I hate my SIL’s and this makes DH angry

[inARut243]

Most recent fight - I don’t want to invite his sisters to our youngest upcoming birthday, he does. I want my sisters there he doesn’t.

I know in ideal world it would be “fair” option to take I.e. they both come but I can’t have that for reasons below:

1. they have treated me appallingly - when my eldest daughter was born they made so many sexist comments (we’re Indians so in their mentality everyone wants boys), DH didn’t back me. MIL said her daughters would never say that and I’m making up stories! DH was present during both conversations and didn’t back me
2. they wrecked her first birthday by not speaking to me and embarrassing me infront of guests when I tried to introduce them to my friends. They are btw 14 years and 10 years older than me.
3. they have zero effort with me or my kids even though they live 10 minutes and 25 mins away.
4. I have never been invited to their home in the 10 years of marriage
5. when we met up during the early days at MIL home both sisters would roll their eyes at anything I said. Absolutely anything,
6. Every wedding, every party they have made it clear they don’t want me on their table and laughed and looked at me up and down everytime I dressed up. Making me feel very self conscious.

on the other hand my siblings have celebrated both my daughters, came over with gifts. Have made DH feel part of the family and remember his birthdays and send a message every year. Make so much effort with my firms and buy them stuff and call them on a weekly basis even though they all live many hours away.

this fight with DH will never end. It’s been 4 years since I saw his sisters but they are very active in our lives as we fight about them.

Suggest your DH organises everything for the party, his way. Just sit back!
Or just accept this is a husband problem: you either accept that he's an idiot who doesn't respect you, or you take him to couple counselling if you think he's worth it, or you walk...

OP - what are your reasons for staying with your husband?

I would tbh. I'd just invite them, along with your sisters, and hang out with your side of the family.

You have a massive DH problem.

But since you want to make this about the SILs: obviously don't invite people who hate and disrespect you to your house for your child's birthday party.

Your DH doesn't come to the parties anyway. I'd just go about arranging the party, invite only your sisters and don't even bother mentioning it to him again. Absolutely do not invite his sisters.
I think you know yourself, that most of us will be horrified by your husbands behaviour in general. But that's for another post.

He would never do that. He’s not they type to organise anything. When I was severely depressed one year the kids got nothing, no birthday, no card no cake nothing. His motto is birthdays don’t matter and I’m childish for wanting to celebrate my kids birthdays. For the youngest he only came to the first birthday (one where both his sisters ignored me and spent entire night looking in my direction laughing). He since then hasn’t bothered turning up, if my sisters would t have been there it would have been crazy trying to deal with 2 kids plus be a host on my own.

This guy is a massive bellend. Get rid.