To say step son can't stay here?

[eq4yz8cmk]

DH and I have been together for 14 years, he had split from dss mum a few years prior to that. He was a young child but he hated DH sitting near me and always wanted to spend time with just DH. We thought he would grow out of it but I never got too involved with them.

When our first DD was born (she's now 10) things got worse and he was resentful and didn't like DH holding her or playing with her. He ruined every day out so DH would often still spend time with just him. Then DD2 (now 5) was born and he stopped coming as often he was 15 but previously he was here every fortnight for a week.

He's now 20 and we haven't seen him much for over 2 years but what we have seen of him, he's the same. He doesn't interact with DD’s, is very blunt with me and he was disrespectful to DH whenever we saw him because DH didn't agree with his choices.

He started dating a woman and moved in with her at 18, I didn't get involved but neither DH nor his mum was happy as she was older and seemed manipulative and controlling. They've split up and he was living with his mum again until ex said he sexually assaulted her and now she's thrown him out and he's came here.

He's completely ignored DD’s even when they've tried talking to him. He came back here yesterday and we were sure he had taken drugs because he wasn't acting normal, or just drunk for that matter.

I don't want him living here, DH is usually supportive but is saying that he won't have anywhere to go etc.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts and advice

Has the ex reported him to the police?

This is not indicative of whether he sexually assaulted her or not. MANY women do not go to the police because it’s even more traumatising to do so - and the CPS won’t bloody take it to court anyway because it’s just ‘her word for it’.

@IncomingTraffic I was only asking a question ffs.

It’s a pretty pointed question though.

Love how you think you know my intentions or what point I might have made based on a mere question 🙄😂

He’s behaving abusively towards your family. He needs to leave. If his father doesn’t want him homeless, he needs to rent a room or flat somewhere for him.

Is your husband open to a family meeting with his ex wife. I'd get together and have a chat about the way forward. The boy's mother may have something of importance to add to the situation.

DH doesn't talk to DSS’s mum and he hasn't for a few years. It's a long backstory but we are NC with MIL whereas ex still has contact with her etc.

His behaviour towards his half sisters, and you, and his drug use are sufficient reason not to have him in your house.

That doesn't mean he shouldn't be offered support, by his DF, or believed, nor does it necessarily mean making him homeless.

He is an adult, he can get a cheap hotel room, find himself a room to lodge in or a house share and that need not take more than a few days particularly if his DF helps.

It sounds like it is about time his dad told him some home truths about why he is not welcome in your home at all, and what he may have to do to earn your trust/respect back in order to visit at all!

So had he already moved in ?
Why ..in the name of god would you want someone living with your daughters ..who has probably sexualy assaulted someone..takes drugs and treats you and your kids like shit.? ,?
Put your kids first