuff about you behind your back if you stick with him. Ltb

Sunshinenrain · 02/10/2023 06:44

theGooHasGone · 02/10/2023 00:33

Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.

Love this!

ChaToilLeam · 02/10/2023 06:46

He’s a dickhead, throw him back!

Sunshinenrain · 02/10/2023 06:46

He sounds vile and bitchy, which is one of the worse qualities you can have in a man.

I’ll also never understand mocking someone for having a diet drink.
I’ve heard people use this to mock fat people several times now and it doesn’t make sense.

Having a diet drink with your meal means you can still go out and enjoy things that normal people do but you are just reducing the amount of calories you consume - which is exactly what you should be doing to lose weight.

35965a · 02/10/2023 06:49

I would not want to date a little bitch, it would put me off

Ggttl · 02/10/2023 06:59

He sounds like the insecure school bully who everyone dreads being lumped with on the seating plan.

Noicant · 02/10/2023 07:23

Yeah drop him, one of the things I like about my husband is I’ve never heard him describe someone elses appearance in a negative way. Mainly because he doesn’t give a shit. It’s utterly childish to behave like that and deeply unattractive.

Maatandosiris · 02/10/2023 07:39

Yes get rid, I’d always think which one of my features he was slagging me off for to his mates.

He sounds terrible.