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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with friend for feeding her daughter such rubbish?

23 replies

MyMummiesAScummyMummy · 05/03/2008 22:12

Okay, i know about all the fruit shoot/sausage roll threads on here before but. My r/l friend has a 20month old DD, shes been ill with various infections for some time now and over the last 5 days had suffered from a severe stomach upset vomiting and the runs. Shes been on the phone to me daily crying about how sick he is how worried she is etc. Anyway today she is better I was at her house, she fed her (between 11am and 5pm) a chocolate bar, 4 packets of wotsits, most of the can of her coke , and for dinner JUST mini sausage rolls. I just can't believe that she fed her this in the current circumstances. Also she refused to eat fruit salad, pasta carbonara etc that my dc's were eating, ok have more wotsits .

Is it just me or would you find this wrong also?

OP posts:

dizzydixies · 05/03/2008 22:14

unfortunately her choice though
some people just don't realise that it may have an effect on their lo's health
what a shame

bubblepop · 05/03/2008 22:14

well I quite like wotsits

LyraSilvertongue · 05/03/2008 22:16

That lot will have an awful lot of salt in it. Is this a typical diet?

wannaBe · 05/03/2008 22:16

coke!

LyraSilvertongue · 05/03/2008 22:17

Far, far too much salt for a 20-month-old. Can you have a quiet word with her?

Original poster

MyMummiesAScummyMummy · 05/03/2008 22:17

On a normal day fair enough, well, maybe. But after she's been so ill? I swear if she phones me tommorow to say shes ill again i shall swing for her .

OP posts:

Thomcat · 05/03/2008 22:19

I too was at a friends house today and was informed her Dd would "only eat crap". But if you introduce them to crap and let them eat it what do you expect? If you own 7 large varity packs of crisps and let them help themselves to the cupboards / fridge, what do you expect. No set meal times and a help yourself attitude - made me a bit tbh. just glad I gave my Dd lunch before we got there.

dippydeedoo · 05/03/2008 22:20

i dont think as an everyday diet that would do but am i alone in pandering to my childrens dietary whims when they are ill? i go by the theory anything to eat is better than nothing and if theyre gonna be sick they will be sick whatever.......plus the fact a child that can happily eat a happy meal/sausage roll/other undesirable treats cant be that ill anyway.
if im ill the only thing i fancy is chips and peas........and a slush puppy

paddingtonbear1 · 05/03/2008 22:21

Is this what she normally gets fed do you know? Or maybe she just wanted her Lo to eat something, after being ill? It does sound bad, dd loves crisps and choc but 4 packs?
Fortunately dd never asks for fizzy even if I have it, maybe she knows I'll say no!

QuintessentialShadow · 05/03/2008 22:21

My gp said to me once. "when the child is ill, let the child eat what the child wants, as the most important thing is to get it back to eating, not what it eats". I stick to that. When my sons are truly on the mend, I go back to my standard diet which is totally lacking in crisps and fizz, biscits and chocs.

LadyOfWaffle · 05/03/2008 22:21

I would be inclined to say YANBU, but my DS pinches my coke sometimes (only drink for morning sickness, easier just not to have it in the house now DS is older), had a munchie today, some of my twix and a few weekends ago we went to the coast and he went really odd... sort of sleepy and glazed over, so I let him eat some err... packets of wotsits in the car. That is by no means his diet at ALL, he is up to his eye balls in couscous, fruit, fish etc. etc. but if someone had peered in the window that day when he has a packet of wotsits in his lap and was swigging from a 2ltr bottle of lemonade, I would have been slaughtered!

WestCountryLass · 05/03/2008 22:22

If she does phone saying she has been ill again you could say that because she has had a bad stomach bug she probably needs to stick to the BRAT diet for a few days:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BRAT_diet

And that it might be worth giving the crisps and stuff a wideberth for a while. I always give mine digestive biscuits, toast and things that will bung them up and settle their stomachs.

Thing is with the coke and crap, some people do recommend flat coke and stuff after a tummy bug.

Original poster

MyMummiesAScummyMummy · 05/03/2008 22:26

Pad bear, q shadow, thanks for that, yes i can kind of understand that someting is better than nothing but it was just the volume of crap that got to me, and the fact that the normal diet is'nt much better, apart from other infections and stomach upset shes already been told that dd's anaemic, and has internal thrush, surely all this sugar would just exacerbate the problem?

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:26

Continue to be a good friend and support your mate don't judge or tut as she opens the wotsits.chances are she is struggling and resorting to junk food

she needs a mate, not another tutter to scowl

yeah long term is not nutritious, but maybe she needs help/support or practical tips from another mum with alternative ideas suggestions

i weaned on organic home made purees, and hey my mate used jars don't jeperdise a friendship over this

Original poster

MyMummiesAScummyMummy · 05/03/2008 22:31

Thanks scottish mummy, by no means would this jepordise our friendship, and if anything she is the older more experienced one from my group of friends, i just felt slightly annoyed when this happened, please don't get me wrong, i'm by no means uptight about food and i believe in more or less anything-everything in moderation.

OP posts:

DoodleToYou · 05/03/2008 22:31

Message withdrawn

Original poster

MyMummiesAScummyMummy · 05/03/2008 22:36

Doodle, yes i feel that way to and just wanted to check general consensus before we had a chat.

OP posts:

BroccoliSpears · 05/03/2008 22:40

I've never heard of BRAT. Interesting.

OP: YANBU.

paddingtonbear1 · 05/03/2008 22:41

if her normal diet isn't much better then yes there is def reason to be worried. I thought I was lax but...
obviously she does really care for her dd, so maybe a few tactful suggestions are in order! or there could be real problems later.

LambethLil · 05/03/2008 22:58

The only time I have let my DCs eat such crap was just when they were recovering from a tummy bug. Fluids and any salty/ sweet crap is just what's needed when they've had diarrhoea and vomitting. As to whether yabu I remember being really upset and disappointed when visiting a new friend and seeing her dish out bowls of spaghetti hoops to her and my DCs. In your case cut her some slack, but I know where you're coming from

madamez · 05/03/2008 23:02

When my DS had D&V the doctor recommended giving him coca cola. It's advisable to give that to kids with D&V as they will generally consume it and they need the fluds and the sugar.

Unfortunately DS spat it out in horror as he'd never had a fizzy drink in his life... But in your friend's case it does depend what sort of stuff her LO generally eats, as opposed to being indulged while ill.

SparklyGothKat · 05/03/2008 23:08

My SIL is terrible, she give her kids crap all the time. She has a cupboard of Fruit Shoots and Haribo full. She asked me if my kids could have any... I said no. On christmas day, they have christmas tree shaped chicken nuggets

colander · 05/03/2008 23:24

She isn't even 2 yet . Awful diet, not sure if there is anything you can do though.

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