Weight loss surgery- not morbidly obese

[Desperateinseattle]

I have had a lifelong struggle with my weight.

I am on the lower end of obese (short) bmi.

at my highest I was a size 18-20 I have over the years at a time managed to get to a size 10 and have then struggled in between ever since.

I cannot get a handle on it. Every few years I find a diet that really suits, think I’ve finally found the answer and live a healthy lifestyle only to find another couple years down the line I’m back to binging and struggling.

im coming up to mid 30s with two children and I just cannot go on any longer. I put on weight rapidly and always wondered why I struggle so much.

I realised recently that I at the heart of it have a very very real issue with food intake. I spent a week with some work colleagues in a property and realised I am so different to average people in regards to food. I think about food from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed. It’s insane. I genuinely thought everyone was the same 😳

I’ve had enough. I am fundemtally broken and I am SICK of struggling with my weight.

im considering getting some kind of permanent weight loss surgery so that I just simply cannot take In that amount of food.
I don’t want to live like this anymore.

if I’m not on a diet I’m piling on lbs and feeling shite about myself- and still thinking endlessly about food. If I’m on a diet it’s a mental game and again, I’m endlessly thinking about food. It’s a constant struggle regardless.

I want to get on with my life and no longer have my weight affecting me and while I know I’ll STILL always be thinking of food as I’m sure the wl surgery will require it’s own mental workload, atleast I’ll be fucking slim for the rest of my life.

DH doesn’t support. Says if I died having surgery it’s a waste of my life and the impact on our family huge. He calls it vanity surgery.

Best friend says surgery is for morbidly obese, not for someone with 3/4st to lose.

Im miserable. I just want to be able to get on with my life.

The only way you can get on with your life is to change your lifestyle. If you want to change your weight you need to change what you eat. Find what calorie level you need to sustain your ideal weight and eat that amount every day. You will slowly lose that extra three to four stone and have adopted a sustainable lifestyle.
Deprivation is not sustainable. Change is!

Have you developed osteoporosis yet? Dental caries? Ligament trouble? Sight issues?

I know how you feel. My sister has had a gastric sleeve. We both have the same eating issues but she for whatever reason let hers get grossly out of hand and went up to 22 stone. I’ve always just hovered in the a bit overweight bmi 25 ish bit. It depresses me but my sister has had loads of complications and it really isn’t worth it unless you are morbidly obese. She had it two years ago and she’s still not a healthy weight because the issues with food are in her head.

I have had weight struggles for years and have also considered weight loss surgery.

However, I decided to try ozempic instead and so far I have lost 30 pounds.

I want to lose a further 30.

The most amazing thing is that I am never hungry. Ever. Food just doesn't matter to me at all. It is so strange.

But it's liberating.

I get it from a private pharmacist. It is not cheap. Around £170 pm

A good friend of mine was four stone overweight and diabetic. She had a gastric sleeve in January and has lost about three stone so far.

It cost her about £10k (UK private) and she said it’s the best money she ever spent and she wishes she had done it years ago. She was like you, thought about food all the time, despite having a very responsible professional job and children to manage, her priority was always food.

If you can afford it, do it. She spent a long time researching which consultant to use and has had no problems at all with the surgery or her recovery.

This thought has been in my head but what I im curious about is the excess skin. If I don't eat enough I get lightheaded. I was thinking how do people cope on the portions and limits and feel the energy you get from good food in order to exercise?

My best friend and her brother went to turkey in January for the sleeve. She was 20st I didn't think she looked it until I see pictures of her just before her op and now. Her brother was 30stone. She is now in the 13stone bracket and I'm sure her brother is around 21stone now. The first few months for her were hard but she's all good now she can't eat yeast anymore though. Her brother goes cycling and has started jogging and weight training. He will probably need excess skin removal further down the line. However she was the same had an issue with food but she developed diabetes and also hear issues caused by weight. These issues have now gone. I will say she looked into this for over a year. Xxx

Look at weightlosssurgeon on Instagram. He recently did a post explaining fully why it's so easy to yo yo.

I had a bypass done by him (Simon Monkhouse) just over 6 months ago. Best thing I ever did but definitely not the easy way out.

Try Slimpod. That should sort your food head out and stop the non stop chatter. It did for me, I used to think about food non stop, now I have to remember mealtimes.

@Beckafett

A bypass or sleeve totally changes how your body processes food so you get what you need from less food (plus vitamins) It also reduces hunger. I thought I'd never survive but am very happy ob 1100 cals per day. You also eat lots of protein and avoid crap so you are fuller for longer.

Thank you for the reply, that's so interesting and helpful

Thanks for this thread OP. I’ve just sent an enquiry about therapy bcse I’d love surgery but I can’t afford it and I don’t think my DH would be supportive.

We spend our life eating and drinking, it’s a huge part of our relationship. All amazing home cooked food which we make together but I’m 5st overweight and he’s a beanpole.

Any advice for people in my situation, gratefully received!

I’m part of a very large group that started out as a WW group. Everything from 5lbs to lose to 300lbs to lose.

Loads of them are having massive success with the various drugs being used for weight loss, Ozempic, Wegovy etc. The one thing they all say is that it quiets the food noise in their head and they didn’t know that was even possible .

Multiple members of my group have also undergone WL surgery, some more than once. The thing they all agree on before surgery is that you have to do the mental work before you do the surgery or you’ll run the risk of gaining all the weight back (they talk from experience).

Good luck in finding the best path forward for you. Personally, I’d try a different drug before doing surgery as you may not have any side effects from a new drug.

None of the above.
I have low B12 and low Iron which are the only health conditions that I have gained since being sleeved in 2020- however I would say that the sleeve is also known for being one of the better operations for absorption of nutrients.

This.

I know people who have had WLS and only two (out of five) have been successful. Surgery will not cure you of your obsession with food. You need support before and post surgery to understand why you over eat and how to stop etc

I was morbidly obese when I had surgery so not really your target responder but I can say that it was life changing and I have never and will never regret it. I recognise the obsession of thinking about food, I was 100% addicted to it, it was my drug of choice. 2 years on, I don't really think about it much, just eat like a 'normal' person.

So, I was obese, and constantly binging / obsessed with food (it was a standing joke even at work that I just NEVER STOPPED EATING). Then 3 years ago I developed health issues that amongst other things mean I essentially have to eat like someone post-bariatric surgery (gastropareisis) (sp). I’ve lost a lot of weight, but it’s miserable. I’ve also got the loose skin issue, so whilst I look slim in my clothes, out of them I am saggy and wrinkly, and look terrible. I constantly want to eat, but can’t. I regularly give in to cravings, then bring everything back up.
Given my experience, and the fact that people with food obsessions can and do out weight back on after surgery, I would definitely looking at one of the alternatives, like Wegovy. PPs have said it actually dulls the food cravings, but at the same time if you are out with friends and want to share a piece of cake you’ll be able to. I can’t, and it’s horrible. I still think about food the whole time I’m awake, but I can’t eat. Honestly, it’s like a form of psychological torture - don’t do it to yourself when there are better alternatives available.

I was a size 18, had a gastric sleeve on the Monday, flew home thursday was back at work on Sunday. Never had a single complication or regret. Went from 98kg to a steady 63kg, able to go to the gym and qear clothes I like and be happy. I wish I had done it years earlier.

At my heaviest I was 16 stone and a size 18. For around 20 years I have been a size 8/10. I lost weight initially with Weight Watchers and glad it was of an age where surgery wasn’t an option as I found out where the real problem is - in my head. I actually became borderline anorexic in my first year of weight loss (for down to under 8 stone and was a size 4). I had counselling my my eating disorder and although (still 20 years on) I calorie count each day, it’s not as extreme as it used to be.

Anyway, the point I’m trying (probably awfully!) is that just surgery isn’t the answer. Counselling is needed and you’ll still battle with food but in different ways.

@Valerianandfoxglovesoup where did you get it done? I would love to have an experience like yours!

I've had weight loss surgery (bypass). It isn't a magic wand, it's just a tool. If you want to push it you can. If you want to gorge yourself stupid on slider foods you can. If you're not going to change your relationship with food you can and probably will put all the weight back on.

Have a look around WLS groups and count how many people are looking into a different surgery because they've put all the weight back on. Count how many people are asking how long before they can have crisps/chocolate/takeaway/alcohol.

Don't underestimate the impact it has on your family either. It's a wonderful tool when used properly and is very successful for many people. But you need to tackle your binge eating because you can still do it after surgery.

You have to prioritise eating foods which are high in protein. If you're working out, you need to consume more.

Excess skin is an issue for a lot of people. There are some things you can do to minimise it - exercises causing vibration or weight training mostly - but it doesn't prevent it. Many people also suffer from hair loss which goes on a few months too. The excess skin for some is really extreme. Lots of people have plastic surgery to remove it.

Yes. I know three people who had to have revision surgery, and more than that who regained. The bulk of people I know who had surgery lost weight and kept some off but either did not achieve or did mot maintain their goal weight (but did not regain all of it).

The lap band and balloon are particularly bad for problems. I also know two people who went to Mexico because their BMI did not qualify them in the USA. Their surgeries were technically successful (this isn't a surgery in Mexico horror story) but both had serious psychological issues that were not handled properly. That's something to be wary of when going abroad for surgery: the need for local followup and support. I don't know what your actual BMI is and I'm not asking, but I think the rules are there for a reason.

because the sleeve is not malabsorptive, it is less likely to result in nutritional deficiencies than a bypass (RNY) or BPD/DS. It also typically results in less weight loss.

I take semaglutide for diabetes, and I have lost weight. Keep in mind that this is a long term solution: the research we have now says that when patients stop taking it they regain. it is helpful not only in reducing appetite (and controlling my blood sugar!) but in making sweet foods less interesting and appealing. I went on it early enough (before it spiked in popularity) that these effects were not really publicised, so I didn't know to expect it or that it could happen, and I was very surprised. Still, semaglutide and tirzepatide can have some fairly significant side effects so again, needs to be considered carefully. I experienced delayed gastric emptying and for quite some time the manufacturers were denying it was an issue at all, or if it did happen it was simply the known possibility of gastroparesis as a consequence of diabetic neuropathy and nothing to do with the medication. But I turned up research with case reports.

@TigerQueenie completely agree with your point about how it impacts your family etc. It is so rough in the first few months.

You can absolutely push it with slider foods as well as you said. Another thing to note with the sleeve is that it restricts your food intake at that moment but let's say an hour later you can eat again and so on.. So over a day you can consume alot of food, which would result in a weight gain.

I’d consider getting some therapy first, it sounds like a lot of it is psychological and the therapy could help. Weight loss surgery should be an absolute last resort, any surgery is risky, and it won’t change your mindset towards food. And please don’t go abroad for it