I have two close friends, A and B. I have known A for decades (since we were teenagers). Have known B for less time, but she's a solid friend and we all get on well and go out sometimes.
A has been in a LTR with a bloke for decades (20+ years): they have three kids, very settled. He's nice enough, a great dad but I've always thought he's a bit of a snob and that may be colouring my judgement. B is in a relatively new relationship (coming up to two years) after a horrible divorce.
A's other half has developed an intense and apparently irrational dislike of B's other half. As far as I can tell this is purely based on snobbery. B's other half is not the world's most charismatic person, not a sparkling conversationalist. He's quiet and kind of awkward and struggles to read a room but is always polite and respectful and is as far as we can tell kind, decent and generous. B seems happy with him.
A has been having an issue with some work stuff and B's partner (they work in the same industry) was helping her with it, at A's request. B's partner was doing this unpaid and has gone round to help her with it a couple of weekends running (never alone, other people and family have always been there so no suggestion any cheating or flirting has occurred).
A has said she is hugely grateful to B's boyfriend and asked B if she could him a gift to thank him. B suggested buying him dinner and drinks and tried to find a date for us all to go out (including me and my DP and our kids). A flapped for a bit and changed the subject.
A told me later in private after B and her partner had gone that she couldn't do that to her partner because her partner finds B's partner "hilariously dull" and couldn't sit in a pub or a restaurant with him for an hour without "exploding with boredom".
I thought that was really shitty. B's partner can be a bit dull sometimes but it costs nothing to sit and have a drink with him. Particularly as he's done a favour for A. Unless I'm missing some private issue between these two blokes (I'm pretty sure I'm not because they've only met about four times), I think this is just A's partner being a nasty snob.
Everyone's entitled to choose their friends and there's no reason A's partner and B's partner need to be great mates, but not being able to be superficially friendly to someone who's done your family a favour over a drink just seems so rude.
Of course A can just buy a present and give it to B's partner (which is probably what will happen). But the idea that A's partner thinks he can just walk out of rooms every time B's partner is present and completely avoid him, causing embarrassment to his family, just because he finds the bloke a bit boring, seems so entitled to me.