Page 3 | Would this put you off? Casual fat shaming..

Xyzzzzzz · 2023-10-01T23:25:59+00:00

I’ve been on a few dates with somebody. We were getting on but I feel put off after this evenings date. We went for a meal. When we got back in the car after he casually started talking about the couple sat behind us. He was laughing at the fact they ordered a Diet Pepsi with their food and then apparently one of them said ‘I’ll never eat all this’ when their food arrived and he found that funny too. He ‘looks like they haven’t had a problem finishing their food before’. Aibu to be put off by this casual fat shaming of strangers and also I never even noticed what they ordered or listened to what they were saying, he was clearly listening in and being nosy.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 02/10/2023 17:16

Yes. That sounds really unpleasant and unkind. I definitely would not want to be with him.

Missingmyusername · 02/10/2023 17:18

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/10/2023 01:19

That would definitely put me off. Not even just the fat shaming specifically, but that he's prepared to watch and slag off random people at all.

^ Yes. Not very invested in your date, your company etc.

pictoosh · 02/10/2023 17:23

SmileyClare · 02/10/2023 07:41

You don’t win any brownie points with me by posting on here about it. It’s a tiny bit pious 😂

Id respect you more if you’d simply said something at the time if you thought his joke was in bad taste.

Perhaps this relationship is a non starter?

-You don’t feel comfortable enough to speak your mind
-He spent a lot of the date looking over your shoulder at other couples.

Did you catch that OP - you don't win any brownie points or respect from whoever the fuck this is. Next time check that what you're posting is worthy of a thread will you? She's the one to defer to, apparently. 😆

ehb102 · 02/10/2023 17:23

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. It is a massive mistake to think they will never turn that spite towards you.

ehb102 · 02/10/2023 17:27

Hey @bulbarsaurus , I have lipoedema, as do more than 10% of women. It's a fat disorder. So every time you sneer at us fatties you're taking the risk you are actually sneering at a person with an uncontrollable disease. Or do you sneer at people in wheelchairs too? What about people with warts and moles?

Notsuredontknow · 02/10/2023 17:28

Horrible. I would be put off instantly. If you’re not interested in seeing him again, make sure you let him know his unkindness is the reason.

5128gap · 02/10/2023 17:29

Yes. I HATE that. Those people, just out enjoying a meal and there's someone sitting there watching and sneering at them. You only need to read the threads on here from people who worry that this happens to them to see how hurt people would are by his type. I couldn't like someone like him.

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 02/10/2023 18:00

bulbarsaurus · 02/10/2023 08:19

Tbh my mind works like that and I can remember DH was shocked on the first date. He is still with me 10 years later. I have a very pessimistic view on life, he is very optimistic and we just work! I agree body shaming isn't nice, but at the same time we need to stop normalising being grossly overweight. I think over the last 10 years there has been a massive shift in what a normal weight looks like. The majority of people I see sat on the bus, walking around the supermarket or at my office are clinically obese. Even people that you think are just a little bit overweight are probably in this category (picture a man with a bit of a beer belly). I used to be very overweight and one day I looked in the mirror and told myself I have had enough. Some people will say it's none of my business but the fact is that obesity causes massive amounts of health issues from diabetes - and it's complications of eye, kidney and nerve damage. Heart attacks, strokes, chronic pain and joint problems due to the weight burden. Infertility due to adipose tissue releasing too much oestrogen and disrupting ovulation. And all of these things cost the NHS billions along with taking up several appointments that could be used for other people. If we had a private healthcare system and forced people to pay for extra room on flights then people could be whatever size they want and not bother anyone. It's just the entitlement that annoys me.

OP give him another chance. We all have views that aren't politically correct 100% of the time. Even the best of us. No one is perfect and I bet everyone on this thread has something they hide from others. If him being fatphobic is a deal breaker for you then I definitely wouldn't see him again but it's completely your choice!

I have a friend who does a lot of fell running. She’s very physically fit, really impressive stuff. Last year she slipped whilst running and badly damaged her knee and ankle. I expect it’s cost the NHS thousands and thousands of pounds to put it right, and there’s more to come. All because of her annoying sense of entitlement that she can just go out and do a risky leisure activity and the taxpayer
will pick up the bill, eh?

BardRelic · 02/10/2023 18:02

It's unkind and it's also the expectation that you will be similarly unkind. He assumed you'd agree and want to join in.

I'm no angel, but I always punch up rather than down.

StaunchMomma · 02/10/2023 18:30

Nobody actively seeks a partner with that little empathy, do they?

My knickers would be staying firmly up after that.

Lastchancechica · 02/10/2023 18:31

Fat shaming is never casual.

MalcolmsMiddle · 02/10/2023 18:37

bulbarsaurus · 02/10/2023 08:19

Tbh my mind works like that and I can remember DH was shocked on the first date. He is still with me 10 years later. I have a very pessimistic view on life, he is very optimistic and we just work! I agree body shaming isn't nice, but at the same time we need to stop normalising being grossly overweight. I think over the last 10 years there has been a massive shift in what a normal weight looks like. The majority of people I see sat on the bus, walking around the supermarket or at my office are clinically obese. Even people that you think are just a little bit overweight are probably in this category (picture a man with a bit of a beer belly). I used to be very overweight and one day I looked in the mirror and told myself I have had enough. Some people will say it's none of my business but the fact is that obesity causes massive amounts of health issues from diabetes - and it's complications of eye, kidney and nerve damage. Heart attacks, strokes, chronic pain and joint problems due to the weight burden. Infertility due to adipose tissue releasing too much oestrogen and disrupting ovulation. And all of these things cost the NHS billions along with taking up several appointments that could be used for other people. If we had a private healthcare system and forced people to pay for extra room on flights then people could be whatever size they want and not bother anyone. It's just the entitlement that annoys me.

OP give him another chance. We all have views that aren't politically correct 100% of the time. Even the best of us. No one is perfect and I bet everyone on this thread has something they hide from others. If him being fatphobic is a deal breaker for you then I definitely wouldn't see him again but it's completely your choice!

Wow you couldn't wait to work that in to a post could you? Not really sure how you having a pessimistic view on life means you can judge peoples shape but anyway, sure you're perfect.